Should I press charges?

[Lillylight]

Last night my husband got drunk and ended up being sick during the night. He had passed out leaving all the doors open downstairsand had spilt alcohol on the carpet. This isn’t an isolated incident but it is not every week.
Having had little sleep and waking up to the chaos in the house I was extremely pissed off with him. His point of view is that getting pissed isn’t a crime so what’s my problem. He was not remorseful for the sick all in the bathroom, the stained carpet etc and my lack of sleep. He’s in his 40s. The argument escalated and resulted in him pushing me backwards, I felt chancing my top on a broken door handle which ripped my clothing. He then repeatedly put his hands on me when I made it clear I did not want him to. I begged him to leave the house but he refused so I called the police. The officer confirmed his actions are assault and I could press charges. I don’t know what to do for the best. My husband does t think he has done anything wrong and is not apologetic in the slightest.

I wouldn't press charges but I'd strongly consider leaving him.

The police could have pressed charges against him.

Were children present? What is your marriage otherwise like?

but in answer to your question - yes. And use time whilst he’s being questioned to start planning the end of the toxic relationship

Do you mind if I ask why you wouldn’t advise pressing charges?

I would press charges against him and consider divorcing him to boot. You are in effect living with a drunkard and one at that who is violent towards you. This will happen again and this is not someone you want to remain married to.

“He repeatedly put his hands on me”

what do you mean?

No children and our marriage is extreme high and lows. If everything is going well he is completely fine but when he doesn’t get his own way it’s a different story. Main issue is the lack of empathy or remorse

You don’t press charges, your decision is whether to support a criminal investigation - if you decide you want to then you provide a statement and any other supporting evidence, injury photographs, torn clothing etc. The police and the CPS decide whether anyone will be charged after the suspect has been interviewed and the investigation is complete.

Yes you do. Otherwise how is he ever going to realise that its unacceptable?

I don't think it'll come to anything if you do press charges. At best he'll get community service. I'd just want to get divorced and get him gone rather than it getting any nastier.

Patting me on the head, passive-aggressive hugs saying ‘there there’ etc

Oh crikey OP that sounds so horrible. Yes I absolutely would press chargers and show him the door.

Do it.

If you don't, why would he listen next time?

You don't decide to press charges

That's not how the law works

Report to the police

They will then decide on what, if any, charges are 'pressed'

The officer who came this morning asked me did I want press charges.

Please press charges.
Let it be registered with the police what he is done. He may think twice in the future if he feels like getting drunk and putting his hands on you and how else can he made to be accountable for his actions?
You wrote that not remorseful so things won’t improve.
How dare he treat the mother of his children so disrespectfully

I would.

I'd also tell him to leave. You haven't got children and you don't have to put up with this crap.

My husband does t think he has done anything wrong and is not apologetic in the slightest.

In that case let the Court tell him that he did something wrong.

And get rid as well.

"No children and our marriage is extreme high and lows. If everything is going well he is completely fine but when he doesn’t get his own way it’s a different story. Main issue is the lack of empathy or remorse"

Do not stay within such a marriage. What you're describing here is an abusive marriage.

Please press charges. Ask the police what you need to do to get him to leave, given the violence.

Consider talking to womens aid. He's abusive.

It gets worse.
in all honesty pressing charges for probably a caution for me wasn’t worth the stress and reliving everything so I dropped them after 2 months.
please leave him and live your life away from this arsehole. The fact he shows no remorse says it all.

Yes I would press charges, and definitely leave the horrid man.

The police were incorrect OP. You don't press charges.

This article from the Law Society will clarify.

www.lawsociety.org.uk/topics/blogs/no-gavels-please-were-british

Then they used the wrong terminology

Whether you press charges (or what the correct terminology is) or not, it really sounds like you need to leave him.

This is repeated.

It's now escalated to violence/assault.

He clearly has an issue with alcohol but also (as you've says yourself) there are also personality issues.

Even if he was remorseful or apologetic I'd still advise you to get out.

Do you want kids? I wouldn't waste any more time with him (even more so) if you do ... There are women on here occasionally with partners like this, with kids in the picture and it's upsetting to read about avd they're having to leave and break up their kids home because the man hadn't stopped and won't stop. The kids have seen shit kids shouldn't see up to that point.

Time is not a luxury from womenbwgen it comes to having kids as well.