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Original poster

Turned off

31 replies

Asparagus74 · 10/07/2022 22:17

name changed for this..

I'm not sure if I’ve gone off Dh sexually, or just the way he behaves towards me.
He says ‘you gonna give me a treat?’ Meaning a blow job usually or similar. I keep saying it’s the biggest turn off.
why should sex be ‘me giving him a treat’?! Why can’t it be us making love. Or him making an effort. The fact he says ‘treat’ makes me feel like I’m a service.

He often says this while lying on his back in bed. It’s such a turnoff but he doesn’t see how. He says I keep turning him down. But I wouldn’t if he showed some kind of affection.
After a long day, I feel he’s giving me more jobs on the list if that makes sense.

I love sex. But this makes me feel like a maid.

I need to feel wanted, not like I’m a service.

This conversation is regular, yet he then sulks for ages due to me ‘turning him down!’

Not sure why I’m writing. I guess just off loading.

OP posts:
Lesina · 10/07/2022 22:19

He is an arse. Get rid.

heartbroken22 · 10/07/2022 22:19

You're obviously right to be bothered by this. He sounds entitled. Have you spoken to him about this when he's not begging for his treat?

Original poster
Asparagus74 · 10/07/2022 22:24

Yes I have. He is very entitled. In every area.
he expects me to make him breakfast, yet the children make their own.
I was drying my hair this evening after my shower but he wanted his dinner at that moment. We were eating separately for other reasons (he was off to get dd from work) but he expected his dinner immediately. So I ended up cooking for him wrapped in a towel. While he sat at the table waiting.

I just feel like a maid.

He’s now sulking due to the fact I didn’t pamper him enough.

OP posts:
CourtneeLuv · 10/07/2022 22:26

Jesus christ. Absolutely get rid 🤢

Cameronnorrieisabitofalright · 10/07/2022 22:28

Tell him you fancy tying him up.
Then fucking leave him there....

BanjoVio · 10/07/2022 22:29

Asparagus74 · 10/07/2022 22:24

Yes I have. He is very entitled. In every area.
he expects me to make him breakfast, yet the children make their own.
I was drying my hair this evening after my shower but he wanted his dinner at that moment. We were eating separately for other reasons (he was off to get dd from work) but he expected his dinner immediately. So I ended up cooking for him wrapped in a towel. While he sat at the table waiting.

I just feel like a maid.

He’s now sulking due to the fact I didn’t pamper him enough.

Sorry… I don’t understand. What’s wrong with the words, “I can’t right now, I’m busy”? What’s wrong with his ability to perform basic adult tasks like food preparation? And the “treat” business makes him sound like a ten-year-old.

heartbroken22 · 10/07/2022 22:30

@Asparagus74 he doesn't sound very pleasant. Have you tried falling ill for adequate days and see if he steps up. Does he know how to cook? Perhaps start getting him to do more around the house because 'you're not feeling well'...

jossysgiant · 10/07/2022 22:32

Why doesn't he make his own food? What would happen if you didn't make it for him? He sounds horrible.

LeavesOnTrees · 10/07/2022 22:36

Why don't you just tell him to f off when he makes one of his demands ?

bloodyunicorns · 10/07/2022 22:37

Oh, fuck no. Tell him why he's so nauseating, then get rid.

Does he ever put you first, eg cook for you, iron for you, go down on you with no expectation of sex??

MoonGeek · 10/07/2022 22:37

What happens when you ask him for a "treat"? He sounds horrible btw

Original poster
Asparagus74 · 10/07/2022 22:38

Never does anything for me. Ever.

OP posts:
Original poster
Asparagus74 · 10/07/2022 22:39

But when I say I’d like to be treated bettter, he kicks off and says he treats me well. He says ‘poor you!’ Patronising

OP posts:
AnuSTart · 10/07/2022 22:39

Wtaf did I just read?!!!!!!

And what is in this shitshow for you??

LeavesOnTrees · 10/07/2022 22:39

So why are you with him?

AnuSTart · 10/07/2022 22:40

He sits waiting for you to cook for him while you are still in a towel??

Would you let your daughter live like this?
What would you say to your friend who was treated like this?
It's the 21st century.
Is he a fucking moron?

dotdotdotdash · 10/07/2022 22:40

I wouldn’t be complying with the demands like asking for his dinner now. Wtf? Then marriage counselling before you get past caring!

daisyjgrey · 10/07/2022 22:45

He says ‘you gonna give me a treat?’ Meaning a blow job usually or similar.

Ew.

HollowTalk · 10/07/2022 22:56

If you think of a life without him, how do you feel?

Original poster
Asparagus74 · 10/07/2022 23:01

If he’s away I’m so chilled and relaxed. But I miss him also. It’s odd

OP posts:
Alopeciabop · 10/07/2022 23:34

Er, well yeah…of course you miss him. He’s battered your self esteem enough.

it’s actually emotional abuse. And (maybe I'm wrong but…) I’d imagine you spend a lot of time wishing he could treat you better, wishing he was like he was when you first met, maybe wondering why you’re not good enough to deserve better treatment?

seriously your DD needs to see that this behaviour is not on. Women fought very hard to get equality to where it is. Please don’t allow yourself to be used as a live in housekeeper/sex robot/cook. She deserves better and do do you.

what does his mother think? And how does he treat her out of interest

LeavesOnTrees · 10/07/2022 23:38

How on earth did you end up in a relationship like this? It really isn't normal

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 10/07/2022 23:44

He sounds like a man from the 1950's and a self entitled knob also. Stop doing everything for him as he is taking advantage of you and if he asks for his special treat tell him to just piss off as it is you that needs the pampering. You have got to make the changes and if you are drying your hair tell him dinner will be ready when he gets back or when it is ready. I could not put up with that, like an army sergeant. What does he add to your life if anything.

Closetbeanmuncher · 10/07/2022 23:46

It’s waaay too late to change the dynamic in this relationship, you know that right?

I guess what you have to ask yourself s are you happy to spend the rest of your life pandering to a spoilt, petulant brat??

Have a think on it.

WaveyHair · 10/07/2022 23:48

What a man child!! Was this how his mum treated him growing up, doing everything for him?

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