I wouldn't do anything but he's so good-looking (and I'm married)

[Needmoreattention]

My husband works a lot (workaholic).
Through mutual friends, we've met a married couple. The husband is wow!!
And has interests and knowledge outside of his career (unlike my other half).
I'd never do anything - we're both married.
It's made me aware of how boring and limited in knowledge my husband is.
I'm not saying other man is perfect - I'd maybe get fed up of him being so intelligent - but I enjoy the thrill of wow, when I see him. But I feel guilty.
There'll be times when I have to see him, cos of mutual friends. Dreading that but simultaneously excited.🤦‍♀️

Chatting with DH, he said man was the type to cheat.
He said he was paying me too much attention and DH being more attentive now.😀
I told DH it's OK to look but never to touch.
I told him I would never play around - it's wrong. I strongly believe that.

A little less work, and more play, and you'll be fine. :)

Perhaps also look at the 'bored housewife' thing too so you have more in life for you. I need to do a bit of this. It will give you more to talk/think about from your side of things as you develop your own interests (and you might become the interesting one!)

All work, no play makes Jack a dull boy

How very considerate of you.

I'm confused, has this guy given you any indication that he's interested in you or have you created a fantasy in your head? If I were you, I'd try and make changes in your current relationship. Looking for fun outside your relationship comes at quite a cost to you and your family.

He is probably a nob that puts on a performance for new people.......and slumps back into boringness at home.

Grass is not greener.....he's also a player(!!)....is he a narcissist's? They can be charming.

I bet his wife actually sees your husband and thinks 'ah, a man that doesn't need to gavecan opinion on everything, what I wouldn't give for one of those' xD

If you're not happy with hubby, leave. Life is short afterall.

*have an opinion

You remind me of the friend I had who started an affair with my exH because hers was too busy working and giving her an amazing lifestyle. Knowing a couple and their family and simpering after one of them is one of the worst behaviours you can have. Deal with your own problems without involving yourself with others. This is no joke thing to be laughed at. The fact that you are posting shows that even talking about it gives you a little thrill.

A couple of things…

a) I don’t get it - you bang on about how “intelligent” this guy is, and so it’s the fact your husband’s boring (ie. It’s his fault) yet the title is all about how good looking he is (which means you can’t help yourself). Let’s be honest here OP - would you be getting like this if he wasn’t so physically “hot”? Are we just dealing with simple “god that guy is fit and I think I might stand a chance if I allowed it - bloody monogamy!”

b) most of us, I think, would have little sympathy with a guy who posted on here moaning how his wife is dull, now all she does is look after the kids and the house - so he’s tempted to hook up with his new mate’s wife who’s fit, got big tits and seems so much more glamorous. Switching genders doesn’t alter that.

So the OP fantasises a fair bit about this married man.

Time to nip those thoughts in the bud and focus on your partner before you get yourself in to a situation and do something you might regret!

Work? Friends? Hobbies?

Screams of your being very bored generally op

How the heck does your husband know that? You’ve only just met?

It sounds like you're projecting onto this guy the person you wish your husband was because you're unhappy in your marriage. Do you know what my (albeit completely snap) judgment of Mr Wonderful is? He's a cheat.

You need to work out whether your marriage is worth saving and concentrate on that. You say work has taken over. That's something that needs to be addressed before it's too late.

Do you work OP? You say your husband provides for you and the children, maybe he’s working so bloody hard to keep you all fed and housed, it can be a huge amount of pressure on one person, it’s not like he’s not paying you attention because he’s busy on his hobbies he’s earning a wage for the family. Maybe you need to look at the family dynamic to see if the breadwinner role can be split between you both more.

What a lovely conversation with your husband.

So you essentially revealed you fancied this friend of his.

You've just given your husband carte blanche to feel the same about other women.

Expect him to work even longer hours now.

As to this 'fling'.....as someone else said on here, it's a great term to minimise it. He cheated on his wife OP.

If you're contemplating doing the same thing, then it's just a fling. I guess if you were in the wife's shoes, you'd see it for the dirty, lying, stinky affair it is.

OP, you sound quite flippant and upbeat discussing your crush with your husband. That's quite a contrast with the start of thread where you say you're actually considering ending the marriage. Are you just bored and trying to provoke a reaction from DH? Or is this some passive aggressive way of making him feel like crap? Maybe force his hand and make him the bad guy by walking away, or make a scene? If it's the latter, I can understand why he focuses on work.

I can imagine how well that conversation would have gone if he was gushing about Mrs Wonderful instead.

The other guy sounds as much as a dick as your husband - just in different ways.

Work out whether you want to stay with your dh and have an honest conversation with him. Tell him you've considered having an affair as you're so lonely? Would that galvanise him into making a change?

I sympathise with what it's like having a workaholic husband and the loneliness - but I'd rather that than a husband who is lazy or cheats! Maybe try to talk to your dh about the reasons why he works such long hours? Is he in a very competitive industry and worries younger people with more energy will get ahead of him? Is it to do with money/lifestyle/keeping up with the joneses. Maybe trying to understand why he does it to the detriment of your relationship will make him pause for thought.

He told me info about the man.
I'm working on my marriage - communicating more.

How many times have you actually socialised with this man op?

And has interests and knowledge outside of his career (unlike my other half).

is he also the sole financial provider for his family?

and have you stopped to asked yourself what you offer him? You describe yourself as a “bored housewife”. Have you got the faintest whiff that he may be interested in you?

Leave it as a fantasy.

You sound bored. How about getting a part-time job?

He told me info about the man.
I'm working on my marriage - communicating more

That's not communicating more, that's fishing for information about someone you fancy, and your husband knows this, he knows you have mentionitis.

And it sounds like you are puposely trying to make him jealous to gain attention.