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Original poster

He’s blocked me on everything

59 replies

Jolene93 · 12/07/2022 06:49

Me and the guy I’m dating usually message first thing in the morning but yesterday I hadn’t heard from him so thought I’d call instead as it was his day off, he didn’t answer but then text me and said he was on the phone - I didn’t reply as thought leave him to it as he’s obviously busy.
He then text me when he was done asking if I was okay, I said yeah and asked him etc etc.
This basically escalated out of nowhere to him asking me what was up when I said “cool xxx” to him being okay?? I said nothing and he kept pressing what was wrong so I said I don’t want an argument, then he ended it with me over text & blocked me on absolutely everything.

I’m so confused and would really like some impartial advice from people who aren’t my friends/family, as I just don’t know if he’s angry after an argument and will unblock me or what.

OP posts:
drlel · 12/07/2022 12:38

I don't know if it's an age/generation thing but there seems to be a lot of posts recently where partners are blocking each other after a disagreement then unblocking etc.

If you've split up and the relationship is well & truly over then I agree clocking can be useful. However, I couldn't be arsed with all this blocking every time there is an argument.

If I was dating or going out with someone who blocked me after an argument, id take that as the relationship being over and that would be the end of it. You need to be Abel to communicate in a relationship. All seems so childless

JustKittenAround · 12/07/2022 13:42

drlel · 12/07/2022 12:38

I don't know if it's an age/generation thing but there seems to be a lot of posts recently where partners are blocking each other after a disagreement then unblocking etc.

If you've split up and the relationship is well & truly over then I agree clocking can be useful. However, I couldn't be arsed with all this blocking every time there is an argument.

If I was dating or going out with someone who blocked me after an argument, id take that as the relationship being over and that would be the end of it. You need to be Abel to communicate in a relationship. All seems so childless

I think it’s less about the blocking unblocking which in most tiffs could be little huffs and puffs of the digital world. I wish I knew what was done before but there were things, back in the day you wouldn’t wear Bobby’s class pin the next day or Mr Footballs varsity jacket. Same shit different dog

i think the silence and the situation is crazy and so she needs to just accept it.

The mantra id like embraced is that in his silence he is asking to not be in contact with you. Give him that gift. Also give yourself the gift of standards.

you know damn well if you went silent on a man he’d reach out. If you cared you’d respond

god it’s so hard. But so important to just less the answer in the silence, because it is one.

Men go after what they want. It sucks when they don’t show up for you, trust me I know. But that just means you need to show up for yourself harder. He’s trash.

Hutchy16 · 12/07/2022 14:26

Was he with another woman, then thought you realised and is now pushing back on you as if you’ve done something wrong?

sounds very odd behaviour

takeitandleaveit · 12/07/2022 14:37

Well, if this is how he reacts to an argument-that-never-was, you've dodged a bullet there OP.

drlel · 12/07/2022 14:43

@JustKittenAround I get that but it all seems a little over dramatic. If I had a tiff with someone I'd ask them for space. If they didn't respect that it would be over.

The examples you give of pre-digital equivalents are playground antics or how teen crushes would have behaved. Not 2 grown adults in a grown up relationship

ImpartialMongoose · 12/07/2022 14:53

Either you have form for being off with him when you don't get to speak to him, or a previous girlfriend does or he himself is like that and projecting. If it's the first option maybe he just can't be bothered with you getting the hump all the time, if it's the last two he is being very unfair and if he ends things suddenly without proper communication then he's not worth bothering with, it will only get worse if you get together again.

JustKittenAround · 12/07/2022 15:00

drlel · 12/07/2022 14:43

@JustKittenAround I get that but it all seems a little over dramatic. If I had a tiff with someone I'd ask them for space. If they didn't respect that it would be over.

The examples you give of pre-digital equivalents are playground antics or how teen crushes would have behaved. Not 2 grown adults in a grown up relationship

You are very mature and level headed. I’m betting you aren’t easily emotionally manipulated.

we are talking emotionally being immature. It’s tough at all ages. But it’s been a thing forever in different forms.

You are the bar by not giving into petty crap. But it’s leveling up more women to that space. Namely overlooking the blocking (dealing) and embracing the message,

it’s OK if someone want you out of their life. We wish they’d do it better, but to keeps ones dignity it’s important to do just that. It reinstates dignity and control. We can’t control how someone treats or feels about us, but we can have standards and walk away from those who don’t value us.

big learning curve.

PrinnyPree · 12/07/2022 15:08

Just block and move on, do not invite this sort of teenage bickering into your childs life. I wouldn't invite this person to meet my child unless we were in a rock solid long term relationship that had been going on without incident or drama for at least 6 months to a year. If you do insist on carrying on the relationship I think you need to postpone the introductions to your child for another few months as the relationship is far too volatile at present.

CallOnMe · 12/07/2022 16:43

How long have you been together?

I’m wondering if you were annoyed that he was on the phone and he’s had enough.
Either that or he’s just not in to you.

Cut your losses and move on.
You don’t want to play this game any longer than you need to.

Summersolargirl · 12/07/2022 16:46

I find texting him from your friends phone very creepy. When someone blocks you accept it, don’t do this op, if he wanted to talk to you he would. Forcing yourself like that isn’t ok.

CallOnMe · 12/07/2022 16:48

In April you said you’d just started dating a guy but he’s cancelled the date twice and let you down and so you’re ending things with it.

So either this is the same guy and you’ve only been dating since April.
Or it’s a new guy.

Either way it’s too soon to meet your child especially when the relationship isn’t going well anyway.

ihatethefuckingmuffin · 12/07/2022 17:04

wow Creepy stalker. Blocked and still don’t get the message.
Doesn’t matter why he blocked you, people are allowed to do this when they’ve had enough.

Truestar8 · 12/07/2022 17:25

How long were you together?

Catlover1970 · 12/07/2022 22:43

Summersolargirl · 12/07/2022 16:46

I find texting him from your friends phone very creepy. When someone blocks you accept it, don’t do this op, if he wanted to talk to you he would. Forcing yourself like that isn’t ok.

Totally agree. It’s a bit bunny boiler!! I can see why he might have blocked her….

TokenGinger · 12/07/2022 23:02

I remembered your username, just because Jolene is one of my favourite names. I remember you posting a few months ago about a guy (not sure if it's the same one) that you called it off with as he cancelled a few dates in a row. If this is a different guy, it seems very quick to be introducing him to your child so maybe he has got cold feet. To be honest, even if it's the same guy, I think that was like your second or third date, so still really early. I'm not excusing his behaviour, he sounds like an arse, but it does feel very quick to introduce somebody to your child after only 3-4 months so I think I'd freak out a bit, too.

Still an arse, though.

AnyFucker · 12/07/2022 23:07

Keep thinking he’ll come back as I have his hoodie

are you 13?

Lovemypeaceandquiet · 12/07/2022 23:55

Given your replies OP, maybe it’s for the best …

Minoloso · 13/07/2022 00:01

Reading between the lines, you phoned because you were worried he wasn’t answering because you suspected he was up to no good. He either was or is the type that would and couldn’t reassure you. Or he is a twunt who just couldn’t be arsed to be mature. Sounds like you & your son have had a lucky escape.

BetterFuture1985 · 13/07/2022 00:12

Jolene93 · 12/07/2022 06:49

Me and the guy I’m dating usually message first thing in the morning but yesterday I hadn’t heard from him so thought I’d call instead as it was his day off, he didn’t answer but then text me and said he was on the phone - I didn’t reply as thought leave him to it as he’s obviously busy.
He then text me when he was done asking if I was okay, I said yeah and asked him etc etc.
This basically escalated out of nowhere to him asking me what was up when I said “cool xxx” to him being okay?? I said nothing and he kept pressing what was wrong so I said I don’t want an argument, then he ended it with me over text & blocked me on absolutely everything.

I’m so confused and would really like some impartial advice from people who aren’t my friends/family, as I just don’t know if he’s angry after an argument and will unblock me or what.

So he overreacts to a text message? I'd tread carefully if I were you, this sounds like controlling behaviour. If it's a one off, he unblocks you and it never happens again then ignore me. But if he reels you back in at his leisure and then does it again for no reason, be warned.

ouch321 · 13/07/2022 00:24

There are some absolute cows on this thread giving you grief OP; they probably treat people as disposable themselves.

Decent people don't behave like he does.

LilyMarshall · 13/07/2022 00:26

Why on earth was he even meeting your son this soon anyway? How long have you actually been dating, as it cannot even be 6 weeks at this stage! How many dates have you been on with him? And by that i mean going somewhere together.

you really need to get yourself into a better headspace before dating as i think you're rushing turning dating into a relationship to fill a void.

do you work? Do you have a hobby with other people? What do you do just for you?

LilyMarshall · 13/07/2022 00:27

Op, block
himo on everything as well, just in case.

wellhelloitsme · 13/07/2022 00:45

He's either a coward who didn't have the balls to say he didn't want to keep seeing you or he's a dickhead who plays games to see if you'll keep chasing him.

I sent him one final message yesterday afternoon from my friends phone explaining that I wasn’t after an argument and if he could unblock me so we could communicate like adults, but if not then wished him the best.

You've now shown him that you're bothered enough about him you'll play games (I know you won't see it like that but he will - you finding a way around being blocked and offering him another chance) so if he's the latter type mentioned above, as far as he's concerned you're someone who will put up with bullshit.

Honestly, let these ones go.

Nice guys don't do this and you want to be with a nice guy, surely?

Onwards and upwards.

Aquamarine1029 · 13/07/2022 01:02

With any luck the twat will never unblock you. He's done you a massive favour.

Aquamarine1029 · 13/07/2022 01:02

If you have any sense you'll block him yourself.