It's been a week and today I had this

[BrokenRainbow22]

He left me a week ago today. It still hurts like absolute crazy and I still can't understand why he would walk out so easily and not come back but I know shit happens, I've got to deal with it but today I received a letter in the post, well not me but our kids. It was posted yesterday special delivery guaranteed today by 1pm, it simply reads...

Child1&Child 2
Its daddy, hope you're being good daddy loves you and misses you very much. Enjoy yourself and have fun daddy's always watching over you sleep well love daddy xx

That is it nothing else, now I read that and I was angry at the b for walking out on his family but then after I had calmed down I started to worry and read a little bit too much into what he had wrote 'daddy's always watching over you'
Do you think this is a letter I should be worried about reading and his mental state isn't in the best place? Or have I over read it?

I think I'm going to write my feelings in a letter and post it to his sisters house as I don't know his moms address. I'm so upset but yes angry at the same time, men walk out all the time and leave us poor moms to deal with the fall out. I'm disgusted in his poor behaviour, I hate my kids being upset especially my daughter she's really sensitive

Please don't do this!!! Do not feed the narc, please don't.

By all means write the letter - but for yourself only.

Then go and talk to a counselor.

Please don't do anything until you've had some therapy, because I fear you may be codependent, and therefore very vulnerable.

Yes, OP, just get it out and then burn it or something. No good will come of trying to send it to him.

I can not tell you strongly enough NOT to send a letter. From experience this will be the worst thing you can do and it's exactly what he wants you to do. Grey rock - completely ignoring him - is the way to go.

Write a letter, put down everything you feel and think about him and then burn it or put it aside. It can be very cathartic to write it all down, so I would highly recommend it, but do not send it.

sorry you are going through this. Do your letter but sending would be playing into his hands so burn it instead. Its terrible he has left his children with no idea of when they will see him. Keep focussed on practical stuff and keep busy.

I would call into the local police station with the note and ask that 1). They do a welfare check because he has a previous history of suicide attempts and 2). Explain to the police that this is possibly a threat because he is very controlling and you don’t feel safe. Ask them to check your home for cameras and advise on new locks and security. I’m sorry if you cover this in your previous post but I can’t get the link to work.

there is something very dark about his letter that is clearly meant to manipulate you one way or the other. Please, please do not take this man back, your daughter will be sad initially but you don’t want her growing up in a traumatic home and thinking it’s normal. X

Do not contact him OP!!

He walked out please don’t embarrass yourself!!

The letter was either a tactic to make sure you don’t move on or because he does feel a bit guilty for walking out on the kids (though not guilty enough for actually wanting to see them), if could have even been a family member or his new gf telling him to write the letter.

Please, please don’t contact him as I promise you you will regret it!

The reason your kids are so upset is probably because they see you moping about and then feel upset on your behalf.

Of course they’ll be missing him but if your relationship wasn’t working then I’ll guarantee they’ll be so much happier - but right now you’re stopping them from being happy.

I know it’s hard but you need to not be selfish right now as they already have one selfish parent.

I would keep the letter but no way in hell would I have given that manipulative, toxic drivel to my kids. That's so confusing for them. If he wants to see them, he can very easily make arrangements to do so like every normal, decent NR parent does after a relationship ends.

Why are you writing to him? You are prolonging your own agony and engaging with his bullshit games. Concentrate on getting your kids through this and find a way to draw your strength from them. If he wants to be a father he can make contact - in a healthy and meaningful way, not with silly letters hinting at suicide and all sorts. He knows where you all are. No need whatsoever for all the dramatics.

I didn't think of the repercussions of I had actually posted the letter. I intend to keep it in a cupboard and every time I feel sad, read it and remember all this hurt and anger I feel at this moment. Thanks for all the advice