Feels like I'm getting too old for DP even though we've both grown older

[KitsuneUdon]

Met DP when I was 29, he was 30 then, been together for 4.5 years, no intentions of having kids for personal reasons.

A few months ago a comment I made because he can no longer get into the mood or sometimes even get off during sex without porn escalated into an argument, and I learnt that he was so obsessed with watching porn of 18-25 year old actresses/models because he felt like he missed out on those years as he never got a chance to be women "in their prime". He was tipsy and angry he said he regretted saying that afterwards but I have my doubts.

He says he's sorry, been doing nice little things to try and make me happy, but no matter what he does I can't get over it? Doesn't help that he still can't help but spend the bulk of his screen time scrolling through Instagrams and TikToks of young women in scantily clad clothes and he still can't get into the mood without porn because that's just how he's wired apparently. It's over isn't it.

Sorry but I would say so - he's looking at teenagers! I really don't know how you could get by this, and personally I wouldn't want to. He could be an 18 years Dad. Beyond creepy.

*18 year olds

What a twat. You deserve more, OP. He 'missed out'? Boo hoo. 'It's 'the way he's wired'? - what a load of absolutely bollocks excuses. If you were 29 four years ago, you are in your prime. I suggest you don't waste any more of your prime on a porn-soaked idiot who doesn't appreciate you!

And 'in their prime' is a ridiculous comment. Vulnerable with not much life experience he means.

I just couldn't be with a man who looked at young girls and couldn't get it up without porn.

It's not how he is wired, it's what he has become used to.

Bin him off

What a prick.
It should be over you are wasting your prime.

he never got a chance to be women "in their prime".
If you're still under 35 you've not reached your prime yet so I think he's blown his chance.
There's something wrong with a bloke who is porn-dependent, let alone one who needs it to be significantly younger women.

I'm so sick of this. My past 2 relationships ended because of similar issues — one visited prostitutes and defended it by saying it was just sex and another would look at porn through breakfast, while I was driving, while we were watching TV etc.

Sounds horrible but I think the only thing stopping me from leaving even though I've been thinking about it since that night is that if I leave I don't think I'd want to date anymore because I feel like 3 times of this shit and that's it.

Dump him, he’s awful.

You don't have to, dump him and be single. Honest it's better than this.

There are good men out there, you just have to wade through the shit to get to deeper waters xx

He is not a keeper, no respect for you at all.

But you aren’t even dating him until he was 30? If he wasn’t able to get with girls ‘in their prime’ when he was the same age, they simply weren't into him.
mid point this out then seriously consider ditching the porn addicted loser.

This with bells on. He sounds creepy and gross and like one of these awful incel types who gets angry because he thinks he’s entitled to the hottest, youngest women and can’t cope that he’s not remotely attractive to them. He’ll only get worse. Surely being single is better than being shackled to a bitter and creepy loser who gets off on gazing angrily at exploited teenagers because he doesn’t get to shag them?

He knows the women are drugged right?
That the exploitation continues because of men like him.
That most 18-25 yr olds whom have a full and varied sex life don't have porn ones.

It's fucking fantasy land, literally and metaphorically.

I would say '"well there is little attractive about a mid 30s floppy dick dribbling over teenagers either but we all have our crosses to bear"

And he's talking utter balls anyway it has been shown in the real world women are in their sexual prime in their 30s. Confidence, experience all peak later for females.

It's the first step towards thinking women should be thankful for his godlike attention.

Leave him to it.

You must look at him and want to vomit.

Leave him to it, to find his perfect aged woman in real life.

He's living in cookoo land and just ruined your relationship.

The eternal wanker.

There seems to be sooo many guys who think like this these days! How does it not sink into their tiny brains that even the youngest most beautiful woman will age? What do they plan to do, dump each girlfriend as soon as she hits 30 and trade her in for a younger one? Men like this will never ever be able to sustain a long term relationship. They are so deluded too… they don’t seem to realise they have also aged and that teenage girls are not remotely interested in them sexually 🤢🤢🤢

OP you are still young and in your prime!! I hope this experience hasn’t knocked your confidence. Leave this loser in fantasy wank land. He will never be truly happy, he’ll just get more pathetic as gets older. He has no respect for women whatsoever and you can do a million times better for yourself than this and you know it ❤️

Sorry I don't understand why he says he never got to be with women of that age, who was he seeing when he was that age himself?

Tell him you aren't hanging around to be wistful you missed out on a decent man.

Porn use is grim and just shows a certain level of disrespect for real women.

What a weirdo.

I opened this thread thinking it was going to be about an age gap relationship like mine where I’m considerably older than my dh who I’ve been with for 12 years…. I often feel a lot older than he is !

But nope, it’s just some woman hating arse wipe who fancies young women and thinks life is passing him by because he can’t get his leg over with an 18 year old.

Yuck.

Oh God. You’re what - 34? You’re in your prime. Don’t waste it on him…..

He’s gross. You deserve better.

It's it that he can't get into the mood without porn, it's because of porn that he can't get in the mood. It's well known that men who watch porn can experience performance issues

Run run run OP, they're not worth it! Porn addicted men should be forced to weak fecking armbands.

I'm in my 30's and a lot softer around the middle and less dolled up and preened than I was in my 20's, my husband still salivates over me like he's got a Victoria's Secret model in his bed. You deserve a man who hasn't poisoned his mind and enfeebled his penis with porn use.

I read this because I thought it might reflect my own situation, I'm 61 and my partner is 57 and she makes me feel like an old fart she is so fit active and healthy.

The guy's a creep, take the pain and ditch him now while you still have a life. what's he going to be like in 5 or 10 years? Where will his addiction take him? Nowhere you want to be for sure.