Not entirely sure what he's lookong for?

[Confuzled24]

Hi.. I'm a little confused and potentially reading into this wrong..

My friends friend asked me out for a coffee a few weeks back. He and I met and chatted for a few hours then parted for the day. I got a message a few hours later saying how much he enjoyed my company, and could we meet again at my earliest convenience so he could take me to dinner. I declined, I was happy with cuppa now and again and being a mate, and told him I wasn't interested anymore than being friends.
He said he understood and looked forward to catching up again soon.
He messaged last week to ask me out for coffee, and I said I'd get back to him which I did, saying that I can't make this week as my dad is unwell, but could catch up the following week. He queried my dad, and I told him it was to do with mental health. He then said blokes find it easier to chat to other blokes and suggested perhaps he and I meet up along with my mum and dad and my two boys as it might help my dad to talk if theres another bloke there who's a friend of his daughter.
I just thanked him and said I'd keep it in mind and left the text conversation there.
Thus morning I got this message..

Hiya, look I hope you don't think I was being pushy and using your dad as an excuse to see you, I truly was trying to help. When I asked you out for dinner, it was to spend time with a beautiful, sexy, intelligent and lovely lady. To be totally honest, I am not looking for a romantic relationship or even a sexual one for that matter, for reasons I don't really want to discuss.
But I am quite lonely and I know that's probably my fault. I don't like to go to places, walks or do very much on my own, but I do love doing them with company. I would love to do the aforementioned with you because you seem a happy person and I like your company.
Well that's what I was going to say had we been able to meet on Wednesday this week. My offer of help with your father is sincere but I won't mention again unless you ask.
Hopefully we can meet up soon. S x

I've not a clue how to take this, or how to respond. I appreciate he feels lonely and he enjoys my company, but it all feels a bit full on?
Any insight, suggestions or advice would be most welcome x

I would be inclined to block him; way too much from someone you’re not even interested in

He sounds weird. Definitely pushy trying to meet your unwell Dad, and then to send that message after? If he doesn't want a relationship why compliment you in that way? He probably wants to lead you on for attention. Run!

it all feels a bit full on

Respect your feelings. Don't question them. If it's too full on for you, that's your feelings telling you that you need to pull back. Does it really matter what he's looking for? You're not keen on what he's actually doing, so understanding/meeting his needs would be much lower down your priority list than getting away from Mr Full On, I'd have thought?

Personally I think that he's not taking no for an answer and is trying a different tatic. I'd block him. He's going to be a pan in the arse.

He's trying to ingratiate his way into your affections.

It's a big red flag. Basically he's not taking no for an answer, and I'd think that he was going to try to get in there by being an indispensable person to rely on.

Once he's got you to change your mind about him, he'll probably turn out to be a complete arsehole

That's a very odd suggestion. I think I'd swerve any future coffee dates

Oh wow, that is full on and would absolutely give me major red flag ick vibes. I'd just ignore it tbh, and politely decline any future offers to meet up without getting into reasons or conversation.

He's going to drag you into some kind of drama. I think it would be best for him to hang out with other guys who won't have to put up with the mixed messages.

He tells you you're "beautiful and sexy" yet doesn't want a sexual relationship? Sure. He's just not taking no for an answer, and his whole approach is creepy and screeching with red flags. You've met once and he asks to meet with your parents? Ick.

I'd block the fuck out of him.

I’d just ignore that message. Bizarrely over familiar and pushy. Just don’t reply and if necessary block.

l think he is trying to make an effort to get to know you, which appears to be quite a rarity on this forum. If he had said he isn't looking for a romantic or sexual relationship without adding that he thinks you are sexy, etc, it would be easy to jump to the conclusion that he doesn't find you attractive. l would give him a chance, go for another coffee, you maybe pleasantly surprised.
How well does your friend know him, has he had previous healthy relationships ?

Also meant to say alot of people shy away from MH issues, he' s right, men do need to open up to other men, the stigma of shame needs to be removed.

Strange. If he was just looking for the company of a nice person then why would it matter that you're beautiful and sexy. I think that's quite telling.

This all day long... just to much, to full on and manipulative.

Thank you all for your replies.. its really helpful.

Thank you for helping me to look at this from various different point of view. I can hear that he is feeling lonely, but it is all very full on and quite pushy, and a for me an uncomfortable read.

I was happy to be a friend and catch up now and again before this message from him, but with his mixed message, my discomfort with it, and having taken in to consideration the views you've all kindly shared, I have blocked him.

Thanks again :)

He sounds like he’s either a basket case, completely lacking in emotional intelligence, or is just a creep who’s really not very good at being manipulative.

Or all three.

And he’s going to open up to some rando who’s sniffing around his daughter?

I had one try this.

Because you won't give them a relationship, they ask for a pseudo-relationship as that's all they hope to get from you (at this time.)

It's quite cringe really and also made me uncomfortable when it happened to me.

His suggestion with your dad was ridiculous given how little you know him. He sounds like the type that might profess undying love at any minute when he's only just met you.

I don't think I would message him again in your position.

I would steer clear. He’s making you uncomfortable. You don’t owe him anything. To me it sounds like he’s trying to flatter and guilt you into seeing him. Not on. He’s asked, you’ve declined. He doesn’t need to push you and talk about your father who he doesn’t even know!

He just friend zoned himself. In the hope that he appears non threatening so he can work on you from the inside.

Nope. You've done the right thing op.

I think if you met him again, you would never get rid of him.

Major "nice guy" vibes from this guy. Glad you blocked him

Totally agree!

Feel a bit sad reading this post with everyone yelling 'red flags' and condemning this poor man to the weirdos bin.

Why are so many such hard-nosed cynics without an ounce of tolerance for any man that might make a less than perfect move, expression of interest or attempt to even strike up a mere friendship with the opposite sex etc?

Reading these posts and accompanied misandrist barbs in the replies often leaves me feeling that the vast majority of women on MN view men all too suspiciously.

If the OP enjoyed his company and his credentials check out, why not live dangerously and consider another meet up? What on earth is wrong by openess from the opposite sex? Cripes what a sorry state of affairs. In our swipe left or right society, when did we lose patience and decency towards one another? His actions can hardly be considered as love bombing or manipulative.

Have you never had a gut feeling about someone @Marmitemother?