Not entirely sure what he's lookong for?

[Confuzled24]

Hi.. I'm a little confused and potentially reading into this wrong..

My friends friend asked me out for a coffee a few weeks back. He and I met and chatted for a few hours then parted for the day. I got a message a few hours later saying how much he enjoyed my company, and could we meet again at my earliest convenience so he could take me to dinner. I declined, I was happy with cuppa now and again and being a mate, and told him I wasn't interested anymore than being friends.
He said he understood and looked forward to catching up again soon.
He messaged last week to ask me out for coffee, and I said I'd get back to him which I did, saying that I can't make this week as my dad is unwell, but could catch up the following week. He queried my dad, and I told him it was to do with mental health. He then said blokes find it easier to chat to other blokes and suggested perhaps he and I meet up along with my mum and dad and my two boys as it might help my dad to talk if theres another bloke there who's a friend of his daughter.
I just thanked him and said I'd keep it in mind and left the text conversation there.
Thus morning I got this message..

Hiya, look I hope you don't think I was being pushy and using your dad as an excuse to see you, I truly was trying to help. When I asked you out for dinner, it was to spend time with a beautiful, sexy, intelligent and lovely lady. To be totally honest, I am not looking for a romantic relationship or even a sexual one for that matter, for reasons I don't really want to discuss.
But I am quite lonely and I know that's probably my fault. I don't like to go to places, walks or do very much on my own, but I do love doing them with company. I would love to do the aforementioned with you because you seem a happy person and I like your company.
Well that's what I was going to say had we been able to meet on Wednesday this week. My offer of help with your father is sincere but I won't mention again unless you ask.
Hopefully we can meet up soon. S x

I've not a clue how to take this, or how to respond. I appreciate he feels lonely and he enjoys my company, but it all feels a bit full on?
Any insight, suggestions or advice would be most welcome x

I think he sounds sweet. If it were me I would give him a second chance.

Maybe op can give him your number then!

You think it's sweet that a man she's had a coffee with once has suggested he meet with her parents and children to help her dad with his mental health issues?

You genuinely think that's sweet rather than overstepping boundaries to a ridiculous degree?

Goodness.

🤦

@CandyLeBonBon Yes of course, but OP is receiving such damming and judgemental opinions from others when none are in a position not having met the man to even form a gut feeling.

@wellhelloitsme

Perhaps he hasn't read the MN bible on what is considered 'overstepping' boundaries and is just being genuinely friendly. Of course OP has taken MN advice, swiped left and confined him to the bin.

Perhaps he hasn't read the MN bible on what is considered 'overstepping' boundaries and is just being genuinely friendly.

You don't need to 'read the MN bible' to think that after meeting for coffee once, suggesting he meet with her parents and children to help her dad with his mental health issues is completely inappropriate.

Which it is.

If you went for coffee with a man who you then made it clear you only wanted to be friends with and he then messaged you saying you were beautiful and sexy, then asked to meet your children and parents, you would honestly think that was 'friendly' rather than inappropriate?

But the OP was the one who just felt he was a bit ott and full on. She felt uncomfortable. That gut feeling you have when something feels off but you can't put your finger on it.

The OP felt that.
Which is why she's posting here.

Looks like he might have some time available for coffee if you are so concerned about his feelings?

Gut feelings are formed as a result of previous life experience and emotional intelligence. How do we know that OP's opinion and thoughts are on the ball on this occasion ( no disrespect OP) and not skewed by previous negative life experiences?

I agree he seems a bit OTT as she rebuffed his advances and of course she is better appraised of the situation having met him than we are but on the other hand he may just be offering the hand of friendship and nothing more sinister. It is well known that despite the great advances in ease of communication (mobile phone, email etc) reportedly we all claim to be lonelier than ever before.

I'd be more concerned at a stranger being in the company of my children when visiting their grandparents, however well intentioned his suggestion of talking with OP's depressed father.

Agree with this

Just seen that you’ve blocked him - made me feel sad, seems to me he is reaching out and trying to make a friend.
MN is always assuming a hidden (sexual) agenda - but not all men are like that, some really are nice and genuine people.

But - agree that you have to trust your gut instinct OP - I just hope that is what you’ve done (rather than listen to the distrustful vipers on here?)

Hope your dad is ok

Marmitemother "His actions can hardly be considered as love bombing or manipulative."

are you sure?

1. trying to meet a sick parent
2. calling OP beautiful and sexy but allegedly just wanting friendship

i hope your father is okay, OP.

@Marmitemother @RunningBubble @Moonface123

Seriously?
Maybe (maybe!) the guy is being genuine, in his own deeply cringey David Brent way, and really is lonely, and if that’s the case I feel awful for him. That’s a very bad place to be. But it’s absolutely not the OPs problem, and frankly his overstepping perfectly normal and sane boundaries (amongst which I include the suggestion of this sexual rthat he’s not interested in🙄) are plenty reason enough for OP to cut this guy loose. It’s not her job to be his emotional crutch/dumping ground.

*sexual relationship that he’s not interested

mumsnet could really do with an edit button