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Original poster

Two year anniversary ...

35 replies

droppinit · 23/08/2022 15:16

No plans made to mark it.
Is it reasonable to expect a fuss been made of. We're late forties and don't live together.

OP posts:
Original poster
droppinit · 23/08/2022 15:17

In a romantic relationship I should have added.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 23/08/2022 15:17

Anniversary of what?

DwightShrutesYFronts · 23/08/2022 15:18

Just what I was going to ask MrsTP. Doesn't sound like there's anything to have an anniversary of Confused

Original poster
droppinit · 23/08/2022 15:19

Sorry. Getting together I meant.

OP posts:
Newusernameaug · 23/08/2022 15:19

Is it reasonable to expect a fuss been made of

thats entirely up to you and your partner. Have you asked them? What would they like to do? What would you like to do?

Original poster
droppinit · 23/08/2022 15:21

I'd like him to take the lead and organise a card/dinner only to mark it

OP posts:
FetchezLaVache · 23/08/2022 15:24

What, if anything, was done to mark your first year together?

Original poster
droppinit · 23/08/2022 15:25

We went away overnight to a different town and had dinner, All organised by me.

OP posts:
Dery · 23/08/2022 15:27

@droppinit - IME this kind of anniversary doesn’t mean that much to men. Not to say he doesn’t love and value you but he’s probably not that focussed on the precise anniversary of when you got together.

If you want to celebrate it, then you may have to take the lead on it rather than set him up to fail which is what you’re currently doing. (In saying this, I’m assuming he’s otherwise a good partner to you and you’re generally contented in the relationship).

DropOfffArtiste · 23/08/2022 15:27

Tell him, once, that you'd like him to organise your second anniversary as you did the first. Then wait and see what happens. If nothing, you can decide whether you want to stick it out for a third disappointment.

Newusernameaug · 23/08/2022 15:28

Have you asked them to arrange a dinner out?

If so - what did they say?
and if you haven’t then that’s on you for not communicating your needs.

NerrSnerr · 23/08/2022 15:28

People have different expectations. You need to have a discussion with him what you should do as a couple for anniversaries, valentines, birthdays etc.

If you don't tell him what is expected of him you can't moan if he doesn't do it!!

FetchezLaVache · 23/08/2022 15:30

DropOfffArtiste · 23/08/2022 15:27

Tell him, once, that you'd like him to organise your second anniversary as you did the first. Then wait and see what happens. If nothing, you can decide whether you want to stick it out for a third disappointment.

That's what I'd suggest too!

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/08/2022 15:32

That's not an anniversary to me. If it is to you 9and not him), you can organise it.

IF and it's a big IF he he does nice things for the events he values. Otherwise he's not nice anyway.

Shoxfordian · 23/08/2022 15:33

Did you talk to him about it?

Original poster
droppinit · 23/08/2022 15:38

He's an amazing partner and I feel Cherished and valued for the first time in my life.
He's just not romantic in the traditional sense of the word.
And I do love a bit of romance !

OP posts:
FizzyFucker · 23/08/2022 15:41

If you want this relationship to last you'll need to learn to communicate what you want with him.

DropOfffArtiste · 23/08/2022 15:42

So tell him that romance is important to you, in the traditional sense. If he is the right one for you, he will want to make you happy and fulfill your needs.

Dery · 23/08/2022 15:43

@droppinit so if he’s ticking lots of boxes, don’t set him up to fail for not doing something you know isn’t his style. I love MN but I do think there can be a tendency to demand perfection from men. No-one is perfect. You celebrating the anniversary can be your way of showing how much you value the way he makes you feel cherished and valued, if you see what I mean.

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/08/2022 15:43

droppinit · 23/08/2022 15:38

He's an amazing partner and I feel Cherished and valued for the first time in my life.
He's just not romantic in the traditional sense of the word.
And I do love a bit of romance !

I would have a really very serious think about this. You feel valued and cherished. And you haven't before. Which means he is worth more every day than the rest of the people you've been with. Did some of them use romance as a pacifier? Love-bombing? To keep you on the hook?

It's possible you are a little addicted to the idea of romance. My advice; create your own romance and enjoy him for what he is.

Dery · 23/08/2022 15:45

@MrsTerryPratchett put it better than me - definitely seconding her.

Original poster
droppinit · 23/08/2022 15:45

Yes perhaps I need to accept that he isn't the romantic type because his other characteristics are head and shoulders above romance , in terms of importance to me.

OP posts:
ShandaLear · 23/08/2022 15:46

This is not the hill I’d die on if everything else is good.

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/08/2022 15:47

And I was nodding along with @Dery Grin

@droppinit you can be the romantic one. As long as he's loving and kind. What are his other characteristics?

ShandaLear · 23/08/2022 15:48

You could say something like, “Hey, it’s our second anniversary on xxx. Shall we go out to dinner to celebrate? Why don’t you book us a table at xxx?”