It’s an online dating one, please help!

[Namechangedforthis12456]

It’s late and I don’t know if I’m justified in feeling this way… so I would like some advice to work out whether this is a dealbreaker.

Online dating, matched with a guy at the beginning of the month who I really hit it off with. We’ve been on two dates. The first lasting ten hours. I know people will disagree with this but I was feeling it and slept with him on both dates. He calls everyday and texts. He seems keen but I also know that he is still very active online and may have other dates lined up.

I can’t help but feel really uncomfortable with this. I know he’s in his right and it’s only been two dates but I’m a one at a time kind of person. I just feel like I’m in competition with the woman population of tinder and I don’t like that.

I text him asking if the us sleeping together situation changes things in him thinking of me as more of a fwb and he replied saying he’s still after a relationship but he’s not in any rush. This just leads me to believe this situation could drag on months and I’m not ok with that.

Why are you working so hard to justify how he’s making you feel?

If he’s on Tinder that often, he is definitely talking to other women and keeping his options open.

Just end it and move on, it should not be this hard.

Trust your instincts.

If he can't see how fabulous you are to drop other options then you dump him until you find the right guy, he isn't it.

Oh op. You’ve no idea how many women do this. None at all. My male mid fifties friend is on lien date and they all want to shag him first date as a way to seal the deal. And some of them, god,the things they do sexually. It’s unbelievable he’s like a kid in a sweetie shop

he sticks with them as they are literally filthy offering everything up, but having known him for thirty years the one he will fall in love with is going to be the one who makes him wait, makes him get to know them, and who develops a relationship with him. He just doesn’t respect these women, even though he himself is doing the same thing.

it’s so sad and I find it shocking and desperate. I can absolutely assure you that shagging immediately usually does the opposite of seal the deal, it often leads to them thinking that’s all you are. A random and rather desperate shag.

shagging when you don’t really care and that’s all it is for you is one thing, but shagging to try to get a relationship is the ultimate killer of it.

I'm also someone who doesn't like the whole 'date lots of people' vibe. When I met my current boyfriend 10 months ago, he also didn't like it. On our second date, we agreed to suspend our membership on the apps. By our fourth date we were 'boyfriend and girlfriend'. There are men out there who feel like you, you just have to maybe search a bit longer to find them. I think the sex thing is a bit of a red herring in that if a man really likes you, he won't mind, but if you are someone who needs a connection after sex (like I do), it's probably better to wait a bit longer next time.