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Original poster

Did you meet your DP in late 30s? If so, how?

64 replies

onlinedatingsucks · 22/07/2022 07:43

My partner left me for someone else and here I am single and dreading my future. It feels too soon to be dating but I will need to start eventually, and sooner rather than later, as I do want a family. I don’t have the means or money to go it alone sadly.

I had a look at one of the dating apps and I hardly had any interest- I assume it’s my age. I’m 38. Before, many years ago, I always used get loads of likes and messages. I created another thread about this and many (not all) of the posts were negative.

But I know people meet their partners in late 30s and I wanted to ask if you did, how did you come across him/her?

I would like some inspiring stories please.

I’m feeling particularly down that this may be it for me but I don’t want pessimism to take over and hopefully gain some practical tips to at least try.

Thank you.

OP posts:
CourtneeLuv · 22/07/2022 08:07

Online dating. Pof actually!

Tsort · 22/07/2022 08:14

Also online dating. OKCupid.

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 22/07/2022 08:22

At work. He had just separated from his wife and I had just joined the company.

Thought I would be single for the rest of my life.

secondcoatneeded · 22/07/2022 08:25

I was 39 when I met my partner. He was 45. It was on eharmony. I didn't really enjoy being one harmony as they send you matches. He was sent me as a match but I wasn't matched with him. Even though I met my DP on it. I much preferred match.com

PeloAddict · 22/07/2022 08:44

I ordered a takeaway BlushGrin
Sent a DM on Instagram to say thanks and we went on a date. Been together ever since

Musttryharder2021 · 22/07/2022 08:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Ryah76 · 22/07/2022 08:56

Met my soon to be ex husband on Match- I was 36.

SVRT19674 · 22/07/2022 08:57

I met my husband on Meetic.com by accident because I did not filter out candidates from other regions and he popped up, I read his profile and found him nice. What I didn´t know was that he was informed of who had looked at his profile and I caught his attention as I wasn´t the usual type (out of EU types trying to get papers to emigrate) and he messaged me, we met a month later in person and took it from there. I was nearly 35 and he was 37 to 38.

cindylouwhosplaits · 22/07/2022 08:58

Met my DP on Tinder. He's the best and I'm thankful that I sifted through all the chancers & idiots to find him!

MirandaWest · 22/07/2022 08:58

I met my husband on OK Cupid. I was 36, he was 39.

Elsanore · 22/07/2022 09:00

I was 34 and he was 38. Met on tinder.

If I was single now I'd try Bumble and Hinge- this is where my friends my age seem to be meeting their new blokes.

Good luck. It can and does happen. Don't give up

Fruitandnuts · 22/07/2022 09:03

Met DP aged 37 on Bumble. Had ended a 3 year relationship about 1 year before. The dating scene had changed in those times and so had I. My advice is read some dating advice books/watch dating tips on you tube/podcasts etc. Have strong boundaries and a thick skin. Quickly identify the time wasters and move on. Aim to get a date once a week, talk to loads of people. Look into joining social groups via meet me as i have met some lovely people male and female through that. Have a positive mindset and abundance view, its so easy to be negative and think no one is out there, they are !

katmarie · 22/07/2022 09:07

I met my DH on tinder at the age of 35. After several months of rubbish men only after one thing, he seemed nice and genuine on his profile, and it turned out he was. We've been married 4 years now, and I love him a silly amount.

Adversity · 22/07/2022 09:09

You need to meet as many people as possible online and in real life. It’s literally a numbers game. I view friendships in the same way. Relocated twice in my life, joined many groups and organisations, never said no to an invite.

Relaxalotl · 22/07/2022 09:27

I met my DH on Tinder when I was 35 and has 37. We're now married with a 3 year old DD. Would love a second DC but at 42 and after three miscarriages on two years, I am accepting it probably won't happen.

Relaxalotl · 22/07/2022 09:29

I meant to say, I am VERY happy with what I have. I didn't think I would have any luck online dating but I am so happy I gave it a try. Wishing you lots of luck, OP.

TheMess · 22/07/2022 09:29

Met my husband at 41, through friends - it was a bit of a set-up although neither of us realised at the time! If I'd seen his profile on an online dating site I'd have scrolled on past, as on paper we don't have a lot in common - he loves sport and is very sociable, I love reading and am a bit introverted - but in real life we complement each other very well and have the same bigger picture view. And also, meeting a bit later on in life has given us both a bit of perspective about compromise.

I got almost no response on online dating when I found myself single in my late 30s, despite being reasonably presentable. I agree that you end up falling outside the age brackets. For me, it was letting friends know I was up for a date and encouraging them to shake the 'friends of friends' tree - not just the ones you know already, but the nice bloke at Sarah's work or Jenny's husband's gym pal.

Schtuck · 22/07/2022 09:31

Met mine on Match. I was 38 he was 45. 2 DC now.

atomicnotsoblonde · 22/07/2022 09:32

Age 38 on hinge

Whataretheodds · 22/07/2022 09:34

Through a mutual hobby. But if i could go back and talk to my 38 year old self I'd tell her to freeze some embryos and eggs to take the pressure off that relationship and improve chances of a healthy pregnancy

PollyDarton1 · 22/07/2022 09:37

I'm 37 and on Bumble and Hinge, 10 months out of a split with my ex DP (DS's dad) - have had a number of dates, one brief dating/relationship situation but have been mostly single throughout.

Would definitely recommend before dating arming yourself with as much knowledge of the dating "game" as it were - lalalaletmeexplain has a brilliant book (and IG page) called "Block, Delete, Move On" which focuses on the different red flaggy type dating situations.

womblesmissus · 22/07/2022 09:45

spilt up from my first husband at 38 after his affair, met 2nd through mutual friends who were convinced we would get on well (he had been through similar) . They were right , we’ve been very happily married for 17 years now . Probably wouldn’t have approached each other without encouragement from our friends .

fedup078 · 22/07/2022 09:45

Reading all these it looks like I will have to try OLD though I really didn't want to
38 and really hoped I'd never find myself in this situation again
Or of course I could just stay single which I'm seriously considering

CravingCornOnTheCobs · 22/07/2022 10:12

Three years ago, I was waitressing and he was a lovely customer. I'm nearly 39 and we have our baby on the way.
I absolutely was not looking or expecting to find anyone. Was very happy single before. Couldn't be happier now though.

Musttryharder2021 · 22/07/2022 10:21

Whataretheodds · 22/07/2022 09:34

Through a mutual hobby. But if i could go back and talk to my 38 year old self I'd tell her to freeze some embryos and eggs to take the pressure off that relationship and improve chances of a healthy pregnancy

It isn't recommend to freeze eggs past 35 most fertility clinics would advise against that as the quality of eggs due to age is deemed to be impacted and results poor.