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Original poster

Tell me it's nice living with your partner

51 replies

PermanentTemporary · 27/08/2022 21:11

Having a massive wobble about moving in with DP. It's not awful living with someone, is it? Or not always?

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 27/08/2022 21:12

Depends on the partner. Liv

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/08/2022 21:12

Oops.

Living with DH is the best thing ever. I lived on my own before, with my ex before that. This is excellent.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 27/08/2022 21:14

I love living with mine, but I like him a lot and he's house trained and useful so I never feel resentful :) my last one was useless though

KyaClark · 27/08/2022 21:16

I enjoy living with my husband but I've never lived alone.

It's nice having to get spiders, carry heavy things and reach high things.

He will also get up in the middle of the night to kick TwatCat out or get me a drink.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/08/2022 21:16

I'd be concerned if you really are that wobbly about it. What's the backstory?

anotherpotoftea · 27/08/2022 21:17

I like living with my partner but that doesn’t mean you’ll like living with yours.

How is your relationship? How long have you been together? Have you discussed things like finances and household chores?

MrsTimRiggins · 27/08/2022 21:20

As above really, the right person is fantastic. The wrong person is hideous.
I love living with my husband, he’s great. He’s not around allll that much as he works all the time but when he is about, he’s like a funny, happy, cuddly bear.

Original poster
PermanentTemporary · 27/08/2022 21:23

We've been together 18 months. Ds is about to leave home off to uni. I'm a widow, late dh died nearly 5 years ago. His son is still at home but is about to do a Masters. We're both in our 50s.

Our relationship is lovely and I really miss him in the week. We're both quite busy though, full time work, hefty social stuff etc. That will inevitably change a bit living together.

The biggest change is that we definitely can't afford a nice house where I live, and I don't want to move to his town. So we're looking at houses in nearby towns. They would be lovely, far nicer than any house I've ever lived in. But they won't be in my city.

OP posts:
SuperlativeOxymoron · 27/08/2022 21:24

I like it, DH is fun to be around, does his share around the house and with DS and we've got a good friendship beside our relationship.

However pps are right, it's definitely the person. Ex was a horror to live with.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/08/2022 21:25

I don't think you should move. Sounds like a bad idea on many different levels. You've only been dating him for 18 months, and that is not a long time.

Original poster
PermanentTemporary · 27/08/2022 21:29

No, it's not a long time.

It's even slightly triggered by a house coming up very near me that we could have afforded together, but which had more space - I do get fed up sometimes of living in my tiny house. But it turned out to be an appalling wreck (hence why affordable).

OP posts:
Gonewiththewindbeforelong · 27/08/2022 21:34

Hated living with exP. Love living with DH, and when he was DP. Very much dependant on the person I’d say.

We have found our sweet spot with how to support one another. DH is brilliant at DIY and renovated the house in his spare time to an excellent standard, and working F/T too. Me, not so good at DIY but love cooking and don’t mind cleaning our general housework, and we find the two compliment each other and when necessary, we both lean to help the other.

I wouldn’t pay too much attention to 50:50 everything or who should do what. We found ourselves playing to strengths and asking for a hand when needed. Worked for us.

The best bit about living together is the random Tuesday mornings, for example; companionship, friendship and supporting one another. I think you should always live together to ‘test’ a relationship, too!

alwaysmovingforwards · 27/08/2022 21:35

Sounds like the thought of a better house is your primary motivation...

Original poster
PermanentTemporary · 27/08/2022 21:42

A nicer place to be isn't the only motivation but yes it's one of them.

There isn't enough space in my house for us to live together. I would like to see him more - I'm always finding excuses to go over to his in the week.

OP posts:
SpinCityBlues · 27/08/2022 21:44

What's the rush? If you don't mind me asking.

KangarooKenny · 27/08/2022 21:44

I’ve been married a long time, and I crave my own place.

KohlaParasaurus · 27/08/2022 21:47

I love living with DH. Sometimes I think, "If it wasn't for you, I would ... " (mostly to do with his inability to see an empty space without wanting to fill it with a new power tool or bike part, a little to do with the logistics of having to factor someone else's comfort and preferences into every travel decision) but we create a nice serene atmosphere and I would hate to be without him. However, if anything happened to him I think I'd choose to live on my own.

FindingMeno · 27/08/2022 21:47

I think if you're having a wobble you should wait.
With your ds going off to uni it seems there is going to be quite a change for you and you should settle into that change first before making such a big decision.

Original poster
PermanentTemporary · 27/08/2022 21:49

Sigh

I do this. Start rushing towards the end of the diving board when there's no good reason to dive yet, and then pull back.

He does have to move in a year or so, but he doesn't have to move in with me.

OP posts:
userxx · 27/08/2022 21:51

PermanentTemporary · 27/08/2022 21:42

A nicer place to be isn't the only motivation but yes it's one of them.

There isn't enough space in my house for us to live together. I would like to see him more - I'm always finding excuses to go over to his in the week.

So go over and see him, it doesn't mean you have to live together, if it ain't broke 🤷‍♂️

bigspoonlittlespoon · 27/08/2022 21:52

If you're not sure, don't do it.

mewkins · 27/08/2022 21:53

You don't have to decide anything yet. See how it goes and get to know him more. Also don't buy together without testing it out first.

tonicwaters · 27/08/2022 21:54

If your gut is giving signals, listen to it.

It is a big step really, so be absolutely sure. I would not buy anywhere together just yet. Can you two afford to rent somewhere for a while and test the waters?

SpinCityBlues · 27/08/2022 21:56

18 months isn't very long.

SpinCityBlues · 27/08/2022 21:56

18
months.