Feels like I'm getting too old for DP even though we've both grown older

[KitsuneUdon]

Met DP when I was 29, he was 30 then, been together for 4.5 years, no intentions of having kids for personal reasons.

A few months ago a comment I made because he can no longer get into the mood or sometimes even get off during sex without porn escalated into an argument, and I learnt that he was so obsessed with watching porn of 18-25 year old actresses/models because he felt like he missed out on those years as he never got a chance to be women "in their prime". He was tipsy and angry he said he regretted saying that afterwards but I have my doubts.

He says he's sorry, been doing nice little things to try and make me happy, but no matter what he does I can't get over it? Doesn't help that he still can't help but spend the bulk of his screen time scrolling through Instagrams and TikToks of young women in scantily clad clothes and he still can't get into the mood without porn because that's just how he's wired apparently. It's over isn't it.

So did he have no sexual experiences before meeting you at 30? He's suggesting he missed the 18-25 age bracket. If so, thats his issue. I dont think you're going to be able to get passed this OP particularly with having already experienced it before. I think you best start making plans even if you don't execute them just yet. Best of luck whatever you decide x

Dump him. Why subject yourself to such a loser? Porn distorts and destroys relationships. If you want to date, make it clear from the start that you won’t put up with it - or better still, find someone who also hates porn.

Jesus you are in your prime! He’s minging. I had an ex like this. He was in his 40s still drooling over 20 year olds.

Poor you OP. He’s going to have to make this up to you massively otherwise how can you ever respect him?

Oh God he's awful. Dp and I have only been together 2 years so it's different but he almost literally worships my body (which is a very ordinary 53 year old overweight one). He's 56. He tells me constantly he's never experienced a sexual connection as strong as ours. I wouldn't particularly care if he occasionally looked at porn, and he has done a litte bit in the past, but he genuinely doesn't at the moment, though he has been known to gaze wistfully at pictures of Kate Bush who remains his celebrity free pass/one true love. We have a whale of a time sexually together. I refuse to accept anything less. If he were constantly looking at porn - in the car? Wtf? - I would be gone.

FFS you were (and still are) in your prime!

You are still very young. Maybe while you are in your prime you can meet someone else who suits you better, but in the meantime you can have some fun with someone who appreciates you without the porn.

It def should be over…

His creepy objectification of younger women and his sad reliance on porn isn’t going to improve or go away is it ? You are stuck with that pathetic dysfunction for ever ! Get out now and don’t waste any more of your time. Tell him that when disappointed, you’re just “wired” to move onto a better man .

Ick

Oh god, you have one life, don't spend it with this man.

My ex told me he missed out all that stuff too because I was older than him. It's a twattish thing to say to someone. He's no fucking Tom Hardy and was not exactly a poster boy for looking after himself.

Don't do what I did and actually waste your good years on him.

Sounds like he is past it to be honest! Porn addiction is gross. Dump the loser and make sure he knows he is not attractive.