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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Was he 'negging' me?

58 replies

Heytheredeliah · 08/07/2022 14:09

Hi
I have been on a few dates with a guy I met on a dating app. He has talked a lot about his ex. I am not really sure why he was telling me all about her because I didn't ask and I wasn't really that interested. He said she was very beautiful, very intelligent, and very caring.

The way he talked about her made it seem like she was something extraordinary. I mean that he really built her up into some kind of wonder woman or something. By that point, I was curious to see what she was like, so I looked her up on social media. I found her Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn profiles. I know this sounds nasty, but I really didn't think she looked anything special.

Do you think he was saying all of that about her to 'neg' me?

OP posts:
ImpartialMongoose · 08/07/2022 21:27

Personally I think he's saying it to impress you, to show you what a catch he is that he was in a relationship with a woman who could have anyone. It's just boasting. I've had this a few times where men who liked me have boasted about how beautiful and amazing their exes were. It just made me see them as pitiful.

Noodledoodles1 · 08/07/2022 22:33

Heytheredeliah · 08/07/2022 15:10

Because when I don't understand something, it bothers me.

You are already sucked in to the pick me dance then I'm afraid

Closetbeanmuncher · 08/07/2022 22:40

What I don't get is why he was/is so infatuated with her. She doesn't appear to be anything special. I have LinkedIn and Instagram and I know a stunningly beautiful, successful woman when I see one. She didn't appear to be that

Well it’s clearly working now you’re comparing yourself to her and second guessing. There may be a million and one reasons why he’s infatuated with her but you will never know, and that’s where it should end.

If you can’t see you need to bin him off and drop it you’re not ready to date.

User1406 · 08/07/2022 23:04

It could be 3 things:

  1. He's still hung up on his ex.
  2. He's trying to make you feel insecure and needy.
  3. He's trying to make himself look good by telling you he can get amazing women.

All 3 are red flags. Walk away.

LightSpeeds · 08/07/2022 23:13

He's already made it clear that he still wants his ex and has bigged her up - either because that's how he genuinely feels about her or because he's playing some sort of game with you.

You're probably making a mistake wondering what it's really all about. Don't waste any more time on him!

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 09/07/2022 00:07

He is a knob head and do not see him again. He should be excited to be on dates with you and not talking about his ex. Believe me if he is like that now what will he be like in the future. Bin him and move on as what he is doing is not very nice and so immature and is putting you down. You can do so much better.

Heytheredeliah · 09/07/2022 09:13

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 09/07/2022 00:07

He is a knob head and do not see him again. He should be excited to be on dates with you and not talking about his ex. Believe me if he is like that now what will he be like in the future. Bin him and move on as what he is doing is not very nice and so immature and is putting you down. You can do so much better.

thanks I won't bother with him again

OP posts:
Jewel7 · 09/07/2022 11:21

He isn’t over her. Going on dates talking about her isn’t going to help I think I would have pointed that out. Then ran.

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