I want to leave DH but don’t have a reason

[oneHundredpercent10]

DH is the best father to our children. He has always treated me great, works hard but I just feel like something is missing. I don’t fancy him any more, don’t want sex, don’t want to do anything with him, everything irritates me. I don’t know if I could even afford to leave. I feel sick writing this but just feel like I am wasting my life. I’ve felt like this for about 3 years but go through phases of thinking it will pass. I would ruin his life if I told him, what about dc it would ruin them? I’m in such a mess

Hi OP

You say that he is the best father to your children. And that you have no reason to leave.

Then you say that he never supported you through your PND, and that your career suffered because childcare always fell on you...so he wasnt doing his share.

So, actually, you have got reason to be pissed off, it sounds like he didnt support you emotionally (with the pnd) or practically (by doing his share of childcare). This isnt a 'best' father, it's a sub par father.

Anyway the positive is, that you have solid reasons to feel like this and its logical you would feel put off him, as you couldnt rely on him, he has really let you down. I say positive as if he ever understood, acknowledged this and changed his behaviour going forward, there is a chance you may feel differently, (or it may be the damage is already done)

But there may be something that you can both work with in therapy, if you both want to. Have you spoken to him about this?

Sorry, no I thought you were saying the opposite of that! I agree with you. But some of the other comments seemed to suggest that if you are the one calling time on a relationship then you should be moving out and limiting the amount of time you have with your children.