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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Ex blocked me.......

37 replies

gladiatorready · 15/08/2022 16:48

We broke up (narcissistic ex) he put me through hell and back.
When questioned with why he did things and once I found out the truth he blocked me on WhatsApp.
He left me on all social media.
After a week I removed him from it all..Facebook /Instagram /Snapchat.

After the dust had settled after a month I messaged him on messenger (once again me apologising )
He responded straight away.
Basically saying "I could of easily blocked you on everything but I didn't -I chose not too
Don't you think if I had really wanted too I would have just blocked you-I didn't want too
I bet you feel silly now for deleting me off everything

Why didn't he just delete /block me off everything?
What does he mean ?

OP posts:
Fizzgigg · 15/08/2022 16:49

Who the fuck cares? He's an ex. Stop messaging him

Chewbecca · 15/08/2022 16:50

Don’t know, don’t care, never have any interaction with him again or give him a moment of your headspace.

OwlNoisesInHerFace · 15/08/2022 16:53

Why didn't he just delete /block me off everything?

Where would the fun be in it for him if he did that? If he deletes/blocks you, then you can't send him messages, I assume he's expecting you to grovel and try to get back with him. It's all basically just to continue messing with your head as much as he can.

You need to block him on everything, including fb messenger, forget him and move on. You will never get a straight answer from him or any type of closure.

Featuredcreature · 15/08/2022 16:54

He's playing silly games. He wants the upper hand at all times is my guess. By deceivlng and blocking and only choosing to reply when he so wishes, this is what he is achieving.

Campervangirl · 15/08/2022 16:54

He's an ex, don't message him, he's not going to give you closure.
Good for for blocking him.
He blocked you on WhatsApp because he didn't want to discuss anything with you, he didn't block you on SM because he wanted you to see how great his life is without you and to probably spy on what you're up to.
Drop it now, it's over 💐

Purpleavocado · 15/08/2022 16:55

Why are you messaging him? Stop apologising to someone who has treated you badly and move on.

Featuredcreature · 15/08/2022 16:56

He's a headfucker, and if he's at all like the one I know he tells you this without telling you this every 10 minutes (he thinks he's so slick, but by God he's a div)

GreyCarpet · 15/08/2022 16:57

He's feeding your drama. He doesn't mean anything. It's just words he can say to get you in a tiz.

Stop messaging him and looking for his drama and he'll stop providing it for you.

JulesCobb · 15/08/2022 17:01

YOU don't like his behaviour. HE put you through hell and back. And you apologised to him? For what? Not liking being treated like crap?

Why do you want contact with him?

you need to be single and have counselling, or you will end up with another abusive narcissist who you cannot so easily escape from.

Pinkbonbon · 15/08/2022 17:05

Why are you appologising to him if you know he is a narcissist? Heck, why are why are asking why a narcissist is does narcissist things? And why are you apologising to someone who "put you through hell' ?

Block him. Take back your power. And never talk to him again?

Stop asking yourself why psychopaths do what they do. Start asking yourself why the fuck you keep in contact with them. Because that's a you problem. You know he is a nutcase a and yet you're still chasing after his approval. You need to check yourself before you wreck yourself!

Block him.

Pinkbonbon · 15/08/2022 17:06

*why are you asking why a narcissist does narcissist things?

shazzybazzy34 · 15/08/2022 17:49

Let
It
Go.

layladomino · 15/08/2022 18:29

Bearing in mind what you know of him (and you've told us he's a narcisist who put you through hell) which option sounds like him....

a) He genuinely loves you and couldn't bear the thought of not being with you, and wanted to leave a door open so you could return, and he could apologise, and spend the rest of his days making it up to you, treating you with respect and love and being a lovely supportive partner OR
b) He's a selfish, cruel, manipulative man who enjoys messing with you head, and wanted to test you and see how long before you came crawling back and begging his forgiveness, so he can have his ego massaged and mess with your head all over again.

You know it's b) don't you?

Cactuslove · 15/08/2022 18:49

gladiatorready · 15/08/2022 16:48

We broke up (narcissistic ex) he put me through hell and back.
When questioned with why he did things and once I found out the truth he blocked me on WhatsApp.
He left me on all social media.
After a week I removed him from it all..Facebook /Instagram /Snapchat.

After the dust had settled after a month I messaged him on messenger (once again me apologising )
He responded straight away.
Basically saying "I could of easily blocked you on everything but I didn't -I chose not too
Don't you think if I had really wanted too I would have just blocked you-I didn't want too
I bet you feel silly now for deleting me off everything

Why didn't he just delete /block me off everything?
What does he mean ?

If he had blocked you on everything ypu wouldn't be asking yourself thwae questions now and he wouldn't have bene able to enter your head space again. So that's the reason why. He's playing with you- like my toddler plays with his food. Irritating and unnecessary.

Cactuslove · 15/08/2022 18:50

Sorry for the typos. When will mumsnet get an edit button!

AgnestaVipers · 15/08/2022 18:51

What on earth are you chasing him about for? You got rid of a narc - now steer clear!

youlightupmyday · 15/08/2022 18:55

Walk away. The sooner you do so, the sooner you will happy

guiltyab · 15/08/2022 19:36

Fizzgigg · 15/08/2022 16:49

Who the fuck cares? He's an ex. Stop messaging him

@Fizzgigg comments like this are so unhelpful. It’s precisely because he’s an ex that @gladiatorready cares.

He’s left you ublocked in the hope you would message him and to not show any emotion - to block you would be emotive. That’s my guess.

not sure where you are up to with messaging him but honestly, I would put good money on the fact that if you sent a message saying ‘Id just hoped we could have a catch up. No worries :-)’ …. THAT would mess with his head. You have to mean it though, ie don’t think about it again no matter what he says next and no matter if he doesn’t reply. You have sent a final message suggesting you were interested in talking and have shut it down yourself, very calmly and pleasantly - yes there’s a bit of a game here and it is genuinely only worth doing if you make yourself leave it after sending the message, but these people thrive off controlling you and that kind of message will really fuck with him.

GreyCarpet · 15/08/2022 19:51

guiltyab · 15/08/2022 19:36

@Fizzgigg comments like this are so unhelpful. It’s precisely because he’s an ex that @gladiatorready cares.

He’s left you ublocked in the hope you would message him and to not show any emotion - to block you would be emotive. That’s my guess.

not sure where you are up to with messaging him but honestly, I would put good money on the fact that if you sent a message saying ‘Id just hoped we could have a catch up. No worries :-)’ …. THAT would mess with his head. You have to mean it though, ie don’t think about it again no matter what he says next and no matter if he doesn’t reply. You have sent a final message suggesting you were interested in talking and have shut it down yourself, very calmly and pleasantly - yes there’s a bit of a game here and it is genuinely only worth doing if you make yourself leave it after sending the message, but these people thrive off controlling you and that kind of message will really fuck with him.

Show quote history

That's really, really bad advice.

Fizzgigg · 15/08/2022 19:58

GreyCarpet · 15/08/2022 19:51

That's really, really bad advice.

Show quote history

Yep. This bloke is a narcissist. Engaging in more game playing is absolutely awful advice and will only wreck the OPs head, not his. Block and never contact him again is the only sensible thing to do. There's no point at all in trying to figure out what he's thinking or why he does anything.

JamieNorthlife · 15/08/2022 20:18

Why didn't he just delete /block me off everything?
What does he mean ?

Its time to move on.

Original poster
gladiatorready · 15/08/2022 20:44

I do know I need to move on I really do
I just can't understand how he thinks
If you want nothing to do with me
Block me everywhere _then I can't contact you
Why leave a channel open
I don't understand

OP posts:
JamieNorthlife · 15/08/2022 20:51

gladiatorready · 15/08/2022 20:44

I do know I need to move on I really do
I just can't understand how he thinks
If you want nothing to do with me
Block me everywhere _then I can't contact you
Why leave a channel open
I don't understand

Thats part of his manipulative games.

You should never try and understand how he or anyone thinks. You need to learn from his behaviour and get away as far as you can. If you dwell on this act of manipulation you are letting him take your power away. It's hard, but you need to snap out of this for your own good. Ask a friend to help you or have some therapy.

Understand who you are and learn to respect yourself.

Cherchezlaspice · 15/08/2022 20:54

Stop trying to understand. There’s nothing to be gained from it and you’re demeaning yourself.

Block, delete and move on with your life.

JulesCobb · 15/08/2022 20:56

gladiatorready · 15/08/2022 20:44

I do know I need to move on I really do
I just can't understand how he thinks
If you want nothing to do with me
Block me everywhere _then I can't contact you
Why leave a channel open
I don't understand

because it does this to you.