Husband has Mental health problems and says he sees people?

[lovethehighlands]

My DH used to be a martial artists (besides his busy job as a carpenter and father to two of our gorgeous little boys). He really turned this hobby into an intense passion and got my boys involved but I tried but didn't take to it.

he used to train intensely 5 days a week, taking throws on his body, knocks to his head, coming back home from "Wednesday night" also known as fight night in his place black and blue all over.
he stopped just before the pandemic, sometimes it would get a bit too much when he travelled places even abroad and sometimes he turned it into a holiday for us when we went with him. But many a nights were spent alone.
anyway the pandemic has ruined everything. His class came crashing to an end and its had a devastating impact.
His work has suffered and does the minimum. He would put huge amounts of effort into refining his skills on the mat which translated to his day job. something to do with japanese philosophy?

anyway rambling on the knocks on his head, kicks etc i reckon and losing his mates and connection has made him delusional, angry and extremely depressed. Tonight he was sitting on the chair and he didn't know i was their and he was talking to himself. seems like he's reliving the happy days again.

He was saying his mates name and talking to him (most who i know for years). i've noticed this other times sounds in the toilet i crept up to the locked door and he was like he was talking to his mate in the toilet. however his phone was in bedroom.

sometimes i notice him in the evening once the boys have gone to bed sitting their staring into something like is imagining he's in another place. he doesnt smile anymore. rarely when before he was like a cheshire cat when he walked through the door.

i said to him what is it. He said "Wales 2014". he was talking about the summer when he won this top award after several days of competition.
all his mates have moved in all over. All the classes in the area have shut as things aren't affordable to run. The other places he attended have even scaled back.
i don't want to get him committed. He isn't violent todays me but he has shown outburst to things when he's been alone. He punched a wall, he was shouting at his car. Where has that once smiling happy confident man gone.

He wouldn't necessarily be committed anywhere if he's safe. But it sounds like he quite obviously needs help. Can you contact the GP or mental health services in the area? These aren't good signs and really, you don't want him to lose complete connection with reality. He needs some input I think.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It must be awful.

What a horrible time for you both.
Have you had a conversation with each other where either of you have acknowledged the delusions? It sounds like he needs a professional mental health assessment - do you know where to call?

I think he needs immediate professional help

This. Sounds like schizophrenia to me and you won't be able to fix that

thank you all. i think because this was his entire life even an obsession its hit him extremely hard. i dont know how his mates coped. One guy his bestie who he trained with came over ( i secretly called him over and told him what was going on) he was perfectly fine, took him alone for a few drinks but my DH has really taken it hard

OP you need to call 111 now and ask what to do. He needs help. His behaviour isn't normal. Not to unduly worry you but it could escalate at an unpredictable moment and I wouldn't want that to happen to you or your precious children.

Has he actually told you that he sees people, op? When he’s speaking out loud as though he’s having a conversation, it doesn’t necessarily mean he actually thinks his mates are there. If he doesn’t think anyones listening, maybe he’s just giving voice to an internal dialogue in which he is ‘rehearsing’ what he would say if he had back his old life and connections he craves. All the things you’ve mentioned could be a sign of depression and feeling isolated. Could you persuade him to go to the GP?

Another one saying he needs a MH assessment. These symptoms could be from depression, head injury, psychosis, anxiety, whatever… You can’t make him happy or well on your own. It sounds like the martial arts was where he wrapped up his entire identity, and that’s not at all healthy. He is in a relationship with you and you both have kids. It’s not healthy being the widow of a living man.

You really need to seek help. Speak to
your gps team if nothing else.

this was my adult son 5 years ago. He had a psychotic break with hallucinations etc that slowly increased until he had a complete break from reality.

Get help now and push all professionals to take note. This is serious and not something you can deal with alone or leave in the hope it will blow over.

it could be seizures. partial complex seizures can be visual hallucinations.
with the hx of previous head injuries i wouldn't rule out an organic cause vs mental health issues.

Definately ring crisis team op. Before something horrific happens and trust me once he is well again he will not remember most of this- but it’s imperative you get him assessed by a mental health crisis team. Please do this asap.

Please seek help. At least GP first thing Monday morning, if nothing required over the weekend.

Mental health crisis team every district has one or town

@lovethehighlands Are you ok OP? Did you call 111?

I've experienced similar and the delusions/hallucinations/loss of time were a result of extremely high anxiety rather than schizophrenia. Although, time will tell; the diagnosis may be different if it happens again.

Does he have any insight into what's happening, OP? For example, has he noticed he's 'losing time' when he stares into space?

Is he taking, or has he recently stopped taking, ADs?

keep a log book date and time of the incidents of his odd behaviour to see if there is a pattern. How does he talk, how long for, does he have a glazed look.
He needs to see a specialist.

Perhaps he had a head injury you do not know about.

He needs a Neurological evaluation as well as a psychiatric work up. People with brain damage/traumatic brain injury or even a brain tumor can display many kinds of behavior that people think are "madness" or psychiatric in nature.
Please get help for him ASAP his behavior is deteriorating and that is extremely concerning.

Agree with above - could be the result of an injury rather than a mental health issue . He needs to be assessed asap to determine which it is therefore receive appropriate treatment. Whichever it is it's not going away on its own and could escalate badly too. Not something you want dc to witness.

OP get off mumsnet and get your husband some professional help. It sounds like he needed it a long time ago.

This doesn't sound good. My father was having defensive arguments with imaginary neighbours who weren't outside so my mother brought him to a psychiatric hospital. I'm surprised he went to be honest. But he ended up spending 6 weeks there. I think you should do that. he doesn't sound like he's in a good place. Some times you can sink so low you need a hand getting back up.

@xJoyfulCalmWisdomx - sometimes I see poster names that are entirely appropriate and yours is certainly one.

Trouble is if everyone had to have an appropriate name things like MassiveTwat, SupremelyIgnorant and Mindofan8YearOld would be the subject of intense competition

Well considering she's not been back in 3 days after only 2 posts I'd assume that's what she's done

@lovethehighlands How are you doing OP? How's your DH? 💜

Hi all thanks for the support offered. I'm afraid its still the same and he's refusing to see the GP.

we went to Wales last week along the old route which he drove on for years and years when he used to go with his chums to learn his martial arts across the various welsh towns. he's got loads of mates their and he stayed over as they caught the ferry to cross over to Ireland. He stopped at one place and looked at the road sign and a smile came to his face. first words he said in 4 hours "me and jamie changed a tire here and he suddenly tried to wrestle me to the ground here (big mistake for jamie boy)" he started saying how they both got cut up by the stones as they tussled on the ground and everyone kept asking why they were bleeding before the competition he went to.
(yes he was a grown up kid with his mates always play fighting and horseplay!)

we got to the chalet and he just sat their staring into the ocean on the beach with a long silent stare. throughout our holiday he didn't talk at all just simple interactions about practical matters. silently staring at the sea always from morning to the evening.

i sat next to him at the beach gave him a wine glass he politely took it and just staring staring into the sea. his face is sunburnt and his skins pealing off his back due to the heatwave and being outside all the time. our sex life has suffered he isn't engaging now. before whilst he was silent still did the business but he doesn't now, i tried on our hols to put him in the mood as i know what turns him on.

i did pull him up and take him for a few drinks around the bars and he's always paranoid wanting to sit with his back to the wall scanning who comes into the bars ( from his training days he says to watch out for trouble before it comes). It wasn't fun its like he's not their. just a shell just me sitting their trying to start a conversation and just getting a few nods and smiles off him .i remember the days when i had to tell him to shut up!
i was thinking of asking his mates for support but they are on hols or busy