Red flags? Or am I the red flag?

[Mememe2022]

Hey.
So I’ve been seeing a guy for about 6 months.
He’s lovely and he does make me feel good, most of the time. There have been occasions when he has made comments and it has hurt my feelings, I don’t think he meant it that way and I just kept it to myself. I think things sometimes come out the wrong way maybe?

Well past couple of days things have gotten to me, I wondered if I could get an outside view?

1. night before last he txt me goodnight, with a couple of emojis and cc’s…I replied goodnight with xx’s. he replied saying have you forgotten something so I added the emojis and he said you didn’t say I love you. I feel like you’re annoyed at me are you ok? So I replied to say I love you - but just to point out you didn’t say it either lol and no I’m fine. He didn’t even open the msg or read it which then did annoy me because he made a fuss about me not saying I love you and was checking if I was ok but the. Couldn’t even be assed to read my reply to the scenario. I obviously knew I was being a bit petty so didn’t bring it up.
2. i am by no means overweight but I have put on a few pounds and feel a little self conscious about it. He knows this. Last night he started patting my tummy and said oh are you pregnant? This upset me a little I thought it was insensitive and it made me feel bad about myself. He instantly saw it upset me and said I’m sorry I’m only joking.
3. later in the evening we were watching a programme and there were prostitutes on, amongst conversation I said have you ever slept with one? And he went mad at me (didn’t raise his voice or anything) but told me that had pissed him off and he got his things and went home. Saying he couldn’t believe I would ask that etc. i genuinely didn’t think it was going to be like that it was just a question and I was taken aback by the whole situation..but I’m wondering whether it is me that is the issue.

thanks x

His reaction to your question is way OTT. Why not just say no way, or never have never will or eeeuuuwww no if that’s how he feels. Storming off and insisting you use emojis. ( what’s that about, is he 11?) all sounds like he’s very hard work.

He reminds me of an ex I had, he would count the kisses on a message or email and then ignore me when I tried to 'fix' it. He would frequently comment on my weight (and various other things about my appearance, the most memorable being that my hair follicles** were, I shit you not, 'too far apart').

That was just the beginning, and it escalated a lot and quickly. I could give you chapter and verse on how it went but I won't because we would be here all day. I will say that these are red flags, yes, and I was very lucky in my situation, to be able to get away.

The prostitute question was probably a bit odd, but I don't think it's out of order or anything. I don't think I've ever asked my DH that but I don't think he would be bothered if I did. His reaction speaks volumes though.

All said and done. Get out while you can.

My neighbour uses prostitutes. It came out as part of a sort of 'neighbour dispute' thing that happened (dispute wasn't with me). He's just a normal man, young, quite attractive, nice job, nice car, single dad etc. Ordinary. I've never looked at him the same way since, but you would never have put him down as someone using sec workers.

The kisses etc thing- my sister had one like that, he would phone her at work saying she hadn't said 'I love you' in a text etc.

He went on to be controlling about other things, such as trying to prevent her seeing friends or family members.

Run run run.

Run far away and fast. Otherwise you’re going to be truly miserable.

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

You are questioning yourself... Am I the abuser/red flag?

He's deflecting/projecting, making you in the wrong.
Normal people who are sincere talk about things rather than act out and cause issues.
He is cdeating/fabricating issues and you are questioning yourself and trying to work it out.

This will be your life until you get out. Big warning flags here, definate narky traits.

Get rid. 1. The comment about your stomach was insensitive. 2. He certainly got defensive over the prostitute question. Too defensive, maybe. Wonder if you hit a nerve.

Get a grip.

Please end it with this toxic man who will only fuck you up. Just spare yourself the misery.

And agree whole heartedly with PPs that his massive over reaction to the question strongly suggest that he has used women in this way.