I know there’s part of me that’s being super sensitive and unreasonable here but……..
With DP 3 years, I was divorced for 4 years previously and he was separated for 6 months but the ex was still in the process of moving out. Fast forward 3 years and we’ve just moved in together (last month) I have older DDs who live away from home, he has 3 DCs who he has 40% of the time. He’s still not divorced…in the process of saving up although told me a year ago when we planned moving in that he’d be on with it by the time I moved in. He knows I hate the fact I live with a ‘married’ man and he knows how to solve it! Neither of us have any plans in getting remarried for many, many years.
His ex is very controlling, constant texts asking above and beyond from him, he will never ask for the slightest deviation to assist us though, he muddled through with help from his parents or very occasionally me (in no way uses me as a babysitter.) Its constant demands off her, he says no, she wears him down, he says yes and then I have to alter my plans to accommodate? Is this normal?! Have I now got this for the next 18 years?!
I love him and he loves me, I can see him pulled in all directions and I try realllllly hard to keep my mouth shut but it’s very hard playing second fiddle and having my life disrupted when all it would take is a ‘no’ 🤷🏻♀️