I've had a row with my girlfriend. We were aiming to have a discussion about boundaries and behaviours with social media use, and it's gone badly before we even reach that point.
Basically she tells me that it's possible for someone (her) to post a Facebook comment, tagging someone else in (an attractive man), and whilst she concedes the POST is flirtatious, it doesn't mean she was flirting when did posted it. To be clear, this does not relate to within our relationship, it's basically become some sort of theoretical argument between us !
I struggle with this because I think if you are posting a Facebook comment that you admit is flirty, then surely you're flirting? She tells me I am wrong and that the comment is flirtatious but when she made the post, she wasn't actually flirting. She says they are two different things. She also says it was a long time ago so doesn't matter. My view is, I didn't actually care if it was flirting I just wanted us to have a talk about boundaries and behaviours on social media use and agree common ground and am a bit shocked that we are miles apart in what flirting actually is. The comment in question was about cocks, albeit jokey. She tagged the guy in. I have no problem saying that in the past I've flirted on social media, we've all done it. And to me, if I have made a flirty comment and tagged a woman in, then yep I would have been flirting. I just thought that was pretty obvious really. I wouldn't split hairs like this and I just wondered what other people thought of it. I was pretty sure that if you post a flirtatious comment (and admit it was) then by definition you're flirting, but she's telling me it is two different things.
One of the reasons for the discussion is because she previously told me she'd ordered a hoodie off a bloke (who'd she'd said was fit) and had mentioned her tits to him, which worried me a bit as we'd been together a while by then. I felt a bit uncomfortable. She changed the story and said I'd misunderstood somehow. I left it but I knew she'd said it to me. Anyway fast forward to last week and the post crops up, showing she was tagging this guy into a post about her tits, as in, being bigger than average. She came clean and admitted previously lying to me. So that was that, and then she's said to me that it's possible for a social media post to be flirtatious, without it meaning the person posting it is actually flirting. Comments appreciated. Thanks for reading.