ADHD/ ASD Positivity thread

[Opaljewel]

I want to offer a place to praise the good parts about your partners/ family/ yourselves on this thread.

This isn't a place to spout off how difficult they are. This is a place to show the positive of being neurodiverse.

I am on the waiting list to be diagnosed with ADHD and I have many positive attributes and I'm very aware of my not so positive like many humans.

I like to think I'm really empathic and kind. I have a good sense of humour. I try my best for my friends. I've also stopped masking as much and I've had a mostly positive response back so I feel like I've picked a good bunch of friends around me and work have been really supportive whilst I am seeking a diagnosis. Especially since my concentration has been bad recently.

I also feel like I'm trying to be kinder to myself since I've realised NT really don't have a clue what it feels like to have my brain. Realising a lot of it isn't my fault and I'm not stupid or lazy.

It's been an eye opening journey.

Also since realising I aren't neurotypical, my understanding of the spectrum has really developed since I've been doing my own research.

What are yours? 😀

We've had some very bad times but DW is almost single minded about loving and trusting me.

I have ADHD and depression/ptsd so its not a straightforward combination for me. I suffer extreme paralysis which increases anxiety. My sleep is poor and im incredibly forgetful and messy.
The good bits, I work incredibly well under pressure, im an excellent problem solver (for others not me) I know a lot of things about a lot of stuff due to feeting obsessions/interests over the years. But I find life in general quite difficult... the mundane stuff .. if i dont place value in something then its near on impossible to do. Almost uncomfortable due to the level of anxiety.

My DP has ADHD and he is loving, loyal, kind, generous and funny. He cares for me, I’m sick at the moment and he came over yesterday evening just to make my dinner even though I was ZERO fun! We’ve been together 3 years and I’m very lucky to have him (he’s lucky to have me too as I’m lovely!!)

I will add that since my diagnosis Im able to be a lot kinder to myself about my limitations. And this has helped

My DH and DD have ASD and my life is all the better from sharing it with people who see the world differently to me.

One example I have is that we were at a pizza party and she added toppings that wouldn't traditionally "go together" or go on pizza, like strawberries. One little boy called her weird and my instinct was to say "maybe it won't taste nice," and have her change the pizza. However, DH and DD both thought how sad it was that a boy of 6/7 already had boring rules about pizza in his life and carried on (having more fun than Mr Margarita 😁)!

I now look at social norms and actually think about them, life is more colourful without feeling trapped by what my parents said, who thought that because their parents did.... both DH and DD are completely free of judgement and it's so, so refreshing!

No idea what that first post was. I'm assuming it was someone being offensive?

These are really positive posts. Thank you for sharing. It's also a reminder to yourself and/or your adhd/asd person that it isn't all bad and we do have some good about us.

Use that good to remind yourself to be kind to yourself and don't let people who don't understand your condition get you down either.

Someone can never fully understand it unless they have it themselves. I won't even understand everyone else's adhd as it comes out differently in each person and can differ in males and females.

I actually love that you've turned the rules on it's head and seen it as refreshing.

I have found it very hard to break away from rules and the oscar winning masking that I do due to being bullied younger and my dad's criticisms of me constantly.

I'm slowly but surely moving to the beat of my own drum and if people don't like it, screw them.

I will say to anyone with adhd, your phone calendar is your best friend. I put everything in there including stuff I have to remember to do!

Also if anyone loses notes for shopping, I just text myself now instead and leave it as unread until I get there so I will definitely look at it haha!

Anyone else got any good tips to help day to day?

I fear that people will just use this as another thread to complain about their ASD spouse.

I had a post deleted for being negative. Not about anyone else though. I'm the one who lives it every day. I'm the one who is autistic.

The title of the thread is 'ADHD/ ASD Positivity thread'

As you posted negatively, as stated above, perhaps you could start your own thread about your negative experiences? That way, your posts won't/shouldn't be deleted as they'll be in context.

Just a suggestion 😊

My life would have been a lot less fun without my friend who has ADHD. Her creative, impulsive brain comes up with all the ideas that push me to try things out of my comfort zone or that I'd never have thought of myself!

That was my first thought when I opened the thread. So far, it hasn't happened, but I won't hold my breath!!

In the spirit of the thread, I will add a few of my positive attributes as an autistic woman:

Loyalty
Honesty
Integrity
Hard working
Focused

There are plenty more, but I'm tired and my brain is a bit 'fuzzy'😴

My OH has ADHD and makes my life so much more fun and full.
He's always got a new idea or something he's excited to share with me. He is incredibly creative and fearless and our life is full of music and art and travel.
He needs reining in sometimes but I know I'll never be bored for long if I stick with him.

I have this poster at work. I am really good at being positive and picking myself up and trying again. I would say the biggest difference a dx has made is that I’m much kinder to myself now. I’ve leaned into being neurodiverse a little more. People seem to like me and value me at work, I’m good in a crisis and I’m good at problem solving.

The other thing that’s changed since my dx is that before I believed all the stuff I was good at must be easy, because so much easy stuff I find incredibly difficult. Now I realise that it’s perfectly possible to have skills that are quite rare but lack ones that are quite common.

That photo isn’t great, here’s the link www.adhddd.com/shop/also-adhd-posters/

That's a great poster!!!!

Both my young people have Autism.
One is almost 18. One is almost 15 (next week ;)

Both are incredibly intelligent.
Both are very hard working.
Both are very kind.
Both are exceptionally funny (& never at anyone else's expense)
Both are very loyal.
Both are good leaders.
Hyper focused.
Modest

My 15 year old DD has ADHD and while she struggles in certain areas of her life (mostly school related), over the years I consistently hear independently from various people how impressed they are with her character in general. We are very proud of her for that. I encourage her to own her ADHD and it has made me realize that there are probably more people in the world who are neurodiverse than not.

Thank you for starting this positive thread. I would also welcome advice about how to best support my daughter as she finds her way into adulthood and independence. The worlds of work and education are not very well structured to support those who are neurodiverse. I am trying to encourage her to pursue her passion, whatever it might be. Right now she is talking about becoming a pastry chef. :)

I really hope not as that is not why I started this thread.

I was fed up of always seeing the negative about someone on the spectrum on here.

I know who I am and I think I'm a pretty decent person with good morals. I have rather a dirty sense of humour and love a good wine with my friends.

There might be some differences about me but there is also lots good about me.

I want to feel positive about myself and hope others can too! 😊

Says everything about Mumsnet that the very first comment was deleted.

I'm intelligent, funny and empathetic.

My biggest advice is to:

Look up the additude mag online and sign up to their emails.

Go on Instagram and find Instagram blogs about adhd:

Some of my faves are here:

instagram.com/mattraekelboom?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

instagram.com/the_mini_adhd_coach?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

instagram.com/theneurodivergentnurse?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

instagram.com/additudemag?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Educate yourself as much as you can. Be aware of all the things that we do as ADHD. Honestly it helped my esteem so much to know none of this was my fault.

Sleep is important and remembering to eat.

Get her to use her phone calendar with reminders about tasks and appointments and activities booked in.

Apparently setting timers is good for tasks although not done this myself yet.

Thank you to everyone who has contributed so far. And I love knowing all your positive traits.

Please feel free to post anything that helps anyone ND. Any tips or stories or techniques or links.

This is a safe space.