I have been completely ostracised & I'm really hurt.

[LemonSunchines]

I sent a happy message to a much loved family member. I'm going to change the details so it's not outing. But something like 'I'm going to buy you a gift'. Only the message appears to have been read back-to-front and received as 'I'm never going to buy you a gift'. The receiver of my message has gone apoplectic. They sent me a long missive remonstrating with me for my 'extreme selfishness & lack of consideration for others for not buying said gift' etc etc. In their anger, they've gone around telling a few people about my message & I've been blocked on several fronts. I was beside myself with shock when I got their reply & in tears at their vitriol. I tried to phone to iron things out but I'm not being answered. I feel absolutely terrible as I've done nothing wrong. I can't iron out this complete misunderstanding if everyone keeps their back to me. There is no-one to act as a go-between, so I guess I just have to sit and suffer for as long as this lasts.

I've never experienced anything like this before with this person.

Did you reply that they've completely misread your message? Surely they can look back over it and will see that?

I did reply, as nicely as I could, explaning how my intention had been read back-to-front.

I don't even know if they've read my reply because they have read receipts turned off, but I'm guessing they must have surely?

Doesn’t sound like they deserve a gift. Sod them

Stop being upset and start being angry

Oh dear that sounds very upsetting. Is there a third party that could mediate for you? Do you want a reconciliation? An apology?

They sound like a complete twat.

But this is just odd. If you had a decent relationship before, why would they read your message this way and turn on you in this way? It makes no sense at all. Is this person 12? Is everyone else 12? Might this person been looking for a reason to fall out with you? It sounds that way.

I don't need an apology, I'd just like to give them a hug, tell them I love them & have them see I didn't do what I'm accused of.

I don't know what's going on but there may be more that I know nothing about.

If it was a miswritten message that was misunderstood it's one thing.
If it was a correctly read message but your intentions were different that's quite another thing. I don't understand how they could misread and then block you and have everyone side with them since surely screenshotting the conversation and pointing it out to them or who else got themselves involved in this would clarify the misunderstanding.
I imagine they read it correctly but you didn't mean for it to be understood in a certain way because you weren't clear enough or precise enough in your wording? It's difficult to know without seeing what was actually said but they all sound so petty and tiresome and unless there is a huge backstory.

If I mis read a message firstly I wouldn't react like that, surely majority of people wouldn't? Secondly I would be so embarrassed if I had, once they realise what's happened they should be apologising to you. Why do you need to give them a hug? unless your actual message was so completely different from your example.

Fuck them all, let them alone until they see sense.

But first reread your message carefully - I've sent some badly worded messages in my time.

take some screen grabs of the conversation and WhatsApp it to everyone

What did you actually type?

Don't turn yourself into a pleaser/doormat over this!

They are in the wrong, they should be coming to you to give you a hug and saying sorry for going apoplectic about your well-meaning message, and for bad mouthing you to other people.

it's like apologising for someone who walks into you without looking where they're going. No, the apology is on them, they're in the wrong not you!

There must be more to this.

If this happened and my relative misread it they would know immediately that this isn't a message I would ever send. Why would your relative read that and think this?

Do you have a difficult relationship? Are they spectacularly sensitive?

How did they misunderstand it so badly? Were you unclear?

What was the wording of your message OP? Also why would you not want an apology their reaction is completely batshit and vindictive if they've gone round the family shit stirring.

How can you read a message back to front . You read the words in the order they are written surely

Just give them time to calm down and think rationally.

You’ve done nothing wrong so don’t feel guilty or keep apologising as that sounds like you were in the wrong when you weren’t.

You’ve sent a message saying they got it wrong now leave them to it.
They now need to ring or text you back and apologise for being so rude.

So you have it in black-and-white what you actually said then? Just screenshot it and send a copy!

Well they wouldn’t be getting the gift now! Get mad OP. They’ve got urned everyone against you and it’s horrible behaviour….

Is it not just an expression meaning they read it incorrectly? However if there’s a misunderstanding it’s better just saying “you misunderstood my message” rather than using an expression which again could be misunderstood.

i'm sorry but I really dont understand this? Perhaps it is the gift example you use, but I think I need a bit more information! You love them and have a good relationship to the extent you want to hug them even though they immediately assume the worst about you and are really unpleasant. They should be thinking "how unlike the OP! I must have made a mistake, Id better reread her message"... Is the recipient very old/confused or sadlyjust not quite the person you feel they are when you play the game and do what they want?