What do you think about this message I've received?

[Weirdmessage]

I've just received a random message on Facebook, what do you think about it?
I have been married to my husband for 4 years and we have a 4 year old and a newborn.

I would do the same as you. His reaction is key. If he laughs and passes you his phone whilst carrying on, unperturbed, with whatever he was doing, then you don't have a problem. If not then you have problem.

Spam/phishing.
It's quite an effective 'hook' as it plays on insecurity.

It's one of two common 'cheating' scams/phishes. This one offers you information on your supposedly cheating partner which you will have to pay to access. The other one fabricates a 'cheating' conversation that appears to involve yourself, and asks for payment not to send the 'evidence' to your partner.

www.scam-detector.com/article/your-lover-is-cheating/

It is clearly a scam.
The spelling is rubbish They refer to the Op'DH as a boyfriend.
I would be bothered if they sent any links that it is a virus. It is playing in fear and insecurity.
Personally I'd report to fb, delete and get on with my day.

Don't be the a*hole.
Don't start the trust games.
People need privacy and respect, even in relationships.

This, I would have a sneaky look

I dont think its spam

Wow. This doesn't make any sense, as well as having no understanding of what love and trust are like.

If you felt you needed to check in the first place, other than talking to your partner about it, you'd be naive to stay in the relationship.

Absolutely bonkers. If my partner did this to me it would be over.

Its spam OP.

Yup. People on this thread don't seem to understand what a loving, trusting relationship actually is.

Very nasty spam OP. Just block and ignore.

Anyone who doesn’t know the word ‘cheating’ has an A in it isn’t worthy of your worry. It’s either some bored (and thick) kid or a scammer.

The reason spelling is typically so bad in scammer messages isn’t, as people think, because they’re all created by non-native speakers. It’s deliberate. They want to wheedle out people who are clever enough to spot a scam at the first hurdle. The theory is that if you’re daft enough to be fooled by a message saying ‘Your Appel account will be locked!!’, you’re more likely to be an easy mark for the scam that follows.

It’s probably kids made an account and sent the message to loads of accounts for what they think is a laugh. You know your relationship no one else.

I'd message back "if you have legitimate concerns about my relationship then message me direct from your account - not this fake profile you've set up"

Almost certainly spam. Show dh when he comes home and look through his fb together to ensure no one has hacked his account.

If you're partner asked to see your messages/check their FB account to prove your trustworthiness, what would you think?

Do you have personal conversations with friends? Perhaps offering them support and advice on problems they'd consider private, confidential, and shared in trust?

Do you think your partner doesn't have or shouldn't be allowed to have these same types of conversations with their friends?

My dh and I have nothing to hide and we look at anything and use each other’s phones all the time.

confidential conversations are very unlikely to happen on FB! And ofc you should check in case the fb has been hacked, or something is amiss.

For those that have expressed concerns over my theory that I'd believe my partner but still ask to see - I don't get why that's so bonkers?? Surely it's more bonkers to snoop behind his back. I know of people who have found other people's partners on dating sites and have sent annoymous messages to the wife/girlfriend. I don't think it's totally unheard of? If my partner received a message like that - I'd be more than happy to show him my messages. You don't need to read through his conversations, it's more about seeing if there's a conversation on there with someone you don't expect / don't know.

For those that have expressed concerns over my theory that I'd believe my partner but still ask to see - I don't get why that's so bonkers?? Surely it's more bonkers to snoop behind his back

There are more options than 'ask to look at his phone' and 'snoop'. People are surprised you haven't realised this.

It doesn't make sense that a real person would choose that name as their fake profile name to send that message. I vote spam. But I'd also want to check it out!

Every time I wonder why such low-effort scams work, I'm reminded by Mumsnet how easy it is for them to succeed.

Every time I wonder why such low-effort scams work, I'm reminded by Mumsnet how easy it is for them to succeed.

It is terrifying - my DM is similarly incapable of spotting an obvious scam and it both causes her unnecessary anxiety and at the same time poses a genuine risk.

They can't even spell, can they?

0/10

Yeah this thread is eye opening.

This is so obviously a scam.

Spam/scam, they could have atleast tried to be convincing with the spelling...

They make these errors deliberately, to filter out the clever people. This leaves them with the less clever people, making their scam more likely to succeed.