I moved overseas with my family 18 months ago to a far away place. We had originally moved back to the UK from this place a few years ago when my babies were very little, so I had made several new friendships on my return to the U.K. at playgroups primary school etc. One of those became a very close friend and I saw her often, had her kids round, picked each other’s kids up from school, barbecues together etc.
When we moved back again I was devastated for ages because I missed her company so much but we’ve kept in touch loads and always talked about when we get to meet up again- she knows I’m planning to visit at least yearly. A few weeks ago she said she would be emotional when she saw me.
In the days leading up to us coming we texted about plans, we had a day out booked in but nothing else.
I mentioned the first weekend we arrived I could pop round for a cup of tea after she finishes work and I wanted to see her as much as possible. She works from home doing beauty type stuff and finished at 7pm and 3pm on the sat/sun respectively. She was also going off on holiday but not until two weeks after we arrived back. She didn’t reply to these messages which I thought was odd and I didn’t hear from when I first arrived back. So on the Sunday I popped by in the afternoon and knocked on the front window (we often did this and she never minded so that’s not an issue) to surprise her.
Her reaction was as if the postman had turned up with a parcel. She didn’t even come to the open window let alone come out to hug me. I was so wounded I said I couldn’t stay I just had to see her and scuttled off. I felt absolutely devastated and confused tbh. As I walked away I heard her say “right, dinner” as if I was just some mere interruption to her dinner prep.
Didnt text her again then bumped into her at the park and I just acted as normal. We then went on the day out we had planned although she changed it to a walk due to covid (as she had to get a pcr test for the holiday). I didn’t hear from her again despite us saying we would try and get together - I left the ball in her court - until the night before her holiday when she text saying hope we had a safe trip back and sorry she couldn’t meet up again she had been so busy fitting clients in before her (6day) holiday.
I am crying as I write this which makes me sound pathetic but we were such good friends and I am totally blindsided. I know from experience that when you come back to visit people are often busy and life goes on but it really wasn’t that kind of friendship. We were close and others have commented how weird it is. I have racked my brains - was it due to covid? Her DH is vulnerable and she has always been wary but she went swimming at the local pools and we could easily have sat outside for a cup of tea. She was concerned about the pcr for holiday. She goes on and on about how busy she is with work but I fail to see how you couldn’t spare 15 minutes for a cuppa with your old mate a few times - I always used to pop by in between clients etc. My DH reckons she has become even more negative and alienated herself, after talking to her. She was definitely a one for bad mouthing others but other people have said she never said a bad word against me. Has she just decided it’s not worth the effort? Why would she be in touch so much 😭
Thank you for reading my essay. I’ve tried not to drip feed. Any advice welcome. Please be gentle - it has been an absolute emotional rollercoaster.