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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The ghosted ex has been seen with another girl

29 replies

Oscarbin · 10/07/2022 22:39

......and just like that, the bloke who ghosted me has got a new girlfriend, while I carry on trying to piece things together to find out what I had did wrong.

Don't know whether to laugh or Cry.

I have his daughter on social media, maybe it's best I take them all off now.

Don't know if I am angry or not.

I am so glad I joined the gym as everyone has said how glowing I am.

OP posts:
Original poster
Oscarbin · 11/07/2022 14:00

Anyone got any advice?

OP posts:
CamsPaisleyCuffs · 11/07/2022 14:06

You'll never get closure from a ghosted. Cut all connections, don't stalk on SM., ut will tuen into an obsession. He's history. Start your next chapter.

Pack this all up in a box in your brain called "what the fuck" and forget about it.

Don't keep giving it head space, he certainly isn't giving you a second thought. Live your best life as they say.

CamsPaisleyCuffs · 11/07/2022 14:07

Sorry for the typos, but you get the gist.

inmyslippers · 11/07/2022 14:15

You didn't do anything. It says soo much about his lack of character. Block, delete and move on. Should he ever resurface don't forget how he treated you

Pinkbonbon · 11/07/2022 14:25

It's not advice but if it were me I'd be spiteful. I'd message her xD

'heads up, I'll probably sound like a loon for telling you this, but fuck it. I dated Bob for a year up until a few months ago. Until, randomly out of the blue, he literally ghosted. As you can imagine, it's quite distressing to have that happen when for all intents and purposes you thought you were in a happy, loving relationship. So, I thought you aught to know. Maybe he has his reasons. What possible reason he could possible have other than being a complete coward and bellend for not so much as a heads up, I don't know, but hey-ho. Heads up, if he can do it with me, he'll likely do it again. And if you stay and he does, I hope you'll warn the next partner. Because women should have eachothers back. Good luck! Dont take any shit from him - elz'

Then id do all the blocking ect.

Aquamarine1029 · 11/07/2022 14:30

Be glad you're rid of him. He's done you a massive favour.

Cas112 · 11/07/2022 14:38

Pinkbonbon · 11/07/2022 14:25

It's not advice but if it were me I'd be spiteful. I'd message her xD

'heads up, I'll probably sound like a loon for telling you this, but fuck it. I dated Bob for a year up until a few months ago. Until, randomly out of the blue, he literally ghosted. As you can imagine, it's quite distressing to have that happen when for all intents and purposes you thought you were in a happy, loving relationship. So, I thought you aught to know. Maybe he has his reasons. What possible reason he could possible have other than being a complete coward and bellend for not so much as a heads up, I don't know, but hey-ho. Heads up, if he can do it with me, he'll likely do it again. And if you stay and he does, I hope you'll warn the next partner. Because women should have eachothers back. Good luck! Dont take any shit from him - elz'

Then id do all the blocking ect.

This is the worst advice. Don't do this. Just move on because likely a message like this wont make a difference and he will probably start spouting some rubbish like your the crazy stalker ex.

Hold your head high and just know you had a lucky escape I guess OP

Original poster
Oscarbin · 11/07/2022 15:58

I don't actually know who she is.

All I know is that she is an older lady and they were at the pub yesterday!

I don't have him on social media as I blocked him. Just hurts like hell.

He was mortle drunk and was following behind her texting walking up to his house.

Me on the other hand have been treat like a fool.

Thank you for that xx

OP posts:
Johnnysgirl · 11/07/2022 16:00

Pinkbonbon · 11/07/2022 14:25

It's not advice but if it were me I'd be spiteful. I'd message her xD

'heads up, I'll probably sound like a loon for telling you this, but fuck it. I dated Bob for a year up until a few months ago. Until, randomly out of the blue, he literally ghosted. As you can imagine, it's quite distressing to have that happen when for all intents and purposes you thought you were in a happy, loving relationship. So, I thought you aught to know. Maybe he has his reasons. What possible reason he could possible have other than being a complete coward and bellend for not so much as a heads up, I don't know, but hey-ho. Heads up, if he can do it with me, he'll likely do it again. And if you stay and he does, I hope you'll warn the next partner. Because women should have eachothers back. Good luck! Dont take any shit from him - elz'

Then id do all the blocking ect.

Don't do this Confused. Just move on. What else can you do?

Original poster
Oscarbin · 11/07/2022 16:12

I don't know who she is x

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 11/07/2022 16:15

Why on earth would you be trying to work out what you did wrong? Rather than just think 'what a bellend' and completely forget about him?

Watchkeys · 11/07/2022 16:49

Why does he get to be the one who decides 'what you did wrong', and you have to figure it out? Turn it round: you're the one who knows. You have the facts. You know all your actions from the whole relationship. You tell us what you did wrong?

Original poster
Oscarbin · 11/07/2022 17:04

Just hurts that's all.
Manipulation a lot of the time

OP posts:
Original poster
Oscarbin · 11/07/2022 17:10

Yeah I haven't done anything, like the last time I didn't either

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 11/07/2022 17:20

Your hurting because you've been ghosted by someone manipulative, when you'd done nothing wrong.

Now you've seen him with someone new, do you wish you were as lucky as her? To be in a relationship with someone manipulative, who ghosts decent, kind people?

You can see what she's got coming, can't you?

Original poster
Oscarbin · 11/07/2022 19:20

Maybe she could change him.

I've just drove past him again! It's like I can't move without him knowing he's about or people telling me things.

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 11/07/2022 20:12

Maybe she could change him

If someone could change him, you would have done it.

How does a person go about changing another?

Original poster
Oscarbin · 11/07/2022 22:04

God knows.

Someone said it to be today and I was like eh?

Had a work out at the gym and bumped into him in his car on my way passed.

I am just like my god why. Why is he keep popping up 🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:
Palavah · 11/07/2022 22:06

There's a podcast by The Breakup Coach called How to Get Over Your Ex. I'm 5 episodes in it. There's quite a bit of cheesiness but also some useful stuff.

doitwithlove · 11/07/2022 22:14

"He was drunk and following her to his place " He sounds like a low life scum bag.

You dodged a bullet by sounds of it. As hard as it is do not give him any head space, spend that thinking time .... doing things for you

Original poster
Oscarbin · 11/07/2022 22:47

Yeah it gets worse he has other addictions which I ignored the red flags as I thought it was just a social thing and I blamed that on the way he was with me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Oscarbin · 11/07/2022 22:53

Palavah · 11/07/2022 22:06

There's a podcast by The Breakup Coach called How to Get Over Your Ex. I'm 5 episodes in it. There's quite a bit of cheesiness but also some useful stuff.

Is it working for uou x

OP posts:
chilledbubble · 11/07/2022 23:00

Have a little box in your mind and put all your thoughts of him in it. Everyday you can open the box for 10-15 minutes once a day, everytime it leaks out of that time you put it back in the box for the next designated time.

Watchkeys · 12/07/2022 10:23

@Oscarbin

Asking 'Why?' is the root of your problem. Getting the answers isn't the solution. Understanding that you can stop wondering why is the solution. You could spend your whole life wondering why the sky is blue... but wouldn't it be a waste of your time?

Why are you wasting your time on him? Is he worth it?

Thisisworsethananticpated · 12/07/2022 10:47

He will ghost her too
probably

how long were you together ?
sorry , shitty and bruising x