Ex blocked me.......

[gladiatorready]

We broke up (narcissistic ex) he put me through hell and back.
When questioned with why he did things and once I found out the truth he blocked me on WhatsApp.
He left me on all social media.
After a week I removed him from it all..Facebook /Instagram /Snapchat.

After the dust had settled after a month I messaged him on messenger (once again me apologising )
He responded straight away.
Basically saying "I could of easily blocked you on everything but I didn't -I chose not too
Don't you think if I had really wanted too I would have just blocked you-I didn't want too
I bet you feel silly now for deleting me off everything

Why didn't he just delete /block me off everything?
What does he mean ?

Someone has already explained. He left it open for you to contact him if you wanted to. Not because he wants to hear from you bit so he could laugh at you and have his ego massaged.

It's not compulsory to block someone not to contact someone who hasn't blocked you. There are a number of people I no longer speak to but haven't blocked because I'm not a teenager. I have no idea whether they've blocked me or not because I've not tried to contact them.

Why all this importance placed on it? Do you need to understand? Does it matter if you don't understand? No.

Op you sound quite naive.

It sounds like you're hoping the answer is that he didn't block you because he does really want to be with you.

But you must know really that's not the case. It's so you can see what's he's up to to make you jealous. So you can contact him and massage his ego.

Even more importantly, you shouldn't want it to be. You said he treated badly, why would you want him back?

Please delete and block everywhere and focus on healing yourself

Good luck.

I hope you get over him because he doesn't sound very nice.

Do whatever you can to stop the thoughts.

He is an ex. You are finished. Have some self respect and ignore him and focus on the future without him.

I think the thing you need to think about is why you messaged someone who you say put you to hell and back?

of course he wants you to message him. He’ll love that you messaged him even after having treated you badly.

again though, I think the think to reflect on on why you messaged him and why you are thinking so much about why he ain’t block you.

I do know I need to move on I really do
I just can't understand how he thinks

You may never understand it. You need to assume you never will, and move on anyway

Exactly. Move on and stop playing games.

You reached out to him to apologise. You got back in touch even though he put you through "hell and back". You're now wondering why he didn't block you on everything. You say "If you want nothing to do with me, Block me everywhere _then I can't contact you" - suggesting that you need him to block you or else you'll be in touch with him again.

Honestly? It sounds like you want people to say that he's still into you. It sounds as if you want people to say that he's left a channel open deliberately so you can still have contact. You don't sound like you've let this relationship go even though you say he took you to hell and back. You sound hurt that he blocked you and you sound as if you can't let this go.

I promise I'm not trying to be unkind. But it sounds as if he's loving this, loving the control, and you're still being jerked on his string. For your own sake you need to delete him, block him and then resolve never to have contact again. If you find that hard, imagine yourself as a female friend/relative and imagine them in your situation. What would you tell them to do?

I think I got that used to apologising
I just wanted him to regret how he treated me or realise how he treated me was wrong
That will never happen because he doesn't think he's done wrong and doesn't have the capacity to care that he hurts people
Me reaching out to him I was hoping he would then apologise -in the clear light of day that would never ever happen

You thought apologising would make him regret how he treated you? How?

Have you blocked and deleted this person, yet?

Presumably she thought- if I apologies to him, he will to me. Because that's how normal people are.

She keeps hoping he has that capacity, like a normal person. But he doesn't. And it's hard to get your head around the idea that someone you once loved, doesn't have any empathy. Let alone for someone he was supposed to give a shit about.

Never waste time trying to show kindness and compromise with a narcissist op. It won't won't them nicer to you. It won't make them meet you half way. It just makes them see you as weak. And they attack weakness. Like sharks smelling blood in the water.

They like to kick you when you are down.

He leaves the channel open so he can use you and drop you when he feels like it. For narcissists, knowing they still have a hold on you and are able to have you back if they want is fuel for them. You're stroking his ego by contacting him.

Put the shoe on the other foot. You have a partner you treat badly and they let you. You have no respect for them and get away with whatever you want. It starts to get a bit much so you block him because you can't be bothered to deal with all the shit or questions anymore, but you know they aren't actually done and you leave one channel open where you can pick and choose when you talk to him and knowing if you feed him a little crumb he won't get so hungry he'll go elsewhere and therefore he's still within your remit of control.

Block him on everything and do not contact him again or you'll never get your life back.