NC relatives that won’t accept it

[BiscoffSundae]

Has anyone gone NC with a relative who just won’t accept it? How have you dealt with it?

Exactly, some weird comments on here, she’s knows why we aren’t speaking, I haven’t contacted her since, she’s harassing me so I’ve stopped engaging yet seems some want to make out I’m wrong for not wanting to open the door at 12 at night 😒

Ok so this clearly malicious harassment. I would get ring doorbell, send them the letter and then follow through with apply for the most relevant order if it doesn't stop.

The advice is usually to ignore any and all contact/communication. You don't want them to think this is the way to get a response/attention.

You've had weird responses here, I'm guessing nosey people want to know why you went NC. You'd only get told you overreacted if you said the reason anyway!

It's tough going no contact because anyone with a 'normal' or 'happy' family will never understand. I certainly didn't until I saw the behavior that lead to the NC and the impact it had on the people I cared about

You need to inform them that if they come again you will call the police. If youre not willing to call the police should they show up, then just continue to ignore.

Some people need it spelt out to them. Asking other people to do it and ignoring when they knock clearly isn't getting the message across. You need to tell them you still don't want to make up.

That’s why I’m avoiding giving detail as some of these posters clearly have an agenda and would only tell me it wasn’t good enough, if it was an ex I’m sure I wouldn’t get “maybe he just wants to make up” 🙄 going to send the letter and ignore the weird comments

Weird comments? Perhaps people were trying to establish what you've already done and what else you can try. We aren't a personal advisory service for you.

On second thoughts it's been a bit like pulling teeth. I wouldn't be surprised if you're giving mixed signals.

A knock on the door at 12am does seem odd, but perhaps they're desperate to reach you. I don't know your exact situation but I do know how cruel it can be to just cut someone out.

Thanks to the more sensible comments im going to do the letter suggestion and hope that’s the end of it. If someone doesn’t answer the door or ignores you only a weirdo would take that as a “mixed message” if someone literally ignored me I would get the hint. I guess some people don’t understand when someone isn’t interested in speaking to them.

No. I'd say you're quite rude to people when it's you asking us for advice.

She’s never knocked at a normal time unfortunately it would be more normal to knock in the morning if she was desperate to reach me, I have small children so knocking at 12 at night isn’t reasonable. She was cut off for good reason.

I'm sorry to hear the woman in question seems to be acting aggressively towards you. It's different with the people I know, they've been left confused and hurt by the family members who've chosen not to talk anymore. I would say though that life is very short and one day, perhaps sooner than you think, she'll be gone forever.

I don’t care if she is gone she is dead to me already, she’s not confused she knows what she did. I can understand if someone has just been cut off randomly but this isn’t the case here this has been years of abuse and I’ve finally had enough, some people think they can just do whatever they like and you constantly forgive because they are “family” well no more, sometimes people cross a line and can’t come back from it.

I suspect she comes to my house when drunk given the times she shows up rather than desperate to catch me as she would do that in the morning otherwise.

Ignore the silly and rude comments OP, not sure why they Elbe decided to hijack your thread. People are tone deaf to difficult situation. Perhaps the legal/police route is the way to go, as a few more helpful comments have suggested. Your relative sounds unhinged and it’s unnerving turning up at midnight drunk etc.

OP ignore the ridiculous comments. Very unhelpful.

Sorry this is so hard.

Greensleeves "My NC relative followed us around in the car for weeks, bombarded us with letters and voicemails, and eventually tried to snatch one of my children from preschool."

I am so sorry, how awful.

That must be hard. Forgiveness is a powerful thing, has she really done something unforgivable? I'm guessing this is your mother. Try to imagine the pain if one of your children suddenly stopped communicating with you after an argument. All I'm saying is maybe offer an olive branch and see where it goes.

If you refuse to call the police and report the harassment, what else do expect anyone to suggest? A cease and desist letter is just a waste of time. Call the police, FGS.

No it’s my sister. I think the letter is good. That’s what I’m going to do then if it continues then police but I will try the letter first.

AlbatrossSong Italiangreyhound thank you both yes I will ignore I’m not sure why people think that someone should be forgiven no matter what just because they are family.

All the best OP, clearly I'm in the minority here. Please don't get the police involved though, they've got enough to deal with.

This has been going on for 2 years and you haven’t called the Police, why on earth not? A letter is unlikely to stop someone as determined and oblivious as your sister.