Dumped because I have children... update

[waveybaby]

I need a good slap from you all who have read my previous thread 😭

Against advice I didn't block my ex... he continued to contact me, call me, and sent a message stating he was going to turn up at my house.

I ended up speaking to him and he said all the right things, love of his life, can't live without me, lost without me etc

That what we have is special and he wants to fight for it. That "love is enough".

Asked me to come and stay with him. I went for 5 days. Everything felt normal, lovely, telling me constantly how much he loves me, having sex with me, inviting his friends round and saying how happy they will be that I'm "back". Referring to me as his girlfriend, talking about future things and addressing his insecurities and MH.

On day 5 I asked him "what are we doing?".

He tells me that he doesn't know, and that he just wants to be there for me as a friend... that he loves me but the "situation" has not changed and that's why we can't be together. Said the time we were having was amazing and everything felt so normal like nothing had happened, but he just can't.

Referred to all the things he'd said and done, including calling me his girlfriend and future talk as a "slip of the tongue" and that he was acting like we were together when we weren't... he said all he could say was that he was sorry that he "fucked up again".

Obviously I'm disgusted at myself and disgusted at him. How is "helping" someone telling them you love them, carrying on as normal and sleeping with them for 5 days?

I should have listened to all your advice. He is now blocked everywhere.

I feel so stupid, and used.

I take responsibility for going there and putting myself in that position.

I just feel so deceived. When I first spoke to him I told him that if he couldn't do us, accept the children, my circumstances etc then he needed to leave me alone and move on.

He told me that he could and that love was enough...

I know he's been an indecisive twat twice before this but I never expected him to say things like that and then end it again after a week...

I know I need to stop romanticising and get realistic.

I need to accept people lie etc, it's just hard because I'm not like that myself.

You were warned but sometimes we need to see/experience things for ourselves.
At the moment you seem so emotional I think there's a good chance you'll go back to him again for him to do this to you again.
But that's ok, however lessons you need to learn.
He doesn't want you with kids. You have kids. Unless you abandon your children you can't be in a relationship with this guy.
I think he's behaved badly, but you did allow yourself kid that he was 'the one' despite clear signs (and the advice on here).
But it's ok, you feel heart broken (very unlikely your heart is actually broken) disappointed and embarrassed. Nothing that is permanent, nothing that can't be forgotten, it's going to be ok.

I am emotional at the moment, but I know it will pass.

I know my heart isn't actually "broken", but it sure feels like it right now.

My marriage was very unhappy, my ex husband and I had nothing in common and he avoided family life.

Like I said on my previous post, it's been years and I've been carefully dating (so I thought!).

I do feel heartbroken as I thought I'd found someone who I had loads in common with, that I had fun with, that made me feel the way I always wanted someone to make me feel. I guess because of this I've ignored the indecisiveness about my children and failed to look ahead and see that this was only going to end up badly.

You need to draw a line under it now. He’s had his fun. He’s a head wrecker. Muster up your dignity and keep him blocked or he will keep reeling you in