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Original poster

Is it worth calling him out, or just block/delete?

50 replies

bamboo1234 · 20/08/2022 11:20

we dated last year but things ended because of big lifestyle differences, mainly involving our jobs - he had to travel loads for work and it made it difficult for us to see each other regularly. He got back in touch with me earlier this year in January, spoke about wanting us to start seeing each other again, and explained he was travelling less for work now.

we started seeing each other and agreed to be exclusive; but after a few months he started going hot and cold on me at random. I tried to discuss this with him, he turned it onto me and tried to make out I was being intense and needy for expecting consistency. Eventually he apologised and I thought we’d moved on from it.

he has gone cold again now, after we spent a lovely weekend together. Just radio silence, ignoring me completely for days on end, and being really abrupt and unfriendly when we do speak.

I know it’s over, but I’m debating if it’s worth calling him out before I block and delete. I’m feeling quite annoyed about it and would probably feel momentarily better if I tell him he’s an arse, but I’m not sure if it’s a better idea to just delete him and not bother with a discussion.

WWYD?

thanks in advance!

OP posts:
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 20/08/2022 11:26

I think he's an arse with whom you'll never win. He does what he likes, sometimes talks the talk but never walks the walk and gets to be annoyed at your perfectly normal expectations of consistency. He's a time waster, throw him back in the pond.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 20/08/2022 11:27

Block and delete. Do not bother with such types. Best revenge is to live well.

RubiesandRose · 20/08/2022 11:29

Delete and move on, he hasn't taken any notice of what's important to you before so why would he now.

No one needs a man like this in their life, so leave him to it and find someone who appreciates you!

pictish · 20/08/2022 11:31

You’ve made yourself clear so I don’t see any use in stating your case again. You are quite right in wanting to end it. I would just do so.

This isn’t working for me. Good luck in the future.

Finito. Block.

FlyingSaucerss · 20/08/2022 11:35

I would just block, you won’t feel better by “calling him out” he will probably ignore you which will be worse

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 20/08/2022 11:36

Block him. Don’t engage.

He knows fine his behaviour is that of a knob. Telling him isn’t going to change that.

Move on. Go for an upgrade. Be happy.

ThanksAntsThants · 20/08/2022 11:36

Just block and delete. he clearly doesn’t care very much about you, he wants you to care but he doesn’t want to have to, so don’t give him the ego boost of signing off by telling him how he’s hurt you.

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 20/08/2022 11:36

Just walk away. No matter the whys and wherefores he isn't making you happy. So sod him.

Block. Delete. Ignore

Minikievs · 20/08/2022 11:37

I have had similar from someone I was seeing for a few months. I kept asking and trying to find out what the problem was. He never answered, as actually the problem was that he was an arse hole.
It limped on much longer than it should've.
The anxiety and the knot in my stomach disappeared once I had mentally made the break from him.
He then came crawling back about a month later, once it became chest I'd moved on.
It's not worth trying to get an answer, you won't, and it'll just be a waste of your time and emotions.
Block and delete, you deserve better

ThisWormHasTurned · 20/08/2022 11:38

Delete and block says more than any cutting message you can think of!

sleepymum50 · 20/08/2022 11:44

I don’t know, but I’ve not done OLD.

I think I would send him a message, but something dignified and unemotional. But my main aim would be to make sure he doesn’t think he can resurrect the relationship in the future.

Watchkeys · 20/08/2022 12:00

ThisWormHasTurned · 20/08/2022 11:38

Delete and block says more than any cutting message you can think of!

Definitely. Silence is loud.

Undecidedandtorn · 20/08/2022 12:02

Do you mean should you tell him its over and then block and delete him? Or just block and delete him without telling him?

CookPassBabtridge · 20/08/2022 12:11

Silence is dignity and more infuriating for them, shows him you're indifferent,

minticecreamisjustok · 20/08/2022 12:13

Block and keep it that way! no more chances, on/off situations never work out.

WatieKatie · 20/08/2022 12:16

I’d definitely ignore him when he decides to get back in touch. If you call him out he will simply turn it on to you, like he’s done previously, and you will be left feeling even more frustrating.

He sounds like a game player and you sound incredibly switched on. You deserve better.

Sunnytwobridges · 20/08/2022 13:08

I’m one of those people that have to get stuff off my chest so I would have to tell him about himself. Then I would immediately block and delete so I’m not waiting for a reply.

Tortycats · 20/08/2022 13:10

Don't give him the joy of seeing you care. Silence is dignity. Block and delete

Rottenpumpkin · 20/08/2022 13:20

Just ghost him.

Aquamarine1029 · 20/08/2022 13:23

What is this fixation with "calling out" badly behaved men on mn? He won't give a single fuck about what you have to say and you'll only make a fool of yourself.

Keep your dignity and just block him.

FlyingSaucerss · 20/08/2022 13:25

Definitely, even sending it and quickly blocking, he will laugh at you, why bother

YoSofi · 20/08/2022 13:51

Aquamarine1029 · 20/08/2022 13:23

What is this fixation with "calling out" badly behaved men on mn? He won't give a single fuck about what you have to say and you'll only make a fool of yourself.

Keep your dignity and just block him.

It’s not about whether they give a fuck or not, why shouldn’t women call out bad behaviour?

Nobody has to accept this bullshit, it’s ok to tell him about himself before blocking AS LONG as the OP isn’t hoping to get him to see what a prick he is and make false promises of change.

Part of the problem is that nobody ever stands up to dicks like that.

UseOfWeapons · 20/08/2022 13:59

In the old days (1980s), a feminist group I used to belong to would hand out little cards for situations like these, and many others, that read, ‘ You’ve just offended me as a woman. How would you feel if someone did this to your mother, sister, or daughter?’ And then just walk away.
I’d be tempted to message him this, then block him. He’s an arse.

Buildingthefuture · 20/08/2022 14:05

Well, I agree with both @Aquamarine1029 and @YoSofi He absolutely will not give a fuck if you call him out, but you are well within your rights to do it! If more people (both men and women) were held accountable for their actions, I think the world would be a better place. Common decency seems to have vanished along with reasonable fuel prices……or maybe, long before that!

DatingDinosaur · 20/08/2022 14:07

I think I’d just say, look this isn’t working out between us. We were right to give it a second go because now we know for sure that we’re not right for each other – at least we’re not left wondering this time and there’s no point dragging this out any longer so it ends up causing further resentment.

I know what you mean about wanting to rant at him for basically going back on his word and turning it round on you but past experience has taught me that the “victory” is usually short lived and leaves a bitter taste in the mouth.

I wouldn’t block and delete though unless he became nasty or stalkerish about it.

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