Page 2 | Do I ask him if the date is on or leave it?

Sundaycoffee · 2022-06-30T19:41:17+00:00

Online dating, been chatting for a week or so. We agreed to meet Friday, but no more specific plans made. Said we would work out where shortly. He messaged me on Monday saying he was looking forward to seeing me Friday, I said me too. We've had some sort of communication each day. I sent him a message last night with a question and didn't get a response, this is the first day i havent heard from him. Do I message again asking if the date is still on tomorrow?

Thisisworsethananticpated · 30/06/2022 23:41

Have a plan B lined up
and don’t text him
just don’t !
if he wants a date he’ll text
and if he doesn’t , you will know that he doesn’t
pull away

sorry it’s shit !

SkeletonFight · 01/07/2022 01:38

I had this once and hadn't heard from him by the Friday lunchtime so messaged him. " Are we still meeting tonight ?" I get the reply "I hope so".. He messaged then at about 6.30 saying "Meet you at x place at 7.30" He told me we had agreed to meet so there was nothing else to add. We are married now 😂

Original poster

Sundaycoffee · 01/07/2022 10:03

SkeletonFight · 01/07/2022 01:38

I had this once and hadn't heard from him by the Friday lunchtime so messaged him. " Are we still meeting tonight ?" I get the reply "I hope so".. He messaged then at about 6.30 saying "Meet you at x place at 7.30" He told me we had agreed to meet so there was nothing else to add. We are married now 😂

Presumably in this case you would have heard from him anyway though at some point even if you hadn't messaged?
Hes either forgotten or purposely not responded. Neither good signs but my friend said he's allowed to forget as he's probably dating multiple people, but really how hard is it to remember a date with someone you have had daily contact with for over a week 🤣

OP posts:

SkeletonFight · 01/07/2022 10:11

Sundaycoffee · 01/07/2022 10:03

Presumably in this case you would have heard from him anyway though at some point even if you hadn't messaged?
Hes either forgotten or purposely not responded. Neither good signs but my friend said he's allowed to forget as he's probably dating multiple people, but really how hard is it to remember a date with someone you have had daily contact with for over a week 🤣

Show quote history

To be fair my H is a bit quirky. I was getting ready not knowing where I was going or at exactly what time but it was the second date . I did crack down on that though pretty soon! But to you - he still hasn't responded from Wed night? He sounds like some of the pratts I met who were holding their options open.

CatchingSocks · 01/07/2022 10:17

He's been asked a direct question and not responded. Why would you even want a relationship with such a person? Tedious and rude.

ChristmasFluff · 01/07/2022 13:25

So he's happy to have you hanging around and leaving a vacant space in your weekend 'just in case'?

People who allow men to treat them like that get to be with men who treat them like that.

Ignore him. If he texts, then you've already made plans for this entire weekend - and make sure you have!

Blossomandbee · 01/07/2022 13:32

I would normally say no harm in a quick text to ask if you're still on, but as he's ignored your last message I would just leave it and make other plans. As someone else has said, if he suddenly messages just say sorry you're now busy as you hadn't heard.

Heytheredeliah · 01/07/2022 14:02

No, do not text him. If he hasn't replied, then he is not interested. I don't think you should ever chase a man. If he isn't chasing you, then he isn't interested. Sorry.

I would plan another date with another match.

burnoutbabe · 01/07/2022 14:12

I don't see the harm in texting today to say - so what is the plan for later - as you agreed to meet friday and not everyone needs to have made detailed plans beforehand.

yes he may have changed mind but he may also have just assumed it was on and can be confirmed Friday during the day. if that is going to annoy you long term, then you can mention it for date 2 onwards.

Original poster

Sundaycoffee · 01/07/2022 14:42

So he messaged me: he can't do tonight due to a deal closing at work so might have to work late. He's asked to reschedule. Not sure whether to bother though

OP posts:

Sandra1984 · 01/07/2022 14:56

Sundaycoffee · 01/07/2022 14:42

So he messaged me: he can't do tonight due to a deal closing at work so might have to work late. He's asked to reschedule. Not sure whether to bother though

I wouldn’t bother replying at all. Sounds like he can’t care less. Move on to greener pastures OP. If he ever gets back he’s going to really have to put a lot of effort in getting that date.

AryaStarkWolf · 01/07/2022 15:07

Sundaycoffee · 01/07/2022 14:42

So he messaged me: he can't do tonight due to a deal closing at work so might have to work late. He's asked to reschedule. Not sure whether to bother though

I wouldn't bother replying to that

Minoloso · 01/07/2022 15:10

Yeah don’t bother to reply. If he’s into you he’ll keep trying. Next!!

Heytheredeliah · 01/07/2022 15:16

Sundaycoffee · 01/07/2022 14:42

So he messaged me: he can't do tonight due to a deal closing at work so might have to work late. He's asked to reschedule. Not sure whether to bother though

Don't bother replying. It sounds to me like he was not replying to you earlier to keep you 'on hold' while he planned a date with someone else. If the plans had fallen through with the other person, then he would have replied saying 'Let's meet tonight'.

SkeletonFight · 01/07/2022 15:21

I agree! I had this with someone having to see his daughter then trying to rearrange. I don't know why people can't just be decent.

fghj149 · 01/07/2022 15:25

I agree, don’t bother responding I’m technically waiting on a reschedule for a first date from 9 years ago! He was all over me for weeks before that and then asked for a “rain check” with no explanation. You deserve somebody better than that 💐 UNLESS he has a very valid excuse and still wants to pursue you. Then he could be worth a second chance.

Shitscared123 · 01/07/2022 15:26

Definitely don’t reply to the latest text. He should have given you specific days. Don’t chase.

HollowTalk · 01/07/2022 15:28

The deal closing at work aka his wife is on to him!

burnoutbabe · 01/07/2022 15:34

Or it could all be true and you have missed out on a nice man.

I mean I wouldn't rest all my holes on him but I'd sent back a pleasant "hope it's not a late one, yes let me know when your free" so ball back in his court.

TortugaRumCakeQueen · 01/07/2022 15:35

A deal closing at work? At night time? Give over.

HollowTalk · 01/07/2022 15:36

@burnoutbabe Reread your post!

gobblegobble0987 · 01/07/2022 15:44

@HollowTalk oh my god
Best autocorrect

Original poster

Sundaycoffee · 01/07/2022 15:47

TortugaRumCakeQueen · 01/07/2022 15:35

A deal closing at work? At night time? Give over.

He covers contracts in NYC which I guess is the reason for calls coming in later.Not sure if that's reason enough to cancel the whole date though. Surely he could say just a heads up I might get some calls through tonight due to xyz is that ok?

OP posts:

Sidge · 01/07/2022 15:48

Yeah he’s had a better offer (better in his view!).

I had this when OLD. Multi dating, it’s fine if you’re honest but don’t try and arrange dates for the same night as others!

If I’d had a date with a guy and provisionally arranged to see him Friday for example, I wouldn’t then arrange a back up date for Friday just in case. If the other guy asked me if I was free Friday, I’d say “well I potentially have a date, how about Saturday?” One guy told me if Friday guy blew me out then to call him!

Woowaa · 01/07/2022 15:49

Sundaycoffee · 01/07/2022 15:47

He covers contracts in NYC which I guess is the reason for calls coming in later.Not sure if that's reason enough to cancel the whole date though. Surely he could say just a heads up I might get some calls through tonight due to xyz is that ok?

Show quote history

Oh God, it gets worse. This just screams bullshit TBH.