Me and my male partner had an argument that ended with him physically hurting me and dumping me, it's almost 5 weeks ago now. He left the apartment and has been staying with family since. He continually gaslighting me after (saying I am the abuser, remembering wrong cause of mental health, that HE was afraid of me etc etc) so I was very very confused for weeks. He never said sorry for anything, not a single thing, while I did. I realised last week that the problem that he doesn't listen to me isn't cause I'm difficult to understand - it's simply that he doesn't care.
I have not tried talking to him since 17th, he was so mean to me during that call. He did show up 19th "to get clothes" when I did not answer texts of him asking how I was doing, I told I could not have contact with him anymore when he treats me poorly, when he asked me what it was I ment he had said I told him to stop acting stupid and that it's enough. He looked chocked and left. I felt strong then, but now in some kind of downward spiral again.
He texted on Wednesday wanting to come here to discuss my "well-being, how I was doing and the apartment" (me and DD live in what is legally his apartment, I am searching and applying for EVERYTHING I can) - I just told him that my well being is my business (how does he think I feel??) and since he has already said his decision regarding the apartment I have nothing more to add since I am doing everything I can to find us a new place.
My beloved pet of 15 years got acutely sick and died 2 weeks ago, had to see him suffer while my ex brought us to the vet, I had no one else who could take me. I did check how ex could eventually evict us and it would require many legal hoops I am 100% sure he has not even started jumping through + I could then appeal for more time. Legally we are still in a domestic partnership. I do want to find something else though so I dont need the contact with him.
I still feel awful. It's been 5 weeks tomorrow and I feel heart broken like it's yesterday. I want him back. I know I can't cause of what he's doing/has done and then is refusing to take responsibility of, but it's getting to me badly again. I did apply and get accepted for an IT education so I'm doing that best I can to be independent but my mind is on him, all the time. I got a therapist I go to every week and while it feels good then and there I don't feel well rest of the time.
How long did it take for you to get over a rough break-up? or at least to start feeling better?
My first post that discussed it, written about a month ago, if anyone wants more background:
www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4602339-any-tricks-re-arguments-and-who-did-what-to-keep-sane