Husband commenting on videos of women

[Wonderwoman01]

Hi, so me and my husband have been together for 9 years we have 3 children together. He is an amazing father, he works hard and provides for us. But he isn’t without his faults he’s been on dating sites in the past and I’ve caught him this happened a few times and he said he’s never acted upon on it.
I’ve recently found out he’s been on TikTok commenting on woman’s videos with flirty comments, some of them asking where there from, stuff like “is that outfit for our date” “I would” meaning he would have sex with them, another comment was “maybe I should start working away 2 days a week” “is the itch getting scratched”
”is their room in there for a little one … is that an invite?”
”can I be your crush?”

im so heart broken and when I’ve found the messages he can’t seem to understand why am so heart broken, he keeps telling me he didn’t think he was doing anything wrong and it was just banter but I feel like he was using the site as a dating site trying to get woman’s attention.

ive asked him if he wants to be with me and he said he does and he loves me but why does he keep hurting me ?
I honestly wonder why he’s acting the way he is when I’ve given him no just cause. When
I tell him how much I love him.

I just don’t know how I supposed to move forward when I already felt broken.

You move forward by leaving him behind.

He's been on dating sites, and is now acting in appropriately online. He's been doing it for years and clearly lacks respect for you and your relationship. It won't stop.

Yep he’s cheating on you
Don’t put up with it

he said he’s never acted upon on it

That's textbook cheater speak. If he's never acted on it, its because he hasn't had the opportunity yet (probably because he tries it on with women way out of his league), but if ever one of them agreed to meet him for sex, he would definitely 'act on it'.

As for him saying he didn't know he was doing anything wrong, please don't accept that pitiful claim from him.

I'm so sorry OP. Maybe suggest a social media break for a while and try to reconnect.

he sounds like a sleazeball.

Honestly he sounds like a complete sleaze. The dating sites would be enough for me to walk away. You can bet your bottom dollar that if one of those girls had reciprocated he'd been all over it. He sounds like a sad, desperate old man and you and your family deserve much better than that

Who cares if he's actually cheated or not.

Or whether he thinks it's OK.

You don't and you're allowed to make that decision for yourself.

You also know he'll keep on doing it because he's done it before.

Why don't you take control and end it?

Tragic and pathetic.

Is that aimed at me ?

He is an amazing father, he works hard and provides for us

Amazing fathers do not lech after other women on dating sites or message them on video sites.

Just like amazing fathers don't leave all the load at home to the women, berate SAHMs or lower earning partners because "they are the bread winner" or any of the other dozens of shitty and hurtful behaviours which always follow when an OP feels obliged to say "he's an amazing dad".

He is also modeling this behaviour as normal and acceptable to your DC.

Utter gross. I've dumped for far less than this. Just sayin.

This.

So disrespectful to you and the women.

Grosssssss

So sorry OP. You must realise this is the end.
Those messages are creepy and gross. To have already have caught him out on dating sites is bad enough.

Someone who loves you doesn't do this.

No, aimed at ‘d’ h.

Good for you !

I’m certain this poster was referring to your husband as tragic and pathetic.

Honestly, you need to think really hard about why you’ve stuck around with this man rat. He has zero respect for you to post such things to randoms on the internet. I mean, come on… TikTok videos, what an ick.

Eww what a slimy little creep.

Sorry but this IS cheating OP. He's trying to make you look like the paranoid hysterical one by passing it off as 'banter' but that's just a shitty excuse from a shitty little man.

I couldn't stay in a relationship with someone who showed me such little respect.

When they do this they do not stop. They just try and hide it more but they still do it.

Ew. Dump.

Does he think his cringey chat is going to work on any woman?
Men really do overvalue themselves.
Get rid.

He sounds absolutely disgusting. Why on earth would you stay with him? Absolutely no chance he hasn't already cheated on you btw

Not only is his behaviour massively inappropriate and a form of cheating, it is also seriously cringe and really tragic. He is an embarrassment and i absolutely assure you given the chance, he would act on an opportunity if it presented itself. The reason it probably hasn't presented itself is because of the infantile way your husband behaves online.

Can i be your crush?? Are you kidding me?

Honestly lovely, you need to leave him!!

Oh isn't it just boring OP. The whole of the internet and all he seems to do is chase some sort of verification for his very important penis instead of either doing something interesting or treating you like a queen, the mother of his children that you are.

Sounds like he gives you money so you are in your mother provided for box he can now spread his penis live around to anyone who will have him.

What would he do if you did the same? Cut off the money tap? Fail to provide for his children? Say your actions split up the family? How amazing is he actually? Have you ever tested his limits with regards to online flirting? Or is that avenue not available to you?

Leave or fight fire with fire. Or stay and just put up with it.

I honestly wonder why he’s acting the way he is when I’ve given him no just cause

Because it's not about you @Wonderwoman01 . He just is a slimeball.

I’m sorry OP, that’s not normal behaviour at all. There’s no harmless reason for a married man to contact women on dating sites.