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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Neighbour issue - fence and leaves

57 replies

ShedThirtySeven · 21/08/2022 13:39

Our semi-detached neighbour spoke to us recently about leaves from a bush in our garden being on her driveway.

It’s an evergreen, and the leaves she was referring to (about a handful) - contained only a few from the bush.

She wanted me to contact an expert to look at the bush, or to remove it. We’ve not done anything - the bush is fine, although we had been thinking about taking it out, prior to her complaint.

Neighbour does all manner of odd things (sprays water from her hose onto our property, anxiety about any plants from our garden - we’ve cut them all back, regularly asks/demands that workmen enter our garden to clean her property, her workman damaged our front wall and she refused to accept responsibility).

End of last week - she’s going to ask for a fence to be put in all around her front drive due to leaves. This is likely to look ridiculous as none of the other properties have fences at the front, and all because of one bush. It also feels as she is doing it more to ‘make a point’.

DP says he could just go and remove the bush today, but it feels as if we are bowing down to her demands?

She has done this type of behaviour with various other things before, and it feels more like a control issue - than a bush issue.

So do we leave the bush and face having a ridiculous fence put up, or take the bush out and let her ‘win’?

OP posts:
EllaPaella · 21/08/2022 13:42

If you're not bothered about the bush why don't you say you will happily remove just as soon as she has taken responsibility and paid for the damage caused to your property by her workmen? Removing the bush is unlikely to stop the behaviour as people like this will generally always find something else to then start obsessing over.

Blackdiame · 21/08/2022 13:43

I'd let her putthe fence up then take out the Bush but I'm pretty like that.

Discovereads · 21/08/2022 13:45

Youve been thinking about removing the bush, your neighbour would like it removed. To me that seems win-win? Not she wins and you lose?

I think you’re over complicating things. I understand she’s been a real PITA, but not taking out a bush you wanted gone just to spite her isn’t going to improve your relationship with her.

Johnnysgirl · 21/08/2022 13:45

What's your objection to the fence? Unless it's a 6 foot job, just let her get on with it.

ShedThirtySeven · 21/08/2022 13:47

Thanks @EllaPaella . That’s exactly what she does - she finds a new thing to obsess over, and we can be the bad guys again/feel persecuted.

The wall was resolved - we found some spare bricks and asked our builder to repair. I don’t want to go through it all again with a fence! She got a fence up in the back a year or so ago between her property/other neighbour. It was 9ft high, and the workman had screwed it on to the neighbours low wall. She removed it, after a lot of hysterics.

OP posts:
ShedThirtySeven · 21/08/2022 13:48

@Blackdiame thats exactly what DP said 😆

OP posts:
ShedThirtySeven · 21/08/2022 13:50

@Johnnysgirl I would say - based on previous work she’s had done - there are likely to be issues of poor work, damage to our side.

OP posts:
Johnnysgirl · 21/08/2022 13:51

ShedThirtySeven · 21/08/2022 13:50

@Johnnysgirl I would say - based on previous work she’s had done - there are likely to be issues of poor work, damage to our side.

Oh, right. Well if you think removing the bush would be the end of it (?), maybe just do it.

Brigante9 · 21/08/2022 15:28

I think I’d leave the bush, just make sure her fence doesn’t impinge on your land. She sounds quite unwell/anxious.

KosherDill · 21/08/2022 15:31

She's a nutter.

Don't kill a healthy plant to appease her.

stuntbubbles · 21/08/2022 15:34

I would put in six or seven more bushes. Every time she makes a complaint or does something mental: another bush. I would out-petty her until the day I drowned in shrubbery rather than dig up a plant because of its LEAVES

AlisonDonut · 21/08/2022 15:37

What is the bush?

SmithfamilyRobinson · 21/08/2022 15:40

Are you me?! Our neighbour dislikes leaves too... she put a high fence up along the detached side - the wrong way so we have the ugly strutts. The workmen trashed our flower beds putting it in. Mercifully we no longer have to speak to her due to the fence now but she wants us to prune a tree on the corner of our property which we'll probably agree to in case she gets a random workman up a ladder with a chainsaw. Everyone round here is OBSESSED with cutting all the big trees 🙄

Fe345fleur · 21/08/2022 15:49

Blackdiame · 21/08/2022 13:43

I'd let her putthe fence up then take out the Bush but I'm pretty like that.

😄 do this!

Fe345fleur · 21/08/2022 15:54

But in all seriousness, if you wanted it gone anyway maybe try not to see it as her winning. She'll find something else to focus on anyway if you remove the bush or not. Do what you want and ignore that she got involved at all, she sounds cracked.

Surtsey · 21/08/2022 16:02

If she puts a fence up around the front garden, it will become a leaf magnet as soon as there are a few autumnal gusts. The leaves from the whole area will all blow into her garden and won't be able to get blown out again due to the fence in the way.

She sounds like a bit of a fruit cake, so I wouldn't pander to her whims.

ShedThirtySeven · 21/08/2022 18:19

@SmithfamilyRobinson

Yes - the fence she’s had put up in the back garden is the wrong way round - struts facing us!

We’ve left the bush today. We’ll just have to deal with a front fence.

No, I’m not going to pander. My policy has been to ignore, and try to stay off her radar as much as possible.

Thanks for your input everyone!

OP posts:
stayinghometoday · 21/08/2022 20:20

Why don't you put up your own fence? At least you can then choose what it looks like and it saves having to lisren to her complaints bevause there's a fence now so nothing more you can do to stop a leaf falling on her property.

choochooandspook · 21/08/2022 20:34

SmithfamilyRobinson · 21/08/2022 15:40

Are you me?! Our neighbour dislikes leaves too... she put a high fence up along the detached side - the wrong way so we have the ugly strutts. The workmen trashed our flower beds putting it in. Mercifully we no longer have to speak to her due to the fence now but she wants us to prune a tree on the corner of our property which we'll probably agree to in case she gets a random workman up a ladder with a chainsaw. Everyone round here is OBSESSED with cutting all the big trees 🙄

why would you expect to get the good side if your neighbour paid to have it put up, why is it the wrong way? if they paid for it they can have it any side they like.

ItsSnowJokes · 21/08/2022 20:34

I would let her put the fence up and then remove bush like a PP said. I'm petty though.

Also those saying the wrong side of the fence. There is no wrong side of the fence. If your neighbour paid for the fence they can have whatever side they want. Some give the neighbour the nice side out of courtesy but there is no legal obligation too. We had new fences put in last year and paid a hell of a lot for them and damn right I'm getting the nice side!

choochooandspook · 21/08/2022 20:41

ShedThirtySeven · 21/08/2022 18:19

@SmithfamilyRobinson

Yes - the fence she’s had put up in the back garden is the wrong way round - struts facing us!

We’ve left the bush today. We’ll just have to deal with a front fence.

No, I’m not going to pander. My policy has been to ignore, and try to stay off her radar as much as possible.

Thanks for your input everyone!

its the right way to the person who has had it put up and paid for it, or did you pay half for it?

ChittyChittyBoomBoom · 21/08/2022 20:45

stuntbubbles · 21/08/2022 15:34

I would put in six or seven more bushes. Every time she makes a complaint or does something mental: another bush. I would out-petty her until the day I drowned in shrubbery rather than dig up a plant because of its LEAVES

Brilliant, that made me snort 🤣🤣🤣.

HEPolicy · 21/08/2022 20:47

She can't just wack up 9feet fences, she'll need permission for over 6"6 (I think, may well be wrong!!)

GinIronic · 21/08/2022 20:51

Let her put the fence up because it’s a well known fact that this will protect you from any form
of debris floating onto your property 🙄. Don’t destroy your bush just because she has asked you to. People like her will never be happy - you comply with this request and she will find something else to moan about. You cannot reason with the unreasonable.

KosherDill · 21/08/2022 20:58

ItsSnowJokes · 21/08/2022 20:34

I would let her put the fence up and then remove bush like a PP said. I'm petty though.

Also those saying the wrong side of the fence. There is no wrong side of the fence. If your neighbour paid for the fence they can have whatever side they want. Some give the neighbour the nice side out of courtesy but there is no legal obligation too. We had new fences put in last year and paid a hell of a lot for them and damn right I'm getting the nice side!

Where I live it's required that the more attractive side of fence panels face outward.