Heartbroken!!

[Fortyandfuckingheartbroken]

Hi All,
New to this site so please be kind. My husband walked out a few weeks ago only to return the next day full of apologies, claiming this is where he wanted to be and it was up to him to prove it. He even sat our 9 year old down and told her he wasn't going anywhere. Over the next 8 weeks he made no effort whatsoever to show he was sorry or wanted to be here. Infact, he made me think all the doubt was in my head, again claiming this was where he wanted to be. The situation caused me to start having panic attacks and his response once was "just fucking breathe"
After at least 8 weeks of living in a home where I felt I was walking on egg shells around him, I discovered some hotel/restaurant bookings that didn't add up. I confronted him and told him he had to start talking to me! He initially denied it, then claimed to have booked himself a night away as a treat!!
Then he told me he didn't have a spark for me and this was the end of the road for him. All this after HE came back claiming he wanted to be here. I am utterly devastated. He has been extremely angry towards me and hostile in communication since he left, which I don't understand as this is his choice!!

My kids don't want to see him which is understandably frustrating him and he blames me for this. I'm so heartbroken at how he could treat me this way and just feel like I can't go on.

Op your not pathetic, it's a massive adjustment for you and your family. You need time to process everything and heal, have you managed to resolve any of the finances ? Xx

So the estranged husband said he's missing the kids so much. The kids he barely bothered with when he was actually in the house 🙄. I'm on a short holiday with them & he didn't offer them or me any pennies etc for it (even though he was supposed to take part in the holiday too before he decided to leave!). So frustrating that all of a sudden he's trying to act like a doting father now he's out of the house 🤬. I only respond when it's questions about the kids or accessing the house. I still can't believe he doesn't give a shit about what he's done to me 😥

Have been absent for a while. Things have gone from and keep going from bad to worse. Everyone who said there was another woman was correct (even though he has been denying to people they got together until after we separated!). I'm 110% sure it had been going on for not sh due to things I've seen/been told. He is currently abroad with her but lied to our daughter saying he was going away for a couple of days on his own. Just the lowest of the low!!

Sorry to hear you're still having a tough time op.
At least you don't have to worry about him dropping by for a while if he is on holiday.
Small mercies.

Ever manage to get your share from the joint account?

How are the kids? Hope you've found the strength to stop encouraging them to see him when they don't want to! (That can make them feel that they don't have a right to their boundaries - which is the last thing they need with a dad like him).

Its too early in his relationship to have to tell a young child who he is dating or spending time with anyways.

Genuinely hope you aren't subconsciously involving the kids into the drama. He left YOU not them, if he tries to rebuild a relationship, he should have every right to.

With all due respect I haven't and never would do that. He sent his daughter a Snapchat of him abroad with the other woman! DD was distraught 😩

The OP already said in a previous post she would never try and prevent the children seeing their father.