Phone thrown on motorway

[Hparker21]

My DP and I were driving from one city to another today with our baby in the back. He doesn’t drive so I was driving. He was supposed to be navigating but didn’t tell me when to turn so I missed the exit. Id specifically asked him to use my google maps because he kept screwing up directions on his Apple Maps but he’d turned the volume down so it didn’t speak. He said ‘there’s a roundabout coming up in 5 minutes or so’ but then it was apparently a turn off to the left almost immediately which I missed. He said something angry to which I responded ‘but you said it was a roundabout’ and pulled into a lay by. He lost his temper and yelled at me then threw my phone at the floor. It’s smashed now.

I got us back on the right road and drove on, shaking and trying not to cry. About ten miles on he said ‘I’m sorry I lost my temper’ Were at our hotel now and I basically left him with the baby and bolted.

We’ve both got a temper and he’s raised his voice to me before but never anything like this. I am distraught and don’t know what to do. We’ve got two days here in a city I’ve always wanted to visit before we go home and I don’t even want to be in the same room as him.

I'm glad he's apologised and agreed to get help. It's not ok that he shouts at you and says nasty things. It's not ok that he threw your phone. Be careful, and the next time he does anything like this, you need to leave because it will escalate.

Also, I really don't think anyone was implying that he was trying to isolate her by breaking her phone, but there was a line in the TV show Maid "Before They Bite, They Bark. Before They Hit You, They Hit Near You". He wasn't directly violent towards her, but he was violent towards her belongings. That's a huge red flag and very worrying.

I'd believe he's sorry when he replaces your phone or gets it fixed. And lends you his in the meantime.
It's quite something when it's the passenger who gets so stressed out, not the driver, who is actually doing the stressful job.

Oh my God, you mean you pulled into one of the SOS refuges? Definitely not safely parked then! Was he shouting at you to pull over?

That does put a rather different spin on it to be honest. He compromised your safety and your baby's safety.

Why did he insist on giving you shit directions himself instead of just letting Google maps talk to you? It does sound like he's (possibly not deliberately) created the situation that then angered him such that he broke your phone.

Why did you stop in an emergency refuge area? They are only supposed to be used in emergencies. If the argument between you was so bad that it qualified as an emergency then you shouldn’t be travelling together as you’re not only endangering yourselves but other people too.

What a stupid post. As if she could possibly have known before they set off what would happen. And clearly she was trying to stay safe. Don’t be such a sanctimonious prat.

Get your baby and drive home. Your partner, (should be ex-partner), can find for himself.

Jesus Christ

No Richie, you are not the most placid of guys if this is how you deal with conflict. This is abuse and I suggest you get therapy to deal with your incontrollable anger.

No placid person is smashing up phones twice. Especially not their DD's.

@Richielogic your behaviour towards your daughter is abusive.

@Richielogic you are an abusive arsehole.

When you say "later saw sense" do you actually mean she bowed to your will and did everything you wanted her to do in order to keep herself and her other possessions safe because she was scared of what you might do otherwise?

Because generally that's how women respond when men, bigger, stronger, more aggressive than us, usually with power over out wellbeing in other ways too, that's how we respond when they lose their shit and smash our stuff or threaten us.

Placid my arse. What a horrific human being you are.

God, your poor daughter. You are violent and abusive.

There are no circumstances in which smashing your child’s phone is the right thing to do, it speaks to your inadequacies as a parent and as a human being. Such a tough guy, huh.

And no it isn’t a big leap to say that smashing a phone indicates a violent disposition. You are a violent person and you can be arrested for what you did. Your sense of ownership over your daughter is disturbing.

This.

As a one off, it’s not necessarily a big issue. If it becomes a pattern, then that’s a different matter.

If it happens again you need to end it. I’d be wary of marriage at this point.

This is the biggest bait ever - no way would such a man actually exist

A placid man may have taken his daughter's phone away, but smashed it? Twice? Get therapy, man. That's way out of control and it's not teaching her what you think it is.

The way some people either delude themselves or attempt to delude others is almost beyond belief.

Placid? You know that a common trait of abusers is that they don't see themselves as such right? I expect your poor daughter now toes the line, right, because she is afraid of what you might do. You have shown spiteful violence on two occasions. She now knows she is not 100% safe with you (whether she or you admits it or not) and will adjust her behaviour accordingly. And you are setting her up to think such behaviour is normal and therefore putting her at high risk of entering into an abusive relationship when she is older.
Slow hand clap - what crappy parenting. And you are apparently congratulating yourself on it. It nearly beggars belief (but sadly doesn't because - as I said before all abusers are strangely similar in their core attitudes)

As if she could have possibly known what? That he’d say something angry? Re read the OP:

He said ‘there’s a roundabout coming up in 5 minutes or so’ but then it was apparently a turn off to the left almost immediately which I missed. He said something angry to which I responded ‘but you said it was a roundabout’ and pulled into a lay by. He lost his temper and yelled at me then threw my phone at the floor. It’s smashed now.

Posted too soon. My point is that at the point OP pulled into the emergency area (which she referred to as a lay-by) there wasn’t an emergency. It’s a dangerous thing to do on a motorway and to be honest I think this thread is made up.

Hindsight is of course wonderful but he's a shit navigator so don't ask him again.

I suppose people don't plan ahead very often now but rely on sat nav "on the day"?

Sounds as if anger management would be good for both of you.

He was obviously wrong to yell when he gave wrong directions.

Not the point of the post, but why did he have to even tell you what the phone said? Why don't you have a phone holder for the ac vent that you just clip your phone in so that you can see it yourself? How do you navigate if you're on your own?