I need some advice as to whether im overreacting?
Been with partner 8 months, known him a lot longer as he’s a family friend. His wife left 2 years ago after she’d had an affair. We are both nearly 50.
he’s loving and caring and I love him so much. We currently live 50 miles apart but once his divorce gone thru we a want to relocate to where I live, which is where he he’s up.
yesterday I was doing an update on his phone (at his request as he is a bit of a technophobe) and I noticed messages between him and a woman who he’s friends with on social media. When we first started dating he’d mentioned her as apparently they’d been messaging and her said he’d been out on a date etc and she’d stopped messaging him. So there was talk of does she have feelings for him? On his birthday every year she leaves public messages with the tag ‘LULT’ (love you long time?). I’ve never really asked him if they were ever ‘involved’ and he was married for 23 years so if so they were very young. She also lives on a different continent now!!! Anyway, we both are open with our phones and when he went for a shower I ashamedly snooped. Only briefly as I didn’t want to get caught and it not me normally. He’d contacted her a few months ago asking how things were, kids etc. no kisses on the message. He’s never told me he’s messaged her. She’d replied with a selfie of herself in uniform (think she’s police?). And one line caught my eye ‘I’m missing you’ ….. then a huge text from my partner about his divorce etc but I didn’t see anything mentioned about me? Again no kisses on the message.
at I being paranoid it really upset me? I was really off with him and he got upset asking what was wrong. He tells me daily how much he loves me, he has custody of his children and they are obviously moving with us when he sells up so it’s not like he’s not 100% committed to me. How do I bring it up without telling him I snooped? Or do I leave it and think it’s a message between two old friends??