Wife expects "too much "

[ingelbybardi]

I'm female and have been married for 5 years to my wife.
She is never ever happy.
Everything has to be her way.
We bought our house 3 years ago (she picked the house)
We live in a reasonably priced area and a 3bed cost us £89,000
Our mortgage is £300 a month
We both work and have 2 kids.

After bills /food we are left with around £700
We have a nice life.
We go on holiday ,are comfortable with what we have

My wife isn't happy
"Mark from work has a new build house"
"Lisa has a new build house that cost £300,000 and we are stuck here"
"I'm embarrassed by our house"

Our house is lovely ,big garden etc and she loved it till she realised her work mates had more expensive houses.
She's had us viewing new builds -going to bank finding out mortgage.
They've said it will be £800 a month
She now wants to do this -even tho the house we are in is lovely (just to show off )

We went to Gran Canaria on holiday -that wasn't good enough as her work friends went to santorini

I'm drained honestly
She's never happy
What would you do?

Well OP I think your wife is crazy! New builds are really not all that and have awful gardens. Your house it probably much better and has more long term potential

@wellhelloitsme

This statement was not in the initial post, yeah I would be gone if my voice was always ignored.

@5128gap

Sorry didn't realise there are 4 children , never fit them all in a new build property, she'll be wanting an extension next.

She won't speak to me unless I agree to move

This type of passive-aggressiveness is poison to a marriage. I do know what you mean, though. Some people get fixed on some material thing that they absolutely have to have to the point of obsession.

Have you had an honest conversation with your wife about how this is making you feel? Nothing wrong with wanting more from life IMO but it sounds like she's wanting this more for show... Like it's one big competition?

From what you've described what you have now is wonderful and I'm not shocked your feeling drained with it. I wouldn't move personally just to please my S.O on these grounds if it wasnt what i wanted..It's ridiculous

I would stick to my guns! Cheap nice homes are a real real treasure.
With the extra mobey you have each month you can make a palace out of it!
She needs to give her head a shake and be graceful for what she has!

Was she always like this OP?

Is this the only issue (because 99/100 times, the nominal topic of the post is just the tip of the iceberg) in your relationship ?

(If yes and no - have a think about WHY, because you don't want to end up with a similar problem in your next relationship).

If she goes back full time and really works on her career, it'll eventually provide a bit more financial leeway and flexibility. But it wouldn't be easy; the happiest families are know are where both parents work AND do some childcare (often by e.g. 4 day weeks). Two full time workers and kids is quite draining, even though it reduces worry about redundancy etc.

Perhaps suggest she gets a better paid job to pay for it.

And I've just realised there might not be! I read it as 'we both work and both have two kids'. But possibly only 2 altogether!

Honestly OP? I'd put her back in the sea.

She sounds tedious and exhausting.

Tell her Santorini is over rated and over priced and full of shallow poseurs getting ripped off
And Bi fold doors are so Last Year 😆
She sounds tedious 😴

What you have there OP is a permanently dissatisfied, whiney brat….

As soon as you buy that house there will be another list of demands based on what other people have, or what she’s seen on social media and now wants.

No way could I entertain that bs long term.

Missed the point but.. why not just do up your current house. Wouldn't go for bifolds though!

This is a terrible time to take on more debt!
Ask her for a plan for her working more hours and childcare being covered.
If she gets huffy that you are ruining her dreams or such like, just calmly point out that you are being sensible and thinking of the long term.

Sounds like she lives her life in constant compassion to others and tries to "keep up with the Jones"! She needs to learn to live her own life to the beat of her own drum and yours. She will never be happy while she constantly compares her life to what others have. The grass always remains greener no matter what side you are on.