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Original poster

How annoyed would you be?

54 replies

AmbushedByCake · 05/09/2022 12:03

Back in February, I was invited to an evening function due to happen in September. It was on a Friday in another city, so I would have to stay overnight. I don't work on a Friday. I asked DH to book the day off work so he could pick the children up from school, do dinner and bed. I discussed the function several times, saying how excited I was and booking a hotel. Well he never booked the time off and now he has a mandatory event on the same day, starting in the afternoon and finishing at midnight. We have no family nearby, and nobody to take the children from 3pm after school until 1am when he would get home. So now I have to cancel. How annoyed would you be?

OP posts:
Teenyliving · 05/09/2022 12:04

id be livid

Newusernameaug · 05/09/2022 12:05

Surely he has to cancel?
you were there first with the booking, he double booked

that1970shouse · 05/09/2022 12:05

Beyond annoyed. I wouldn't cancel. It's on him to sort childcare if he can't do it himself, otherwise he doesn't go to his "mandatory" event. He can call in sick if necessary.

DenholmElliot1 · 05/09/2022 12:06

Go to the event. His thing probably isn't mandatory he probably just doesn't want to look after his own kids.

girlmom21 · 05/09/2022 12:08

What does he do where there's a mandatory event he has to attend until 1am? He's a bullshitter. He can't attend. He has prior engagements.

Idontdoyoga · 05/09/2022 12:08

Annoyed? I’d be absolutely furious!

I’d tuck it up my sleeve, sit on it, and eventually pay him back.

He’s very disrespectful.

SingingWaffleDoggy · 05/09/2022 12:09

Surely that’s his mistake to fix?
“What are YOU going to do about it DH?”

AryaStarkWolf · 05/09/2022 12:09

I would be absolutely raging. He can surely cancel or call in sick?

Original poster
AmbushedByCake · 05/09/2022 12:09

He's in the emergency services, I am 100% sure he has a mandatory event that he can't cancel without risking a disciplinary.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 05/09/2022 12:10

AmbushedByCake · 05/09/2022 12:09

He's in the emergency services, I am 100% sure he has a mandatory event that he can't cancel without risking a disciplinary.

Would his shift normally be until 1am?

CMOTDibbler · 05/09/2022 12:10

He has time to find a babysitter to do that then doesn't he? He cocked things up, he can fix it

wellhelloitsme · 05/09/2022 12:10

Don't cancel!!

His fuck up, his responsibility to fix if he can't get out of the event.

You're not the default parent just because you have a vagina - he needs to find and book suitable childcare for that evening so that the kids are looked after and you can attend your event too.

bloodyunicorns · 05/09/2022 12:11

Furious. He's a selfish disorganised idiot.

He should cancel his event - yours was booked first.

bloodyunicorns · 05/09/2022 12:13

Has his work event only just been arranged? Surely not everyone will be available?

Is it in his contact that he has to attend short-notice events? What sort of mandatory event finishes at midnight??

Creepymanonagoatfarm · 05/09/2022 12:13

Suggest some reputable babysitter services he can look into.

Original poster
AmbushedByCake · 05/09/2022 12:14

girlmom21 · 05/09/2022 12:10

Would his shift normally be until 1am?

Show quote history

Yes, his shift that day was until 1am and he has been given a tasking on his regular working shift. But he was given the tasking several months after I had booked the event.

I honestly don't know where either of us would begin looking for childcare to cover the time we would need it. Plus it would be prohibitively expensive.

OP posts:
RuthW · 05/09/2022 12:16

Doesn't matter if he did book it. You say it's mandatory and yours is pleasure so yours has yo go unfortunately

girlmom21 · 05/09/2022 12:16

Ah ok fair enough - so unless he phones in sick it's actually part of his normal shift?

I don't suppose your family is close to the location where the event is? Could the kids have the day off school and you drop them off to a relative on route?

DenholmElliot1 · 05/09/2022 12:18

Perhaps having a disciplinary will be the jolt he needs not to forget stuff that's important to you

tickticksnooze · 05/09/2022 12:18

Is this out of character for him?

Because on the face of it, he sounds like a selfish prick with no respect for you.

Original poster
AmbushedByCake · 05/09/2022 12:18

girlmom21 · 05/09/2022 12:16

Ah ok fair enough - so unless he phones in sick it's actually part of his normal shift?

I don't suppose your family is close to the location where the event is? Could the kids have the day off school and you drop them off to a relative on route?

No, all my family is in Scotland, I live in the home counties and the event is in the west of England. DHs family have never provided any childcare help and won't start now.

OP posts:
Original poster
AmbushedByCake · 05/09/2022 12:19

tickticksnooze · 05/09/2022 12:18

Is this out of character for him?

Because on the face of it, he sounds like a selfish prick with no respect for you.

Truthfully it isn't completely out of character.

OP posts:
Original poster
AmbushedByCake · 05/09/2022 12:20

RuthW · 05/09/2022 12:16

Doesn't matter if he did book it. You say it's mandatory and yours is pleasure so yours has yo go unfortunately

If he had booked the day off then he wouldn't have been allocated the event. But now that he has, there's no getting out of it.

OP posts:
Catch21 · 05/09/2022 12:21

What a selfish dickhead.

Teenyliving · 05/09/2022 12:23

Is he apologetic??