Colleague told me to F off today

[Dieselfungus]

In front of the whole office. Still reeling tbh. How would your organisation handle this?

While it's not great we need more context
Was it out if the blue?
We're you arguing?

Yep just out the the blue, I was giving them some help with something but they were clearly stressed about it. Was a work related matter

Had they asked for help?

If it was in public, I think I'd choose someone else who was present, and whose judgement I trust, and ask if they thought I did anything to justify such as outburst.

Also check if they are under any extraordinary pressure at the moment (ill relatives etc) before you take it any further.

Ensuring everyone can work together in future is important, and will earn you the respect of others.

ask if they thought I did anything to justify such as outburst.

Really? Do you think anything justifies telling a colleage to F Off? (other than perhaps groping, I concede)

I've worked in the same place since 1991. I've never been told to f off by a staff member. I've sworn around them at the job frustrations as they have but never at each other

Did they ask for your help or could they have felt you were undermining them by getting involved. Its not professional to tell a colleague to eff off but are they normally very stressed at work.

If they were really stressed then I'd probably let it go. Maybe they thought you were trying to undermine them rather than help?

If its a one off the manager may ask you both what happened and what support they can offer you both

They could be having a breakdown. You just don't know. It sounds like they reached the end of their rope.

They need speaking to. Either you can take them to one side and say whilst you appreciate you might have annoyed them you don’t expect to be spoken to like that, is everything ok? You’d like an apology. Or if you’d rather not raise yourself or she tells you to F off again, straight up to the line manager to deal with it.

If my manager knew it had happened, she’d have an informal meeting with your colleague, tell him/her it’s not acceptable, but try to get to the bottom of what’s going on. I don’t think she’d do anything official/formal unless there was another incident, or unless the colleague disclosed something that needs action.

Tackle it yourself (calmly) first. Tell them that you will not be sworn at and if it happens again you will have to report it. Document the conversation just in case.

My organisation would want someone senior to be informed so that appropriate action can be taken.

Did you tell a manager or supervisor what happened, or was one present when it happened anyway? Or was it a manager who swore at you?

This behavior would never be tolerated in our workplace, no matter the context. I’ve seen people getting fired for a lot less. Nobody should disrespect a colleague like this.

Absolutely unacceptable. Excellent that there were witnesses. Do not tolerate this OP. Unless you have a grovelling apology by start of business tomorrow, make an appointment with your superior to give a statement. It is a gross lack of respect and this word does not belong in a professional setting.

they can explain that to HR and a support plan put in place. In the absence of a justifying excuse or at the very least a sincere apology, they should be disciplined.

Sorry to hear that Dom, but that's Boris for you.

When my colleage swore at me at work after starting an argument it was put on her file as "violent confrontation" despite neither of us moving from our seats.

Do not stand for that treatment OP. It's despicable.

🤣

This is what would happen in my organisation too.

There would be a a serious conversation in my organisation but context is everything. My colleague did once tell me to fuck off but I was taking the piss and it was banter - very unusual in my office but it was a Friday and colleague and I have worked together for years. I made a joke and he retaliated like a friend would in a jokey way then realised where he was and was mortified while I was laughing. If he’d actually said it seriously that would have been very different.

OP, don't let it go.

They may think that they can verbally abuse you again.

You need to complain about it.

You should have said ‘you first.’

I wouldn't let a colleague speak to me like that, especially if I was trying to help them. If they don't apologise next time you work together then speak to your manager or HR about it.

This exact same thing happened to me years ago
She asked me for help, became stressed with what I was showing her, growled at me and told me to fuck off
Now I was barely out of my teens at this point so what happened is we didn't speak for days until I offered to get her a cup of tea 🙄
I wouldn't be such a push over if it happened now