So I’ve been with my husband now for 8 years and married for 5. In the most part he’s charming, caring and we have very similar interests in things so life should not be better… Except it’s a living hell for what is now being more often than not. As I say he can be so bloody lovely and everything you could ever want, that is until he drinks!
when he drinks it’s like a switch has been flicked and Jekyll transformers into Hyde. As soon as he picks up his first drink of alcohol I instantly tense up and my anxiety starts. The whole time is spend on fragile eggshells and trying my best to keep the mood light and happy, it’s extremely exhausting. Try as I may, it’s just never enough and 9x out of 10 he turns. Sometimes I’m coughed off guard but it’s very very rear this happens, it’s like I have some strange sick sense for it now and I know he’s going to become a arsehole before he does. On this odd occasion where I’m completely knocked over with shock and horror is when we are having a fantastic time with friends and or family and all of a sudden he will start! Complete out of the blue and for absolutely no reason at all, it’s so embarrassing too. Honestly it’s like he just can’t copy with happy emotions or seeing everyone especially me having a laugh and enjoying themselves.
it’ll start with his demeanour and then snippy comments to or about someone or something. Snide remarks and sligh digs to try and get a raise from me or anyone. If that doesn’t work he ups his game and brings out harsher insults and or put downs. This could be absolutely anything it really doesn’t matter as long as he now becomes the centre of attention and everyone has stopped having a great time and is now as miserable as he is, if that doesn’t work, then he pulls out all the stops and starts talking about death and really depressing things and telling stories about how hard his life has been and poor poor me etc etc, he literally has never known a days struggle in his life and everything was and still is handed to him on a silver plate. His life hasn’t ever been shite the only shit situation that have been in his life, so I’ve learned over the years have all been his own making because of drinking and treating people like crap and also thinks he’s better than everyone… so absolutely no sympathy comes his way when he pulls this one and that makes he so so mad.
anyway, so it’s got to the point now where non of our friends will come over or go out and socialise wit us because they know he will kick off and they are sick of it and, I don’t want to go out in public with him because he’s so embarrassing. A few months back we went out for something to eat and he was already half cut by the time our main meal turned up but he decided once we finished we should go to the local pub for a drink. I tried and tried to talk him out of it but he wasn’t having any of it was just kept saying stop being such a boring bitch and let’s go. So to shut him up and try and please him we went. We had not been in there long before he pissed some girls off because he said they all looked like slags very loudly!! I mouthed sorry to them all and gave them a look of please don’t react for my sake, they obviously understood the look coz they said nothing but gave me a knowing nod. A little later on however there really was no getting out of it with a look and a nod. We were sitting in the garden having a drink and a smoke an a grouper of young lads came in, there must have been about 10-12 of them all around 20-25 years old. The boxing was on so they were talking about it and quit lively but not causing any issues at all. My husband then decided to tell them to shut up and called them muggy little c*ts well, you can imagine! One of the very calmly said, what is your problem mate? It’s a pub people talk and it gets loud?… my husband then told him to f-off and shut the F-up. By this point I want the floor to open up and swallow me up! The whole pub is now watch, literally everyone that was inside has now come out because it’s kicking off or about too. I’m begging with him to shut up and let’s go, they are all shouting at him he’s shouting back I’m pleading with him and them it’s an absolute nightmare and honestly, I was getting scared. I figured out who the “leader” of the group was and I went to him and said, please, he’s very pissed and I know that is no excuse to be a c*T but if I get him out now can’t we walk away from this and not be followed home? I stopped and for what felt like a lifetime, had a think and said yes! Get him out of our face and out of this pub now and we will leave it at that, we even shook on it! So I literally grabbed hold of him and dragged him out and convinced him we had to go fast! Obviously one we got away from there he directed it all my way and I became his target but I just did not care at that point I wanted to get home and behind a locked door.
sorry I know I’m rambling, I guess why I’m writing this is to find out if anyone else has this kind of thing with their other half and if so, firstly how are you? How do you put up with it? Why do you put up with it? Has anyone ever got them to see it’s the drink that is the problem or are you just told it’s not the drink at all, even tho you no it damn well is. And finally, did it ever get and better?
many thanks if you ready all of my post, I really appreciate it xx