Two year anniversary ...

[droppinit]

No plans made to mark it.
Is it reasonable to expect a fuss been made of. We're late forties and don't live together.

It's not a proper anniversary.
Hope does this work if you were friends first? First time you met, first time you kissed, first time you had sex? All a bit odd. DH and I didn't have an anniversary until we got married.
If you want to celebrate, why not say where do you fancy going on x weekend, why does it have to be one or the other organising. It's not much to say let's go for dinner at our favourite restaurant for example.

This

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People have different expectations. You need to have a discussion with him what you should do as a couple for anniversaries, valentines, birthdays etc.
If you don't tell him what is expected of him you can't moan if he doesn't do it!!

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If you want this relationship to last you'll need to learn to communicate what you want with him.

Some people think it is nice to celebrate an anniversary of meeting or first date or some other unclear date, and lots of others don't. Neither is right or wrong, but if it is something you want to do, then say so. You can't presume anyone else thinks it is even a thing.

It was mine and dp's 3 year anniversary a few days ago and we remembered half way through the day while we were at a festival!

I think, generally speaking of course, that women tend to be more aware and bothered by anniversaries than men so you might have to make your expectations clearer.

If it matters to you, you should have an honest and very clear conversation where you explain that anniversaries mean a lot to you, and you are a romantic and would like to do something, and it would mean a lot to you if he would organise it as you organised last year. And I mean clear - do not just hint!!! It must contain the words "please would you organise something romantic to celebrate our anniversary which is on X date?"

If he is a good decent bloke, he'll do it for you even if he thinks it's a bit silly.

But for you to expect / assume / drop veiled hints / be passive aggressive about it would be totally unreasonable. Because 9 out of 10 people wouldn't clock this sort of anniversary. I don't say you shouldn't - we should all get our happiness in our own way - but don't expect him to play by rules you think are obvious but which are unlikely to have occurred to him.

If it is important to you, just day so. It doesn't sound romantic, but can be...

My DP's family don't send cards. Never have and he isn't fussed. But I love cards, so about a week before the first birthday of mine we were together, I (very embarrassed) texted him and said they were important to me, so would he mind sorting one out?

He replied and thanked me for telling him and said that now he knew he would get me one for every birthday, Christmas, anniversary and important occasion since. And he has, which is lovely. But equally lovely was me being able to tell him something openly, and him listen and respond in a way that made me feel heard and understood.

Either accept that he's unlikely to make a big thing of events like this (perhaps only for big ones) or tell him it's important to you and that you'd like to do something to celebrate it.

What you definitely shouldn't do is get into the habit of hoping and waiting for him to organise something and then getting disappointed and eventually resentful when he inevitably doesn't. MN is full of threads by women embittered by years of their partner not doing this stuff.

No celebration necessary IMO but if that’s what you want tell your DP or arrange something.

Anniversaries aren’t a big deal to me or DH. I couldn’t tell you the date we first met or when our first date was, I do know our W/A though.

I'd like him to take the lead and organise a card/dinner only to mark it

Is there any chance that you have mentioned quite casually to him that given you organised your celebration last you, you would like him to take the lead this year?

The flaw in even agreeing so much is that if you leave it to him, and he isn't fussed about celebrating or if his ideas of a celebration are different to yours, then you won't get the celebration you want.

DH is happy to leave the organising to me and I am delighted to be the one taking the initiative. Suits me and I get things exactly how I want them.

Would you rather have a 'surprise' even if it isn't how you would want it, or have the organisation to do yourself?

I would expect a nice night out together for a meal, event, maybe overnight. I’d expect it to be organised together though, not really as a gift, as it’s not like a birthday but a collective celebration.

Who are you to say what is a proper anniversary for other people?
It's totally up to two people in relationship to decide what relationship milestones they want to celebrate and what is important to THEM. Most important thing is to communicate it.