I (29 F) was dating a guy I met on Bumble (33M) for two months. We got into a bit of an argument over text at the weekend. I told him he wasn’t really making much of an effort with me/his communication had been off because he’d gone away for the weekend and hadn’t mentioned anything about it beforehand. I had hoped to see him at the weekend.
My Bumble profile was on pause (I thought this was going somewhere) but I’d noticed that his profile was still active had been logging into the app. I was disappointed to see that he’d logged into the app in the city he was visiting, and brought it up, saying that it made me so unsure of where we stood. I told him my app had been paused for ages.
instead of talking to me about it, he shut the conversation down , saying he was tired and then he ignored me for three days. When he came back from the trip, he texted me saying it was over .
I was really upset and called him to talk things over. He said that he’d failed an important exam at work that has the potential to jeopardise his career - if he fails his resits, his job will essentially be over. He said he had realised after our argument that it was going to be very difficult juggling a relationship plus all the work needed to pass his resits and didn’t have the energy or capacity to devote time to both.
is this an excuse? In the past I have felt like people I have dated who are going through exams or difficult times have just found a way to make it work , and have been really clear about availability to manage expectations. Plus, there’s the issue of him logging into apps. He claims he can’t devote time to a relationship , but then why would he be constantly on the apps?