Mid thirties single mum, will I ever find a happy ending?

[cryingsle]

I was left in pregnancy and never heard from ex again. I struggle massively with not having that family environment. I feel lonely, can’t imagine meeting anyone. I’ve dabbled with online dating but just feel like it’s hopeless.

I don’t know what to do. Life feels horrendously bleak.

No advice but I couldn't scroll past without letting you know you're not alone. 32, not ready for any kind of relationship but honestly can't imagine how it will happen anyway? I'm also bloody shy! I think we need to work on being happy with ourselves first, the rest will follow. Or so I'm told.

All bleak periods in life pass and sunnier times will come. Can you find some happiness in other areas, with friends, hobbies etc? Another partner will probably/ possibly come in time but you will attract one more easily if happier within yourself so best to work on that first. I hope the feeling of bleakness is short, it is a horrible feeling. Get outside tomorrow, stand under some trees and look up, have an ice cream, meet a friend and laugh at something silly, do a little thing to make the day feel less bleak. Corny but it works. Xx

Hi OP, just wondering how you’re doing? I’m in a similar boat. 6 months pregnant and been left. Feeling similar to how you’ve described Are things looking up for you?

Chocolate Kimberly biscuits. The way they used to be - covered in thick chocolate.
Not the mean covering of it they have nowadays.

Well, I don't wish to alarm you but I'm 50 today and my happy ending just hasn't happened. I'm giving up gracefully as of today, really don't want to but there's just noone out there 🙁

The 3 women I know whose dhs left them with primary aged kids are all now with someone else.

I was a single mum aged 35 when I accidentally met my now husband, been together 5 and a half years. Your happy ending isn't necessarily out of reach. Don't lose hope. X

That sounds very hard. I'm not one who believes in happy endings or soul mates exactly but I do believe in happy times and people who are good for each other.

I did meet someone when I was 51 and we're very happy but I know from breaking up with XH and losing DH that there are no guarantees. With a child though, you will have people around because their friends will eventually be very familiar.

Widowed, with small child, and suicidally lonely at 31, truly shit family all round. But really happy on my own in my late 30s. Your happy ending doesn’t depend on a partner!

I completely empathise OP, I was in a v similar situation at your age. In my forties I met my DH, truly my soulmate, he was actually a neighbour from a couple of doors down and we both admired each other’s gardens!

Is there any way you can get to know more people in your area/start any new hobbies? I know it can be difficult with little or no family support.

That is so sweet that you found your soulmate in your neighbour! Like a rom
com

Sweet divine Jesus I posted this on the wrong thread 
Sincere apologies @cryingsle

@LadyEloise1 a genuine LOL!! This made my day!!

I thought maybe it was a hint that true happiness lies in biscuits!

@cryingsle I know this thread was a few months ago now so you might not still be here. But I'm 38 and a single mum. DCs dad left 13 years ago. Finally let my guard down and let someone in. 2.5 years later he broke my heart. I'm not risking it again. I'm trying to learn to be happy on my own.

But hopefully "it" will happen for you, if that's what you want.

Your happy ending doesn’t depend on a partner!

THIS

I got to a place where I was 100% happy on my own with 3 dc and someone who I didn't expect asked me out and we have been together 1 year now and I've never been happier. So still early days but never thought there would be someone so suited for me. I'm late 30s and divorced.

I'm 50 and I've still not found the right man for me. It's really important to enjoy your life without focusing on having a man. Embrace friends and going out with them. Buy a damn good vibrator, in fact, buy a few!

Move to the place you’re happy moving too.
find him and get CMS.
make sure you’re getting everything else you’re entitled to.
look after yourself,
Chances are you’ll find someone.

I’d say you are far more
likely to have a happy ending if you work on your self happiness first
I know this sounds like trite BS but bear with me

developing and investing into YOU first is more likely to yield results as you will be happier and more secure in yourself
ergo more likely to attract the right person

so friendships , family , home , work , fitness and your own mental health
your own hobbies

I’ve met someone and he does enhance my life
BUT my life is now much better anyway

sorry I know it’s probably annoying to read
but it’s true !

I would say yes you will because you are very young. The few young single parents I have met through school all have lovely partners. The only one I know who hasn't also has a messed up love hate thing with her ex so no one wants that! I never found my happy ever after but I'm the exception, I'm in my 40s so I think that's late plus my life is really happy in other ways.

I was parenting alone for years and finally decided to take the plunge again in my late 40's and met the most amazing man. We are together a couple of years now and I fully believe he is my 'one'. Do not be disheartened.

I recently went to the first time wedding of a 70 year old friend . It was a lovely occasion BUT she had lived a very happy, contented life as a single woman with a career she loved, lots of friends and a wider family, volunteering interests etc etc. True happiness does not revolve around a partner but more of being content within yourself.

And for those of us who genuinely are not happy being single? I don't want to be content within myself or buy a bloody vibrator. How is a vibrator going to offer me emotional support when I'm sad or go to the works Christmas do with me?

God there's some shite spouted on here😂

Sorry to hear that. I hope you can find some peace. Sometimes men leaving can be better because they cause so much damage when they stay. But I understand it’s such a shit situation and having experienced very similar, I truly sorry.

youll read loads of crap about “loving yourself” “stop looking and it’ll come” “my aunt fell in love when she was 87” “have you thought about taking up pottery”
a lot of it is good advice but can be very shaming when you’re feeling like there’s no one out there for you. I truly relate. I’m sure some smug person will happily tell you that you need is self acceptance and blah blah blah it’s actually quite victim blaming at times “if you love yourself you’ll meet someone” “ok I haven’t met someone” “well you needing someone means you don’t love yourself enough”
we’re human and we are allowed to want a partner in crime.

sometimes some people just dealt really shit hands and it sucks. I hope you do find some peace and a happy ending.

Forget the partner: work on the 'bleak'.