Husband deletes everything from phone

[rosyposey23]

I came on here and few months ago has I found WhatsApp calls between my husband and a woman who he said was just a friend from years ago.
I asked to speak to her but he said no so I blew my top and kicked him out( These were video calls at 4 in the morning and calls at lunchtime and tea time,he works away Mon to Friday)

We did a lot of talking while he was away. I don't believe it was just friendly chat but he said he has deleted her from WhatsApp and blocked her on Facebook which he has .
This woman he had a affair with years ago when he was previously married she is also married to the same man.
I also wanted to have access to his phone because my phone is unlocked and I have nothing to hide and I feel he should do the same.
But now everything is deleted all history from Google (l found lots of porn and camsites with girls) He said he just looks but doesn't interact but I said I don't mind porn but feel cam girls are crossing the line!
Hes a big flirt and I absolutely hate it he knows it makes me go nuts and we have had many a barny over him doing the whole Mr charming man routine...
While we were on our break his old phone had a issue with moisture so he bought a new phone but when he came back he put it in rice and it started to work.
Hes now using the new phone but the old one has disappeared.
We have a drawer with old phones in it but I just can't find it..
I also found a old Nokia touch screen phone in his laptop bag when he came home was never there before but I can't get into it..I don't have a charger that fits it .

So what I am asking is if I can get it charged how do you open it if its locked and can you take the sim out and put it in your phone would you see whats on it.
I need to put my mind at rest i believe hes doing things that I wouldn't be happy about. I don't know if its chat sites or other woman but I need to know so I can start to trust or End it for good.
I just have this terrible feeling I am being cheated on

You have all the evidence you need OP, he’s deleting everything, has a secret phone, he watches cam girls, he has a history of cheating…:.what more do you need?

You will drive yourself insane with this, you don’t trust him, but please trust yourself, you know deep down!

You don't need 'proof' that he's cheating in order for you to dump him. All you need is to be unhappy in the relationship, and that is enough to end it.

A lack of evidence of cheating isn't going to put your mind completely at rest and make you trust him forever more, is it?

You don't trust him but understand how you'd want proof just for closure. Well he doesn't know you know about this phone in the laptop case I presume? So if you take it then he can't ask you about it can he? So you could take it along to one of those independent shops that unlock it. Then you'll know.

You don’t need proof. You don’t need evidence.
This is no way to live. You don’t trust him (and with good reason from how he has behaved it seems).
be brave you deserve better

Why do you need evidence? The fact that even after cheating he won't prove his innocence, and that he was a cheater in a previous relationship, should be enough to show you he's no good.

I think evidence is important when you have children, because you don't want to risk splitting up a family on paranoia, but in this case with no children involved I'd end it based on lack of trust tbh. I assume he is selfish and shit in bed too, men who are obsessed with porn and view women as a commodity always are.

You don’t need proof at all be strong and trust your own intuition leave this waster and live your best life without him

Pick your self-esteem up from off the floor, and get the hell away from him.

You don't need proof, you need to have faith in yourself that you're worth better than a man who is always looking over his shoulder.

What is keeping you with his vile man?

Petalparty has it bang on, I was you many years ago, I found his shag phone at the bottom of his work bag , he talked his way out of it, I then found another phone in his gym bag, he denied it was his, I searched the house and found the PHONE CONTRACT WITH HIS NAME AND OUR ADDRESS on it hidden on top of a high kitchen cupboard , he denied any knowledge of it and was so convincing I felt like it still wasn’t enough proof …… it was several more horrible years before I actually felt I had ‘ The Evidence’ . And could have kicked myself for not leaving earlier. Point is , nothing will be good enough, nothing short of finding him balls deep in someone else with your own eyes. it’s not court , you know deep down what he’s up to , gather together what’s left of your dignity and fuck him off. In fact don’t tell him it’s over because he’s a lying cheat, just tell him you’ve gone off him and aren’t feeling it anymore , that will properly sting him. I’m sorry .

Honestly just leave OP.

This man is driving you crazy.

Op has buggered off clutching her denial. See you soon 😔

I understand the need for hard evidence but that will be very difficult to obtain. You won't be able to get into his phone without knowing his PIN.
So, look at the evidence you do have. The multiple phone issue for one. People have second phones for legitimate reasons but cheaters often use secret phones. Some people keep a drawer full of old phones for innocent reasons but cheaters often hide their second phone in plain sight.
Some people delete message threads for housekeeping reasons but cheaters will often delete message threads. Try to find out if he has kept some of his friend's message threads from years ago or if he is deleting selectively?

If you're at the point of checking phones and driving yourself mad looking for phones or getting into phones then your relationship is over OP.

I need evidence

But you already have evidence - you know he's a cheater so why the need to have more?

Why do you need proof? You already know your right.

Hi all
I eventually got into the phone i found in the laptop case.
Looks like its the phone he used when we were first together and 2 years into our relationship.
No messages of concern but many numbers with no contact on his call log.
Couldn't get into the Internet explorer though I did connect to my Internet so looks like it wasn't used in our new home.
I am not very good with phone tech but went through the settings to storage and found a section ..Manage storage...
It said you have 458MB of space left for websites to store files.Select a site from the list to delete its files and clear some space....On the list was
freesexmatch.com
get naughty.com
hellohotties.com
hookupfinder.com
The list went on with about 12 more hook up shit.
Does it mean he's visited all these sites ?
Showed a friend and she said he may not of visited all of them and they have come up ?????

Doesn't matter if he didn't actively visit all of them. He visited at least one of them. He's been actively looking for sex with other people. If you do not want him to have sex with other people then you need to confront him about this.

OP posts like this are a regular feature on this board.
If you want to be a detective, apply to join the police force and work your way up to detective inspector.
It makes me so sad that vulnerable women waste hours if their precious life playing sleuth.
Of course he has been on these sites, if course he has followed through.
If you want a takeaway you will ho online look at nearby places, look at their menus and then order?
See my point?
Your friend is trying to be kind, but this happened to me and I spent FOUR YEARS playing Hetty fucking Wainthrop.
What I could have done in that time?? What amazing progress could I have made in all aspects of my life. Such regret. Dont be me. Spend the hours searching for 'evidence' making the best life you can for yourself away from super perv.
I met the most amazing man now husband who treats me like a queen and have total openess in our marriage. But you have to get rid of the rubbish first.

Yes he's been on them.

Wouldn't take up storage space if he hadn't visited.

The next time you're chilling out together. Ask to use his phone for something. His reaction will tell you everything you need to know.

The only evidence you need is the way you feel when you’re with him. Does he soothe and excite you? Obviously not, so what’s the attraction?

FGS stop this behaviour Op.

Look what he is turning you into. Everything u said in your first post IS ENOUGH to leave.

You don't trust him. That's it. Its done.

Does it matter if he visited these sites? No man just looks out of curiosity. Just because he may not have met anyone doesn't mean he didn't INTEND to. Point is he WANTED TO.

Men like this will use your now paranoid behaviour to turn it onto you and blame you. So quit while you're ahead and save him gaslightong you in the future.

Angelwithflirtyfaces.. .. thank you for your words of sence but you too have has the same shit thankfully you are now with a lovely man who treats you great
SunshineAndFiss...Yes each site has 1MB
Hes home tonight from working away
I will wait till hes in bed and check out his phone.
Ladies I can't go on like this its making me like a mad woman.
I need peace in my life not this shit at my time of life.we are both in our 50s

We do have a great sexual chemistry or I should say did. There is no way he will ever get near me.
I am going to get tested for STD god knows where his dicks beign.
Will keep you posted

I can't go on like this its making me like a mad woman

Yes, it does that, and when you've reached this stage I'm afraid that leaving really can be the only solution

I totally get the wish to "know", but in reality you're just torturing yourself further over someone you already know to be a cheater
The real question is whether this is how you want to live, because the two options are carrying on with him and pretending to yourself that none of this is happening, or calling it a day - sadly, there aren't any others