Did anyone end up with a decent/professional/loving man when you were a single parent?

[SoRnsld]

I am a single mum to a little boy and I can’t imagine ever meeting anyone again. I’m 35 so not getting younger. I would love a family unit but I am in a professional job and relatively high earner. I feel like I will never meet anyone in the circles I am in and will forever be left out. I would happily date any nice man, it’s not about their job, but I’m just conscious that I only tend to meet people through work and extensions of people/friends I know in similar jobs.

So you want any new man to bankroll you and your child?

Yes met my DH when son was 6 and married when he was 9. He also had a DS and then we went on to have a DS together (now at uni). We were however both solicitors at the time and met at work.

I did. I was widowed at 40 (2 DC under 10) and later on met DP online and he is all the things you say. We’ve only been together 2 years mind you…but so far so good.

Yes. Am single mum to two DC. Professional job. After a couple of false starts, I'm with a lovely lovely man. Met OLD. He's the best man I've ever known (except my own Dad) and although it's early days (over a year but under two) I can't see this going anywhere other than forever.

Yes, I met my now husband as a lone parent when my son was three. My husband is now a fantastic Papa to our daughter and my now seven year old.

It was hard as I needed someone very patient as I had very little free time for dating, if I’m honest it only worked as our work places were very very close and his flat was literally round the corner from his work, so we could go on lunch dates. Without those we would have only seen each other once a fortnight, which just isn’t enough.

I’d tried online dating, but hadn’t really clicked with anyone enough to want to meet them. In the end I used a dating agency, the one I used had singles events, a matching service and a date service (the date service will match you, and if you say yes arrange a date for you both). It also meant everyone was generally who they said they were, photos were vetted to make sure they weren’t old, your employment had to be proven etc. So it felt like you were less likely to meet a bullshitter.

Yes I did. I was 36 and a single mum of 2 kids. I met him at work, it was a bit tricky professionally at first and caused some gossip. But it all worked out well and we’ve been married 13 years now and have our own child together.

Yes, when I was 35! Spent 8 years as a single mum dating cocklodgers and mostly older men, very independent and financially solvent myself so didn't want to end up with someone who wasn't equally ambitious and on the same page financially. met my now DH on a dating app and nearly disregarded him as he was 31. But I wasn't looking for anything serious so thought he'd be fun to hang out with.

3 years on and we're married with a DC of our own and a beautiful home we bought together: he's a wonderful family man, works hard for us and supports my career and is the best step-dad. Sometimes still can't believe I married a toy boy fling.

and @Musttryharder2021

Why be so stupidly and deliberately obtuse....what's wrong with aspiring to own a house with one's partner?? Seems entirely and completely normal and reasonable to aim to be joint home owners when you're in a committed relationship, and is no way the same as having the expectation that someone provides it for you!!

Because it's a transactional, instrumental arrangement and suggests that the poster wouldn't be with anyone unless they can financially chip in so that she can afford a house.

That isn't what she is saying at all. Read her post properly before casting judgement.

No. I've not even dated or gone out in 13 yrs. I simply don't have time around work and the dcs.

Yes. Professional men's relationships break down just the same as any other demographic

Yep - but it was through work, he was my boss.
I was late 30s with 2 young children.

Why wouldn't @Roseiri want someone who can chip in to help buy a house? His 50p and her 50p will make a pound.
After a certain age and especially with a child, it's responsible to want a relationship that enhances your life and prospects.

I was a single parent, very much a lone parent as ex dh basically vanished a few months after us separating.

My dc were young and I was financially ruined thanks to my ex and actually very close to losing our home when I met my dh.

He was considerably younger and happy to go at my pace (and more importantly my dc's pace) He was actually helping me to pay my mortgage before they'd even met him!

15 years later, he has proved himself to be a thoroughly decent, loyal, hardworking and dedicated dh and stepdad.
He treats the dc like his own and puts us all first and loves us all so much.

Don't give up hope op! There are some good men out there and don't ever settle for anything less!

Yes! Don't despair. I met my DH online but through a shared hobby rather than OLD, he was widowed and I have 3 children who were 4, 5 and 7 at the time. It was tough in the first few years as my divorce was traumatic and drawn out, and the kids were hard work, our families disapproved as they all said 'too soon' for both of us following divorce/bereavement but that's a distant memory now and we've been together 20 years

Yes me. I met the most amazing life partner through OLD. We were both single parents. Couldn't be happier, I feel lucky every day.

@Roseiri
Because men don't want to be walking wallets

@FrancescaContini

Why not?

I make dh enormously happy and he was more than happy to provide for me and my dc right from the start of our relationship.
I'm guessing you'd be appalled to learn he has 'bank rolled' a bigger house for us, driving lessons, so many extra curricular stuff, holidays, university etc

15 years on, we are still very happy and he is a great 'Dad' to my now grown up dc.

As long as you're happy being financially happy in another adult

How is going halves on a purchase with a partner being a 'walking wallet'?!

@Musttryharder2021
I'm going to presume you're not accusing me of living inside dh and that's a typo accusing me of being financially dependent on dh? 😬

We're a team, I work too but in a job that's extremely important but unfortunately low paid. Dh has a huge respect for what I do and as he able to earn way more than me, working less hard, he is more than happy to 'bank roll' me.
I'm on our mortgage, married etc so feel perfectly secure financially.

Yes sorry a typo!
No job can be THAT important and low paid.

Good for you for being transactional and married, the worst is not to be married!

Umm...care work? Pretty damn important and NMW in many cases. It's not transactional to recognise that a committed couple will be more financially comfortable than an SP, the issue for me is security and the upheaval that comes with the breakdown of an relationship which is financially entwined, hence my preference for staying independent financially, whilst being v happy in a relationship.

Yes. Been together eight years. He's solvent, smart, reliable and kind. It's not been easy but relationships aren't, a lot of the time.
He never seemed deterred by the presence of my children despite having none of his own. I am the one who has found the presence of children in the mix a challenge; it's not easy but we muddle through.