Has my DH cheated :(

[Queenofheart]

Long timer here but NC for obvs reasons.

I have a great relationship with my DH, we’re mid 50s, 100% trust, he’s very outgoing and can be flirty it doesn’t really bother me due to knowing how he feels about me and the way he treats me, been together 6 years and he’s still the same!

Anyway, in May we he went on a stag weekend, one overnight, he phoned me quite a few times, one on the way home drunk with a kebab at silly o’clock.

Moving on 6-8 weeks later he comes into the lounge to show me that warts have suddenly appeared near his genitals, they’re on his skin above his hairline not near his penis or anywhere else down below. If it's relevant growing up he says he used to be covered in them all over his hands/arms etc but he’s none anywhere else at this time.

So he swears blind that he’s done nothing wrong, it was a difficult few days, him trying to reassure me he’d done nothing wrong.

Anyway, I have googled the hell out of this and you cannot catch regular warts in your genital area (even though they’re not right down below) without sexual contact, I am in bits, I don’t know what to think! He’s recently started getting them on his arms. He got stuff off the internet but it hasn’t shifted them.

I know that genital and body warts are different and have booked him in with the GP who I am hoping can tell the difference, is this the case does anyone know. Can you get them down below though like I say not on his penis or below, and they’re not std’s?

As an added bit, he's happy for me to go into the GPs with him and has also offered to do a lie detector test to prove he’s done nothing wrong, which to me is a bit extreme.

I just don’t know what to think.

Molluscum?

Sounds like normal body warts to me. Has he got a verruca or a gym membership? They spread so easily but can take months to appear!

I agree. My gut feeling is he’s telling the truth.

I know someone who was diagnosed with genital warts. He had 6 or 7 warts all just above the hairline and none on his genitalia whatsoever! He had them zapped a few times and they didn’t go away for years!

Oh god, sorry to hear that 😒

"suddenly appeared" might suggest it's not genital warts - friends what you mean by suddenly.

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/genital-warts-or-monkeypox-how-to-tell-the-difference_uk_63108cbde4b0dc23bbef4c31

If he will show you to accompany him to a visit to a GP or the GUM clinic that might help out your mind at rest. On what you've said - I think it's hard to say ATM so I don't think you can jump to any conclusion without more facts and information.

My gut feeling on this is that he is being truthful

It's sounding like keratosis which is an age thing

clarewellclinics.co.uk/genital-dermatology/seborrhoeic-keratosis/#:~:text=Seborrhoeic%20keratosis%20(SK)%2C%20also,often%20confused%20with%20genital%20warts.

More info

Well we’ve been to the GP and it’s good news.

The GP told us they were the same as what’s on his arms, asked how long he’d had them, DH told him he’d always had one that just looked like a mark but wasn’t raised, just felt it was a skin tag or something so didn’t think much about it, GP asked if he shaved down there, which he does and he said that’s probably what’s caused them to spread, and more have appeared, he’s taken the tops off and the infection has spread, creating more! He gave him a full examination and there weren’t any anywhere other than in the top of his hairline.

He did actually say that if he’d cheated and these had appeared he wouldn’t have come to me, he’d have gone straight to the Dr to get something, without me knowing, which is true.

Thanks Mums Netters for all your brilliant advice and for putting my mind at rest too, you’ve been a big support today … 😍

Doesn't sound suspicious to me. Plus you say you trust him 100% so no issue.

All's well that end well

As you were.

Sounds innocent to me, and im generally a suspicious person.

I dont think I have heard or read the term “pussy wank” before 🤣🤣🤣

@Lebano neither had I, but once I had it fully explained to me I feel much better.

I have genital warts which only appeared 10 years into my marriage yet I know my husband hasn't cheated on me and I certainly haven't cheated on him. Genital warts are caused by a strain of HPV which can lie dormant for ages before becoming symptomatic. I don't think you need to worry.

Actually made me laugh that too 😂

It could be entirely innocent. Even if it is genital warts, it could be a very old infection. It can take years for symptoms (ie, the warts) to show themselves. Or it might not be genital warts at all.

It is a very good idea to see a doctor. If it is genital warts, you can be infected even after he is treated. Definitely do not have unprotected sex before finding out if he has genital warts, but remember that condoms do not offer complete protection.

Was going to suggest this. I have my own story.

I'd started going out with someone, went on holiday with my friend, and not long after I came back developed what I thought were genital warts. I assumed they were from my newish partner (though it had been several months by this time so unlikely in retrospect). He obviously thought I'd caught them on holiday! Was most put out. I hadn't even been near a man!

Went to the "clinic"... I was about 30 at this time, and the doc told me it was molluscum. Actually asked if I'd been to Greece recently - very odd that he knew!! Apparently rife and had seen many people come back with them and mistake them for an sti.

I did actually have a couple on my breast and my arm but mostly genitals. They aren't anything to do with sex or genitals... he basically said I probably got them on my hand from someone or something (restaurant even) and then had got them where I had (accidently 😀) "touched" myself. Ahem.

Anyway, soon sorted. And nobody had done anything naughty.

My daughter has just had a bout of them which were much more aggressive then mine. She was 10 and had them on her legs and bottom. Just one of those things that are contagious and everywhere in school etc.

I am normally very suspicious of any post like this. In this rare case, I think he might actually be being honest?!!!

((Although I Might have missed it but did the stag night involve any strip clubs or brothels etc... not sure that you'd know even if it wasn't him!!!))

Oh poor you, that sounds awful and for your little girl too.

no strip clubs or brothels thankfully 😅 and yes after going with him to the Gp I think he’s being honest