Should I have made his tea.....

[Olive249]

Hi all, just after some opinions. So today my husband was going out to the football so I made plans to go out with my Mum and sister to a local restaurant for tea.
About 45 minutes before i/he was due to go he came and asked "would I be getting tea tonight?". He did this also when we were in the supermarket last week and asked "are we not getting Sunday dinner today?"
For context I cook every meal, he has never cooked for me. Also for context I am starting to question lots of aspects of our relationship. Talked to a couple of friends today and they have said their husbands would never say anything like that to them!

I cook all the meals, do meal planning etc. If I'm away for the night 90% of the time I'll have a plan for dh. In spite of this every single time he will ask me, well in advance, will he sort himself out for x night or do I have something. I feel he's putting the responsibility on his shoulders by asking. The way he asks is him having the assumption he's doing it for himself unless I have something prepared.

Some marriages are disposable because some partners are disposable.... When you work out that, actually, they are so useless you'd be better off without them, keeping them begins to feel like a demanding, unrewarding hobby.

Mine might ask if there's anything in the fridge if I was off out, because I do the meal planning.

Equally, if I knew was going out that week I will add a lasagne or a frozen pizza to the weekly shop in place of whatever meal we'd eat together.

But never would he expected to prepare and cook a tea for him which I wasn't eating myself.

My Mum has always been the one to cook. If she goes away she thinks of easy things for my Dad to make, buys the ingredients, and leaves a plan of meals. 😂

All these poor blokes who can’t help it that they haven’t got a clue what to eat because their other halves have conditioned them to expect a meal or the ingredients for a meal to be provided every night.

I’m imagining them all walking into the kitchen and standing there looking lost until they finally keel over and faint because they are so weak due to lack of nourishment.

If only they could work out the solution the the problem…

Yes, heaven forbid their female caregivers partners are ever incapacited or absent for any reason. Maybe social services need a new department to protect these poor men neglected by their OHs (and prosecute the lazy hussies!).

My dh does all the cooking but I never expect it, and if I was in a similar situation, and my dh out for tea with a friend I'd never expect him to make me tea before he went out.

How does asking a question make that person useless though? I'm not defending him! Yes it's pathetic but to jump to divorcing because he asked an ill-thought out question?!?! 🤣

It's the way he asked. He asked if he'd be getting a meal... he's a grown man...

If you normally cook it's a reasonable question. But the response in this case should be: no I've got plans to eat out with my sister so you'll have to sort it yourself. If he doesn't like that response you'll need to reassess further.