Page 3 | Has your husband ever stopped you from buying apparel for yourself?

Jasjasrose1223 · 2022-07-16T23:35:32+00:00

My husband complained me for buying clothes for myself, he said I shouldn't spend the money when I don't know how to make money. In fact, I do not shop often. I only bought something that I like during sale. Last time I bought myself a dress was 3 to 4 months ago from TK Maxx. Also, I want to take our ds to the beach so I bought I tent from Amazon. Again, he said I should not spend the money. I had to return them all.

MissMogwai · 17/07/2022 15:52

alphapie · 17/07/2022 11:17

No

But then again we both contribute financially to our household.

So you'd be happy for your spouse to treat you the same, should you stop contributing financially?

MissMogwai · 17/07/2022 15:57

Sounds shit OP. He sounds like a pompous arse with the 'you don't know how to make money'

I haven't read your other threads but it sounds like this is the tip of the iceberg based on other posters. Better to be on your own and skint than what you have to put up with now.

alphapie · 17/07/2022 16:20

@MissMogwai talk about seeing 2+2 and getting 18...

When did I say I'd be happy with being treated like this?

Merely saying it's easier when both parties contribute financially as there is no grey areas.

alphapie · 17/07/2022 16:21

@wellhelloitsme she actually said she helped, not worked unpaid.

Christ alive.

The OP is not financially contributing to the household if she doesn't work. That's a basic fact. Her husband is still a prick. But let's not make things up.

alphapie · 17/07/2022 16:22

Haudyourwheesht · 17/07/2022 11:46

@alphapie If she works for the business that finances the family, she contributes to the family finances. If she takes care of the children she contributes to the family.

OP, I would LTB.

Helping set it up is very different to working for it.

thankyouforthesun · 17/07/2022 16:22

It doesn't matter who brings in the money. If the money is there, it's there and if it isn't it's not. It's not fair if one partner goes off spending money on clothes and beach kit and the other is worrying about bills.
Equally it's not fair if one partner has money for dinners out, designer kit and the other partner is going around in old stuff that's falling apart.
You're a team. You should have a budget and talk about it regularly, at least monthly. Either have personal money in your own accounts for this sort of thing, and if it's minimal for one, it's minimal for both, because that's the size of the pot, or because you've agreed to save for something that's a priority for both. Alternatively you agree a family clothes budget that has lines for adults and kids (ours also splits out 'sports' 'work' and 'school uniforms' from 'regular' because we give these different levels of priority, but not 'his' and 'mine').

MissMogwai · 17/07/2022 16:34

alphapie · 17/07/2022 16:20

@MissMogwai talk about seeing 2+2 and getting 18...

When did I say I'd be happy with being treated like this?

Merely saying it's easier when both parties contribute financially as there is no grey areas.

It was a question, hence the ? at the end of it.

bloodyunicorns · 17/07/2022 16:37

You help him with his business? What do you help him with?

Why doesn't he pay you?
Why does he think that's fair?

Ihatehotweatherxx · 17/07/2022 16:38

How terrible! I would of told him to beep Off! My husband encourages me to buy clothes, sometimes coming home with a suprise top/jeans, vice versa. Set up your own bank account, he cant say anything then!

Original poster

Jasjasrose1223 · 17/07/2022 20:18

thankyouforthesun · 17/07/2022 16:22

It doesn't matter who brings in the money. If the money is there, it's there and if it isn't it's not. It's not fair if one partner goes off spending money on clothes and beach kit and the other is worrying about bills.
Equally it's not fair if one partner has money for dinners out, designer kit and the other partner is going around in old stuff that's falling apart.
You're a team. You should have a budget and talk about it regularly, at least monthly. Either have personal money in your own accounts for this sort of thing, and if it's minimal for one, it's minimal for both, because that's the size of the pot, or because you've agreed to save for something that's a priority for both. Alternatively you agree a family clothes budget that has lines for adults and kids (ours also splits out 'sports' 'work' and 'school uniforms' from 'regular' because we give these different levels of priority, but not 'his' and 'mine').

This is very sensible. Thank you

OP posts:

bunny85 · 17/07/2022 22:30

That's not good! I'm a sahm and my husband has his own business, he works long hours. We have a joint account and I buy what I like, in fact he even encourages it. Every once in a while he'd say things like 'why don't you go and buy something for yourself'. I never abuse it though but it's nice to hear. We're not rich by the way, just average. I think it shows that your husband doesn't value your contribution to the family life, which is sad. Not sure what I'd do, but I'd be definitely upset (not so much about not being able to buy certain material things as about his lack of appreciation).