I have posted previously about this...
Earlier this year, a 'friend' of mine began behaving oddly towards/around my boyfriend - lots of very ott flirting, touching him, essentially, making a bit of a fool of herself. Meanwhile, her behaviour towards me also changed - she stopped speaking to me entirely and, when she did, made little digs.
He didn't directly tell her to stop because he said he didn't want to make her feel awkward but he gave her no encouragement, moved away from her, ignored her efforts and hoped that she would take the hint. However, he had said that he would say something if the hints hadn't worked. But it wasn't necessary.
She largely seems to have done so and has backed off a lot. Not completely but her interactions with him are far more within 'normal parameters' now and she's no longer 'throwing herself at him'. Essentially, she's not behaving like a dick anymore.
But I'm really struggling with it all now. She, as predicted by some on here, changed her approach when she was not getting the desired response from him. She sent me a couple of messages asking how I was, saying that she knew we hadn't spoken for a while and being all friendly. I, as advised, was civil in responses but didn't engage any further - which suited me. But I can't tolerate being around her. I can't look at her and I can't be in the same space as her at all. I walked past her a few weeks ago and didn't stop to speak. She confronted me and asked "Are we good?" I just said I wasn't feeling well - which was a truth but not the whole truth.
She's now returned to smiling and hugging me when we meet unless I actively stay away from her. She only does it when he is there though. I feel it is more manipulation as I can't avoid it without looking like I'm being a dick.
Other people have recently commented on her behaviour to me - everyone has seen. One guy (as I said previously) joked that she has a crush on my partner; he feels she is jealous of me; other people have suggested that they feel sorry for her to be so desperate for male attention and others have speculated that all is not well in her own relationship. I said I felt it made look like a twat. Others have disagreed and said she's making a fool of herself and not me. But I can't see it like that. Not in a way that sticks.
I'm too old to be putting up with this shit. I just want to walk away from all of it. The group and the hobby. But, in doing so, I will effectively be ending my relationship too.
I said in first thread that I'm autistic and so things are very black and white to me. In my mind, I don't feel respected and I can't be part of it anymore. I don't have people pleasing tendencies and have no qualms in telling people what I think or walking away but I don't really want to walk away from the group or the hobby and I certainly don't want to walk away from my relationship but, at the moment, I'm struggling to see an alternative or a way of moving past it other than walking away from it all and shutting it off like none of it ever existed.
It occupies pretty much all my waking thoughts just rattling around in my head (autism). I can't get out of my head on this one.