Phone thrown on motorway

[Hparker21]

My DP and I were driving from one city to another today with our baby in the back. He doesn’t drive so I was driving. He was supposed to be navigating but didn’t tell me when to turn so I missed the exit. Id specifically asked him to use my google maps because he kept screwing up directions on his Apple Maps but he’d turned the volume down so it didn’t speak. He said ‘there’s a roundabout coming up in 5 minutes or so’ but then it was apparently a turn off to the left almost immediately which I missed. He said something angry to which I responded ‘but you said it was a roundabout’ and pulled into a lay by. He lost his temper and yelled at me then threw my phone at the floor. It’s smashed now.

I got us back on the right road and drove on, shaking and trying not to cry. About ten miles on he said ‘I’m sorry I lost my temper’ Were at our hotel now and I basically left him with the baby and bolted.

We’ve both got a temper and he’s raised his voice to me before but never anything like this. I am distraught and don’t know what to do. We’ve got two days here in a city I’ve always wanted to visit before we go home and I don’t even want to be in the same room as him.

I was wondering this but forgot to ask.

Does he insist on "navigating"?

"I am the most placid of guys"

Except when I throw my child's oho e and smash it up.

Do you smash up big burly bloke's phones too or just phones that belong to girls?

Did the OP not think to herself "roundabout?On a motorway? That can't be right, he must mean a slip road leading to a roundabout, I'll look out for it"? Exits are clearly marked about a mile before the slip road. And then to stop in a refuge area 🙄. Honestly these are the kind of half awake drivers I worry about when I'm motorway driving.

Anyway, that's beside the point. What I was going to say was, we don't know what had happened before the incident. Maybe there was a lot of tetchyness & arguing from both of them and both drivers were in a bad temper. We've only heard one side of the event. Not excusing him throwing the phone but he didn't throw it at the OP and in a car he wouldn't have been able to throw it very far - there's not enough leg room in most cars for a throw hard enough to smash a phone. After growing up in a home where parents lost their tempers at the drop of a hat, I can say it causes psychological damage to children. Both OP & her partner need to learn to manage their anger before their child is affected.

And as for Richielogic, his poor daughter. I predict she's going to be needing counselling in the future.

She wont be needing any counselling in the future, don't be so ridiculous
I have an amazing relationship with my DD

late teenage girls can be VERY dramatic i can tell you and will have their moments and push you to the edge. As a parent you have few options open to you and taking phones off them is common place by parents but if that doesn't work you are limited by what you can do. I know other parents in the same situation. I know others that have also smashed their phones in desperate situations. I'm not saying as a daily basis but it happens.

When you have had a 17yr old be abusive to you and getting up to stuff on their phones which i don't want to go into here, you come back and tell me how you would have handled it. You dont know the full picture of the situation. Only taking snippets from comments on a forum.

She should be going to university next month and i'm hoping it will be the making of her. She might not go yet as its too comfortable at home but don't pre judge and make 2 and 2 equal 22 you need to be there to understand it

GL

When you have had a 17yr old be abusive to you and getting up to stuff on their phones which i don't want to go into here, you come back and tell me how you would have handled it.

Not by smashing their phone.

You've set her up well for an abusive future partner and she's only a teenager. Well done.

You sound like a kid yourself.

And the person who said you wouldn't be smashing up a man your own size's phone is correct too.

late teenage girls can be VERY dramatic i can tell you

@Richielogic

That is pretty funny coming from a grownup who uses violence as a parenting technique. Who loses his rag over typical teenage behaviour to the point he smashes a phone belonging to someone much younger and weaker. Drama much 🙄

OP,

This is not a good road you are on.
Don't marry him and make it worse.

Throwing things is not good.
I think you should encourage him to get his therapy and look at moving out.

Your strong reaction to his awful behaviour and his general treatment of you is good.

He has choices and has chosen to behave badly.

Seeking therapy is so easy to say to placate you.

Get yourself and your baby away from him and give your time to decide is this really the future you want for your child.

Reach out for support from family and friends.